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*欢迎来到南方公园 享受好时光* I'm going out to South Park gonna have myself a time
*到处都是友好的脸 淳朴的居民乐天知命* Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation
*来到南方公园 可不要大惊小怪* I'm goin out to south park gonna leave my woes behind
*大车小车随便停 人人喊着 "邻居你好!"* Ample parking day or night people spouting howdy neighbor
*到了南方公园 看你感觉多自然* I'm heading out to south park to see if i cant unwind
*(你要听得清我说话 算你最厉害!)* I like girls with big fat titties really big fat titties
*快来南方公园 让你笑口常开* So come on out to south park and meet some friends of mine
南方公园 第8季 第8集 傻冒和白痴 iTunes版本调教：Tears 双语合成 Lv&daisy
南方公园 绿加白 奶牛上场 帅帅帅! We are South Park, Green and White. Let's go, Cows! Fight fight fight!
没人能把奶牛打败! 加油南方公园! Nobody can beat a Cow! Let's gooo, South Park!
嘿 南方公园 来点学校精神? Hey, South Park! Do you have school spirit?
哞! Moooooooo!
我们奶牛队最有学校精神了 是吗 Mandy? I think us Cows have the best school spirit. Huh, Mandy?
对 南方公园下周在利特尔顿市 也会保持这种斗志的 Yeah, and South Park is really gonna stick it to Littleton next week!
现在请我们的吉祥物出场 让赛前动员会继续! Let's bring out our mascot and get this pep rally going!
是Billy! Billy向我挥手 向我挥挥手 Billy It's Billy! Uh, Billy will wave for me! Wave for me, Billy!
Butters 给我闭嘴
我们是"善待动物组织"的人! We are People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals! We protest
我们要抗议你们的麻木不仁 竟然把奶牛作为学校吉祥物! your insensitive use of cows as your school mascot!
哦老天 又是"PETA" (善待动物组织) Oh Jesus, not PETA again.
奶牛被摧残被屠宰 还成了商品! Cows are maimed and slaughtered and used as a commodity!
这对奶牛不公平!你们就这么没人性吗! This is unfair to the cows! This is your insensitivity!
EWWW!
奶牛成了奴隶! 奶牛成了商品! The cow is a slave! The cow is a commodity!
奶牛被这错乱的社会弃之不理! To be thrown away by a society gone wrong!
好了 孩子们 我刚刚接到通知 All right, children, I have just been informed that
鉴于我校已经第47次 since our school has been attacked
被生态恐怖主义者袭击 by eco-terrorists for the 47th time,
我们要换掉学校吉祥物 we are going to change our school mascot.
AWWWWWWWWW!...
可是 Garrision先生 如果我们换了吉祥物 那就意味着生态恐怖主义者赢了! Buh, Mr. Garrision, if we change our mascot that means the eco-terrorists win!
说得没错 Stanley 生态恐怖主义者是赢了 That's right, Stanley, the eco-terrorists win.
现在 我这有吉祥物的候选名单 Now, I have here a mascot selection sheet.
每个学生都要勾选出 Every student is supposed to check
最喜欢的吉祥物 the box next to the mascot they like the most.
最受欢迎的那一个 将会成为新的学校吉祥物! And the most popular selection will be the school's new mascot.
可我们就喜欢奶牛! But we like being the Cows!
你要为遭受奴役和涂炭的百万生灵负责! You're responsible for the enslavement and genocide of millions!
滚 滚出去 PETA!我们已经要换吉祥物了 Get, get outta here, PETA! We're changin' the mascot already!
那谁来为那些无法自辩的生命申诉? Who'll speak for those who cannot speak for themselves?
你还说 快 快滚出去! Go on, get, get outta here!
快滚出去! Get, get out!
主啊 他们到底哪儿冒出来的啊 Jesus, where do they keep coming from?
快点 快滚 Go on, get outta here.
这太扯了 伙计! This is bullcrap, dude!
孩子们 也没有那么糟糕 Now children, it's not that bad. There's plenty
我们有很多很棒的新吉祥物可以选 of great new mascots on the sheet to chose from.
飓风 暴风雪 红皮人 印度人... The Hurricanes, the Blizzards, the Redskins, the Indians...
印度人和红皮人不是挺侮辱人的吗? But aren't Indians and Redskins just as offensive?
不会的 那些还好 PETA不关心人的 No, those are fine. PETA doesn't care about people.
天杀的 PETA真把我惹毛了!我才不要傻了吧唧的老鹰 Goddamnit PETAns piss me off! We're never gonna end up
或者娘娘腔山猫当吉祥物呢 with a stupid eagle or a faggy bobcat as a mascot.
等等 伙计们 我有个好主意! Wait. You guys, I have an awesome idea!
我们可以悄悄地告诉所有学生 不要选这单子上的任何吉祥物 We should secretly go around and tell all the students we can to not check any of
然后写上"巨型灌肠器" (也有大混蛋 大傻冒的意思) the mmascots on this election sheet, and instead write in "Giant Douche. "
耶 Ye-heah!
(耶 那超赞的!) (Yeah, totally awesome!)
好...不 不 等等 等等 我有个更好的主意 伙计们 Yeh- no, no, wait wait wait. I got a better idea you guys.
我们应该悄悄地告诉 What we should do is we should secretly go around and tel
所有学生不要选这单子上的 all the sstudents we can to not check any of
任何吉祥物 然后写上"便便三文治" (谐音tard有迟钝的意思) the mascots on this election sheet, and instead write in "Turd Sandwich. "
"便便三文治"又不比"巨型灌肠器"好 Turd Sandwich isn't better than Giant Douche.
好了岂止千百倍 对吗 伙计们? Heh, it's only about a thousand times better, am I right guys?
快点! 我们得赶快告诉所有人 肯定超带劲儿的! Come on! We have to tell everybody fast! This is gonna be soo funny!
这我的主意 我们要告诉所有人 It was MY idea and we're gonna tell everyone to
写上"巨型灌肠器" 那样好玩多了! write in "Giant Douche!" It's way funnier!
才不是! IT IS NOT!
Kenny 哪个更有趣 巨型灌肠器还是便便三文治? Kenny, what's funnier? A giant douche or a turd sandwich?
(巨型灌肠器) (Giant douche.)
你选那个是因为 我上星期打断了你猫的脚 Aw, you're just saying that because I broke your cat's leg last week.
Stan 你选巨型灌肠器还是便便三文治? Stan, do you pick giant douche or turd sandwich?
兄弟 我真的不在乎 Dude, I really don't care.
那就是二比一 因为Stan不在乎 所以是巨型灌肠器 That's two against one, 'cause Stan doesn't care. So it's giant douche.
等等 那Butters呢? ...Wait wait, what about Butters?
你讨厌Butters You hate Butters.
去你的 Butters是我们的朋友!他有权发表意见! Goddamnit you guys, Butters is our friend! And he's allowed to have his opinion!
Butters 哪个更好玩?又傻又无聊的巨型灌肠器 Butters which is funnier? A stupid not-funny giant douche
还是超级有趣的便便三文治? or a super funny turd sandwich?
哈哈哈 便便三文治! Hahaa, a turd sandwich!
你误导他 死胖子! You misled him, fat ass!
这是最佳选择 我和Butters都坚持 It's the best choice, and me and Butters are sticking with it.
对! ...坚持什么? Yeah!... What's this for?
Jimmy 我们要让大家选个 真正有趣的吉祥物 Jimmy, we're gonna have everyone write in a mascot that's really funny,
你得告诉我们那个更有趣 and you have to tell us which one would be funnier..
那是个...绝妙的主意 伙计们 顶级幽默的关键 That"s a... fantastic idea fellas. Uh, the key to successful
就在于...持久性 跟我说说 第一个吉祥物是什么 humor is s - staying power. Uh tell me the first mascot idea.
巨型灌肠器 A giant douche.
好吧 那很有意思 第二个呢? Heh, huh okay, that's pretty funny. Now, what's the second?
便便三文治 A turd sandwich.
呵呵 好了 现在等10秒钟 Turhr... Ohokahay. Okay, now let's wait ten seconds.
现在 再说一次第一个吉祥物? Okay now, t-tell me the first one again?
巨型灌肠器 Giant douche.
第二个呢? And the second?
便便三文治 Turd sandwich.
呵 呵呵 老天 这两个都超有趣的 伙计们 Gee, th-they're both screamingly funny, fellas
最好再等个10秒钟 Uhhhbetter give it another ten seconds.
好 现在看看哪个有真正的持久性 一号? All right, now we'll see which one really has staying power. Number one?
巨型灌肠器 A giant douche.
好的 那不错 二号呢? Okay, I think, that's it. Number 2?
便便三文治 Turd sandwich.
老天 我都不知道说什么好了 伙计们 这两个都非常的经典 Gee, I don't know what to say, fellas. They're both instant classics.
不过我想我会选巨型灌肠器 But I guess I'll have to go with giant douche,
因为巨型更凸显出它的没用 simply because the fact that it's a giant renders it useless,
倍增讽刺意味 adding a parody slant to the satire.
啊! AWWWW!
噢 我们输了? Ohhh, we lost?
好了 就这么定了 大家都写上"巨型灌肠器" All right, it's decided. Let's all write in "Giant Douche. "
好吧 你赢了 Kyle Okay. You win, Kyle.
同学们注意了 我们统计了你们的吉祥物提名 Attention students, we have tallied your mascot nomination sheets,
我们将进行全校性的投票 在两个最受欢迎的候选中做出决定 and there will now be a school-wide vote between the top two nominations.
有请第一个最受欢迎的吉祥物 巨型灌肠器 So here is the first most-requested candidate, a giant douche.
加油 巨型灌肠器! Go giant douche!
嘿 南方公园!我们学校精神呢? Hey, South Park! Have we got school spirit?
我们有学校精神 我们有!巨型灌肠器(大傻冒) 就是我和你！加油...灌肠器(傻冒们)！ We've got spirit, yes we do! Giant douches me and you! Let's gooooo, Douches!
现在 有请第二个候选吉祥物 便便三文治 And now your second nominee, Turd Sandwich.
太棒啦 便便三文治! All right turd sandwich!
Yeah!
Cartman 搞什么鬼? Cartman? What the hell?
巨型灌肠器逊毙了! Giant Douche sucks!
我们有学校精神 我们有!我们是夹满便便的三文治! We've got spirit, yes we do! We are sandwiches filled with poo! Yeeaahhh!
同学们现在可以在巨型灌肠器 和便便三文治中做出选择 Students can now cast their choice between the Giant Douche and the Turd Sandwich.
我们将在周二统计选票 We'll count up the votes on Tuesday.
你赢不了我们的 混蛋! You won't get more votes than us, asshole!
等着瞧吧 犹太小子! Dream on, Jew boy!
没错 等着瞧 犹太小子! Yeah, dream on, Jew boy!
要为巨型灌肠器投一票哦 Be sure to vote for Giant Douche.
(巨型灌肠器! 投他一票!) (Giant Douche! Vote for him!)
巨型灌肠器是你的忠实朋友! Giant Douche is your man!
Kyle 你是不是点玩过头了? Kyle, aren't you taking this a little too far? I mean, do
我是说 我们真希望巨型灌肠器 做我们的学校吉祥物吗? we really want a giant douche to be our school mascot?
兄弟 我可不想输给Cartman 那傻了吧唧的便便三文治 Dude, I'm not going to lose to Cartman's stupid turd sandwich.
投便便三文治一票! Vote for Turd Sandwich. This is the most important election of our lives.
这是你生命中最重要的一次选举
便便三文治带来改变的希望 Turd Sandwich brings us hope for change. A vote
选择便便三文治 就是选择未来! for Turd Sandwich is a Vote for Tomorrow!
你看 你想让那个混蛋死胖子赢吗? There. Do you really want that asshole to win?
我不会投票的! I'm not voting!
啥? 你得投票 兄弟 你难道没见过"摇滚投票" What? Y-you gotta vote, dude. Haven't you seen the Rock
或是... (致力于动员年轻选民投票的组织)吹牛老爹的"不投票就要死"吗? the Vote stuff or, or Puff Daddy's Vote or Die?
我只是觉得整件事无聊透顶! I just think this whole thing is stupid!
因为他一定会投我们一票的 of voting, because he'll definitely vote for our guy.
(对!) (Yeah.)
今天在学校还好吗 Stanley? How was school today, Stanley?
荒唐得很 我们得选个新的学校吉祥物 It was ridiculous. We have to have a new school mascot
只能在巨型灌肠器和便便三文治中选 and we're supposed to vote between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.
你刚说什么? ...What did you say?
你刚是不是说...投票很荒唐? Did you just say that... voting is ridiculous?
不 我觉得投票很重要 No, I think voting is great, but, if I have to choose between
可要我在灌肠器或是大便中选择 我不明白意义何在 a douche and a turd, I just don't see the point.
你不明白意义何在! 噢 你们这些年轻人真气死我了! You don't see the point! Oh you young people just make me sick!
Stanley 你知道多少人的牺牲 才换来你今天投票的权力吗? Stanley, do you know how many people died so you could have the right to vote?!
妈妈 我就觉得灌肠器和大便 Mom, a-I just don't think there's much of a difference
没啥区别 我不在乎 between a douche and a turd. I d-I don't care.
你不在乎?!你真想要便便三文治做你的 You don't care?! You really want a turd sandwich as your
学校吉祥物吗?印在足球头盔上? 一陀大便? school mascot?! On your football helmets?! A turd?!
等等 Randy 要印在校服上的话 Well, hold on, Randy, I think a turd sandwich is a little
我觉得便便三文治比巨型灌肠器好点 better than them having a giant douche on their uniforms.
你疯了吗! 灌肠器至少还算干净 You're crazy! A d-a douche is at least clean!
你就是个男权主义者! It's sexist is what it is!
你都搞不清楚状况 Sharon! You don't understand the issues, Sharon!
你说我无知吗? Are you calling me ignorant?
你觉得学校吉祥物该是便便三文治 你又不是爱因斯坦(你懂个屁)! You think the school mascot should be a turd sandwich? Well you're not exactly Einstein!
我受够你蔑视我的的想法了 你个狗娘养的! I am sick of you belittling my opinion, you son of a bitch!
我恨这个家 我恨死了! I hate this family, I hate it!
吹牛老爹? Puff Daddy?
你朋友Kyle告诉我 你不明白投票的重要性 Your friend Kyle said you don't understand the importance of voting.
我... I...
很明显你还没听说过我 "不投票就要死"的运动 Apparently you haven't heard of my "Vote or Die" campaign.
"不投票就要死"? "Vote or Die"?
那是什么鬼意思? What the hell does that even mean?!
你觉得那是什么意思 贱人! What you think it means, bitch!
AAAAH!
*不投票就要死 妈的 妈的 不投票就要死* Vote or die, mother mother_er, vote or die!
*快投票 不然我拿刀戳瞎你的眼* Rock the vote or else I'm gonna stick a knife through your eye.
*这简单规则就是民主的基础* Democracy is founded on one simple rule!
*快出来投票 不然我把你杀掉* Get out there and vote or I will mother kill you.
Yeh.
*我爱你投票的样子 婊子!* I like it when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)
*你投票的样子好风骚 婊子!* Shake them titties when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)
*我把我老二塞你嘴里* I slam my jimmy through your mouth roof (mouth roof)
*快给我滚到投票处* Now get your big ass in the pollin' booth.
*我说快投票 婊子 不然我TM宰了你!* I said vote, bitch, or I'll f_ kill you!
*不投票就要死 妈的 妈的 不投票就要死* Vote or die, mother_, mother_, vote or die!
*你跑不过子弹 不信试试看* You can't run from a. 38, go ahead and try!
*说出你的想法! 做出你的选择* Let your opinion be heard! You gotta make a choice
*不然等我划破你喉咙 就为时已晚* 'Cause after I slit your throat you won't have a f_ voice
*要投票还是死? 要投票还是死?* 'Vote or die! Vote or die!
好啦 我投票 Okay. I'll vote.
你好啊 Clyde Hello, Clyde.
你们想怎样? What do you guys want?
我们只是想知道 学校的吉祥物选举 你会投谁一票 We were just wondering who you might be voting for, for the school's new mascot.
我还没决定好 I haven't decided yet.
真的吗? 真有意思 Oh really? Well that's interesting. You certainly should
你真得好好想想 做出正确的抉择 think about it and make the right decision.
来颗咸味奶油糖? Butterscotch candy?
好啊 Sure.
Clyd 你知道便便三文治将会 为学校带来什么吗? Clyde, are you aware of what Turd Sandwich can bring to our school?
便便三文治不仅仅是第一陀 被提名为学校吉祥物的大便 A turd sandwich is not only the first turd to be nominated
还是第一块三文治呢 school mascot, but even the first, sandwich.
你瞧 便便三文治为学校带来的 Clyde 是一个完整的套餐 You see, what Turd Sandwich brings to our school, Clyde, is a complete package.
有大便 面包 生菜 还有橄榄 可是呢 巨型灌肠器不过是... The turd and the coin. And the lettuce, and the olives.
不过...是个巨型灌肠器罢了 Whe-whereas Giant Douche is just, well ju-just a, ju-ju-just a giant douche.
所以投票那天 你会投便便三文治一票吧? So, come voting day, you'll now most likely vote for the turd sandwich, yes?
我还是没完全拿定主意 I'm still not totally sure.
这样的话 或许这个能让你感兴趣... Well then, perhaps we could interest you in
再来块咸味奶油糖? another butterscotch candy?
你做的是对的 Stan You're doing the right thing, Stan. Don't you
你不觉得自己现在很有参与感吗? eel like you're a part of something now?
我想是吧... I guess...
听着 这现在也许看似无关紧要 Look, it may not seem important now, but your vote
但你的投票确实是有用的 我们都要做好自己的分内事 really does count, and we all have to do our part.
好吧 Okay.
哦 等等 你在干嘛? Look... wait, what are you doing?
我在投票 I'm voting.
不 不 你...你写的是便便三文治 No, no, you... you wrote down Turd Sandwich.
对 我知道 Yeah, I know.
兄弟 你该投给巨型灌肠器的 ...Dude, you're supposed to vote for Giant Douche.
我以为我该自己做决定的 I thoght I was supposed to make my own decision.
是的 可你不该选便便三文治啊 Well yeah, but not if your decision is for Turd
你出了什么鬼毛病啊 Sandwich! What the hell is wrong with you?!
等等 你不是想我来投票 你是想我投票给你那边! Wait a minute, you didn't want me to vote you wanted me to vote for your guy!
我只是以为你会投给我这边!你TM是谁的朋友啊? Well, I just figured you'd vote for my guy! Who's fuckin' friend are you?!
吹牛老爹 Puffy!
!嘿 滚一边去 Kyle Hey, fuck off, Kyle.
别屈服于他的淫威 Stan 我护送你去投票 Don't let them intimidate you, Stan. I'll help walk you to the booth.
待会请你吃一顿超赞的牛排餐 加上各种配料 And then I'm gonna buy you a niiice steak dinner with all the trimmings.
噢 算了吧! 如果我不愿意 Oh forget it! I'm not gonna be persuaded into voting
我不会因为利诱或是威胁 and I'm and I'm not gonna be threatened into voting
去投票的! if I don't feel comfortable with it!
我不会投票的 你们接受事实吧! I'm not gonna vote and you can all just live with it!
我们真受不了你们儿子了 Marsh先生太太 We've simply had it with your son, Mr. and Mrs. Marsh
看来投票对他一点也不重要 Voting just doesn't appear to be important to 'im.
Stanley 今早出门上学的时候 Stanley, when you left for school this morning
你说过你会投票的! you said you were going to vote!
这整件事是个笑话! The whole thing is a joke!
看到没? 他失去控制了 这事差点把我们家拆散了 You see? He's out of control. It's nearly torn our whole family apart.
那我也无能为力了 我们不能让Stan的行为 Well, my hands are tied. We can no longer have Stan's behavior
毒害其他孩子 他必须离开 jeopardizing the other children. He must be removed.
你现在高兴了 Stan? 你害自己停学了 Ogh! Are you happy now, Stan? You just got yourself suspended!
不 恐怕他的惩罚比这更重 Nno, I'm afraid it's worse than that. By county law I'm
根据小镇法规 我得执行最严厉的处罚 bound to enforce the harshest punishment possible.
开除? Expulsion?
不 是放逐 No. Banishment.
放...放逐? B- bani-banishment?
你可以向市法院申诉 不过估计没什么用 You can appeal to the city council, but I don't think it'll do
你们儿子必须离开南方公园 永不归来 any good. Your son must leave South Park, never to return.
噢 Randy! Oh, Randy!
我们的儿子...被放逐了 我们做错了什么? Our son, banished. Where did we go wrong?
你...你们在开玩笑 对吧? Ya... you're all joking, right?
从我们祖辈开始便是如此 现在也一样 As it was in the times of our forefathers, so it is now.
Stan Marsh 因亵渎了我们最神圣的仪式 Stan Marsh, for not following our most sacred of rites,
你被南方公园永远驱逐了 you are hereby banished from South Park for all eternity.
除非你愿意承认投票的重要性 Or until you decide that voting is important.
再见 Stan 愿主比我们善待你 Good-bye, Stan. May the gods treat you more kindly than we did.
Stan 你觉得这样还不够吗? 真有这么了不得吗? Stan, don't you think this has gone far enough? Is it really that big a deal?
没错 就投个票嘛 投给巨型灌肠器 Yeah, just vote. For Giant Douche.
我不会投票的! I'm not voting!
不 吹牛老爹 我们就由他这样吗? You, Puffy man, are we just gonna let this happen?
我们得杀了这个不肯投票的傻子! We've gots to kill this non-votin' fool!
不 Justacious 随他吧 他在野外熬不过两星期的 No, Justacious, let him go. He won't survive a fortnight in the wilderness.
你伤透了妈妈的心 Stan 她都没法帮忙把你绑在马背上 This is breaking your mother's heart, Stan. She couldn't even help tie you to the horse.
爸 这是不是太极端了? Dad, isn't this a little extreme?
主啊 我想或许你永远都不会明白 投票是多么重要 Jesus. I guess maybe you'll never understand how important voting is.
再见 儿子 Goodbye, Stan.
这是...父母必须做的最残忍的事之一 That's... one of the hardest things a parent ever has to do.
看! 那是什么? Look! What is that?
噢 太可怜了! Oh, the poor thing!
有人吗? Hello?
别担心 我们来救你 Don't worry, we'll free you.
坐着别动就好了 Just sit still for a moment.
噢 谢天谢地 Oh thank God.
滚开 你这个肮脏的人类 Get offa him, you filthy human!
可怜的小东西需要喝水 Poor thing needs water.
你现在安全了 You'er safe now.
你真无耻 这样奴役这匹马 Shame on you, making this horse your slave.
Awww!
来吧 你可以和我们一起生活 Come, you can live with us.
我们会给你食物和住处 We will give you food and shelter.
那我呢? What about me?
把门打开! OPEN THE GATE!
这可怜的小东西需要食物和水 This poor creature is in need of food and water.
这儿就是你的家 朋友 You have a home here, friend.
这...孩子也想留下来 The... kid wants to stay, too.
我是被绑上马的 我不想骑它的 I was put on the horse. I didn't wanna ride it.
我不知道你能否留下 得请示Cornwallis博士 来吧 I don't know if you can stay. We'll have to ask Dr. Cornwallis. Come.
我们通常不留外人的 看 在这我们和动物们和谐共处 We don't normally allow outsiders. See, here we live in harmony with animals.
他们不是我们的宠物 而是生活伴侣 They're not our pets but our fellow living beings.
我们和动物们共同劳动 并试着以它们的方式生活 We work with the animals and try to live as they do.
我们和动物们交朋友 我们共存 我们还...通婚 We make friends with the animals. We coexist, and we... intermarry.
这是我的妻子 Janice This is my wife, Janice.
外面的俗人看不起娶骆驼的人 The outside world looks down on a man marrying
但我们的爱没有界限 a llama, but our love knows no boundaries.
哇 你们真的很爱动物 Wow, you guys really love animals.
为什么不呢?Mark和Kelly一起已经三年了 And why not? Mark here has been with Kelly for three years now.
Gary和Sally刚刚生了个孩子 And Gary and Sally here have just managed to have a child together.
杀了我吧... Kill me...
是的 这里的生活很快乐 很自然 Yes, life here is good and natural.
现在你已经知道了我们大本营的所在 But now that you know where our compound is,
你要么和我们一起生活 要么就死 you'll either have to live with us, or be murdered.
我和你们一起生活 I'll live with you.
这由不得你 你得和Cornwallis博士谈 It's not up to you. You'll have to talk with Dr. Cornwallis.
他说什么? What did he say?
他说我能留下 He said I can stay.
太好了 Cornwallis博士太明智了! Excellent! Dr. Cornwallis is wise beyond his year
这是你的PETA T恤衫 还有保险杆贴纸 Here's your PETA shirt and a bumper sticker.
辩论 2004 Debate 2004]
这里是2004年度的竞选辩论 主持人是Jim Lehrer This is Debate 2004 with your host, Jim Lehrer.
欢迎收看巨型灌肠器和便便三文治 Welcome to the cable-access televised debate between a giant douche
选举辩论的电视直播 and a turd sandwich.
我们从巨型灌肠器开始 We'll start with Giant Douche.
先生 某些学生和家长都不愿 用巨型灌肠器代表他们 Sir, some students and parents are reluctant to have a... giant douche represent them.
你将会怎么说服他们? What do you say to those people?
Jim 首先我要感谢你主持这场辩论 Jim, first of all I would like to thank you for monitoring this debate.
我还要感谢所有学生和家长的参与 And I would like to thank all of the students and their parents for coming.
噢 烂呐 超烂! Aww, suck-up, suck-up!
干嘛? 这显然很烂嘛 What?! It's an obvious suck-up move.
但我希望那些质疑我的能力的 学生和家长们 But I would hope that those students and their parents
看一眼我的对手 who question my qualities would simply look at my opponent.
他是块便便三文治 He is a turd sandwich.
你是便便三文治 You're a turd sandwich.
不 先生 请原谅 你才是便便三文治 ...No, sir, if you'll pardon me, you are in fact, the turd sandwich.
你是便便三文治 You're a turd sandwich.
先生 你是便便三文治 ...Sir, you are a turd sandwich.
你是块便便三文治 You're a turd sandwich.
呃 便便三文治 请按顺序发言 Ahh, Turd Sandwich, I will ask you not to speak out of turn.
我很抱歉 Jim I I'm sorry, Jim.
怎样都好 如我所言 呃...等等 我 我忘了自己在说啥了 Anyway, as I was saying, ahh... wait I I forgot what I was saying.
哈 真是个灌肠器(傻冒) Ha. Wha-hat a douche.
好吧 便便三文治 下个问题是问你的 All right, Turd Sandwich, this next question is for you.
南方公园小学该采取什么措施 How should South Park Elementaryenforce its laws
来引导年轻运动员正确比赛? of conduct for young athletes during sporting events.
嗯 那个嘛...呃 我的对手肯定 ...Uh you know, uh, my opponent wouldn't even
回答不了这个问题 know the answer to that question.
如果你问他同样的问题 他答不出来的 If you ask him the same question, he would not answer it.
他只会呆站着 胡言乱语 不知所云 He would stand around and just babble on and on about nothing
等着最后计时的蜂鸣器救他 until he was finally saved by the buzzer sound.
你的时间到了 便便 Your time is up, Turd.
Stan 我想介绍你认识我的继女Teresa Stan, I want to introduce you to my stepdaughter, Teresa.
她似乎挺喜欢你的 She seems to have taken a liking to you.
而且她正在排卵呢 And she's ovulating.
呃 不用了 谢谢 我很好 Ahh no thanks, that's okay.
Stan 有些PETA成员已经开始怀疑 Stan, some PETA members are growing concerned
你或许并不爱动物 that maybe you don't love animals.
我爱动物的 只是...没你们那么爱而已 I do love animals, just ... nnot like you guys do.
你...不属于这里 Stan 你该回家去 You... don't belong here, Stan. You should return home.
我不能 我因为不愿投票被放逐了 I can't. I was banished for not voting.
可 你为什么不愿投票呢? But, why on earth wouldn't you wanna vote?
我觉得投票很重要 但我这次不在乎 I think voting is great. I just didn't care this time because
因为只能选巨型灌肠器或便便三文治 it was between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.
但是Stan 你不知道吗? But Stan, don't you know, it's always between
从来都是巨型灌肠器和便便三文治 a giant douche and a turd sandwich.
自始以来 几乎每一次选举都是 Nearly every election since the beginning of
在灌肠器和大便之间的选择 time has been between some douche and some turd.
只有他们能有脸拍马屁爬到政坛顶峰 They're the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics.
我想...我想你是对的 I guess... I guess you're right.
我跟你说过你会有什么下场吧 贱人? Yo, what did I say was going to happen to you, bitch?
AAAAAH!
啊! 他穿着动物的皮毛! Aaaah! He's wearing the skin of an animal!
接招! Take that!
我...我希望你得到了教训 别再穿动物皮毛 I... hope that teaches you a lesson about being hurt.
Itius Rodicus!
不投票就要死! Vote or die!
AAAAH!
保护动物! 保护动物! Protect the animals! Protect the animals!
Janice 不求同日生 但求同日死! Janice, we shall die together in each other's arms!
杀了我吧! 杀了我! Kill me! Kill meee!
好的 便便三文治又一票 M'kay, that's one more vote for Turd Sandwich.
那谁赢了啊 Mackey先生? So who won, Mr. Mackey?
票数很接近 但看来巨型灌肠器要赢了 It's pretty close, but it looks like Giant Douche is gonna win.
噢不! 不! Oh no! NOOO!
哈! 你输了 死胖子! HA! You lose, fatass!
嘿 等一下 瞧啊! Uh hey, wait a minute, look!
Stan!
Stan 你回来了 是不是...你明白了投票的重要性? Stan, you came back. Does that mean... you learned the importance of voting?
我明白了我得习惯在灌肠器 和便便三文治中做出选择 I learned that I'd better get used to having to pick between a douche
因为那通常会是我仅有的选择 and a turd sandwich because it's usually the choice I'll have.
他要投票了! He's going to vote!
他要投票了 他要投票了 He's going to vote. He's going to vote.
*让我们投出一票 让我们喊出心声* Let's get out the vote! Let's make our voices heard!
*我们被赋予权力选择 灌肠器或是便便* We've been given the right to choose between a douche and a turd.
*这是民主在发扬 感受你的自由* It's democracy in action! Put your freedom to the test.
*肥大的便便或是SB灌肠器 你最喜欢哪个?* A big fat turd or a stupid douche. Which do you like best?
Stan的一票使便便三文治 的总票数达到...36! Stan's vote bring the total votes for Turd Sandwich to... thirty six!
巨型灌肠器得到了...1410票 And Giant Douche has... one thousand four hundred
巨型灌肠器依然是赢家！ and ten. Giant Douche still wins.
耶 好啊 Yeah! All right!
AWWWW!
伙计 所以我那一票还是无关紧要! Dude, so my vote didn't even really matter!
嘿 话不能这么说 Stan Hey! That's not true, Stan.
你不能由你支持的候选人的成败 来评判选举的好坏 You can't judge the merits of voting on whether or not your candidate won.
你的一票依然有用 Your vote still mattered.
嘿 大家好! Hey everybody!
有人发现所有的PETA成员 在他们的大本营被杀了! They just found all the PETA members murdered at their compound!
什么? 他们全死了? 那意味着... What the? They're all dead? Well, that means...
我们可以接着用南方公园奶牛了! That we can go back to being the South Park Cows!
好啊！ Hooray! All right!
现在 你那一票真的无关紧要了 Now, your vote didn't matter.
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