-=伊甸园美剧http://sfile.ydy.com=- 荣誉出品 本字幕仅供学习交流，严禁用于商业途径
-=YTET-伊甸园字幕组=- 翻译: 招财喵喵 校对: 弗来 时间轴: 招财喵喵
*欢迎来到南方公园 享受好时光* ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
*到处都是友好的脸* ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
*淳朴的居民乐天知命* ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
*来到南方公园 可不要大惊小怪* ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
*大车小车随便停* ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
*人人喊着 "邻居你好!"* ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
*到了南方公园 看你感觉多自然* ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
*(你要听得清我说话 算你最厉害!)* ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
*快来南方公园 让你笑口常开* ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
南方公园 第7季 第4集 停播 iTunes版本调教：Tears 双语合成 Lv&daisy
上学日 读书天 凡事老师说了算 School days, school days Teacher's golden rule days
我的操蛋弟弟又要跟我去学校 My goddamn brother is trying to follow me to school again.
我就要跟 - 不行 Ike - Suck my balls. - No, Ike,
你不能跟我去学校! - 没错 滚回家去 小鸡巴! - you can't come to school with me. - Yeah, go home, you little dildo.
老兄 最后一次警告你 不许叫我弟小鸡巴! Dude, for the last time, don't call my brother a dildo.
那好 滚回家去 你这个乳臭未干的小白痴 All right, go home, you little semen-puking asshole dickhead.
兄弟 漂亮! - 当然 你们瞧好啦 准备喔 Ike? - Dude, sweet. - Yeah, check it out. Ready, Ike?
踢宝宝啦! - 别踢可怜的宝宝 - Kick the baby. - Don't kick the goddamn baby.
我踢! Kick the baby.
喔 Cartman 看来你昨晚没睡好 Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't get much sleep last night.
那是因为昨晚我一直在做恶梦 That's because I was having these bogus nightmares all night long.
真的吗? 什么梦? Really? What about?
我梦见自己躺在床上 周围一片漆黑... Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed, in the dark,
突然 一束刺眼的蓝光 射进我的房间 when all of a sudden, this bright blue light filled the room.
然后 我香闺的门被缓缓推开了 And slowly, my bedroom door began to open,
接着 我只记得...一群人拖着我经过走廊! and the next thing I remember, I was being drug through a hallway.
WEEEE!
那些可怕的外星人还给我动手术! Then these scary aliens wanted to operate on me.
他们长着大脑袋 大黑眼睛... They had big heads and big black eyes.
- 老兄 那是外星人! - 绝对没错! - Dude, Visitors. - Totally!
什么? - 这不是梦 Cartman - What? - That wasn't a dream, Cartman.
他们是外星人! - 不 这只是梦 - Those were Visitors. - No, it was just a dream.
我妈也这么说 - 真的有外星人哎! 他们... - My mom said so. - Visitors are real. They...
等等 这一切都曾经发生过 Wait a minute. This has all happened before.
是啊 的确似曾相识 Yeah. This does seem really familiar.
你们俩说的什么鬼话? What the Funk & Wagnalls are you talking about?
Cartman 你难道忘了 上回你也做过这样的梦吗? Cartman, don't you remember the last time you had this dream?
你俩闭嘴 你们在吓唬我 Shut up, you guys, you're just trying to scare me.
不 伙计 这事以前发生过! 外星人给你植入了某种装置 No, dude, this happened before. Aliens put some device in you,
我们把你绑在一棵树上 接着你上了他们的飞船 then we tied you up to a tree, and you went on their ship.
你不记得了吗? You don't remember that?
不 我当然不记得! - 你不记得? - No, I don't remember that. - You don't?
不 因为外星人移除了我记忆! No, because the aliens erased my memory.
我记得这整件事 Ike想跟你去学校 I remember this whole thing. Ike tried to follow you to school,
你踢飞了他 接着Cartman说他梦到了外星人 you kicked him, then Cartman told us about his alien dream.
没错 然后大厨把车停在了这儿 Yeah, and then Chef pulled up in his car.
好啊 孩子们! Hello, there, children.
然后你说... And then you said...
今天午餐吃什么 大厨? "What's gonna be for lunch today, Chef?"
今天有索斯伯牛肉饼 淋上热腾腾的黄油面条 Well, today it's Salisbury steak with hot buttered noodles
还有绿豆沙拉和什锦蔬菜 and a choice of green bean salad
太诡异了 or vegetable medley.
嘿 你们昨晚有没有... - Weird. - Say, did any of you children
看见外星人的太空飞船? - see the alien... - See the alien spaceship last night?
搞什么飞机? What the...
大厨 历史在重演! - 历史重演? - Chef, we're in a repeat. - A repeat?
Cartman昨晚又被外星人绑架了 Cartman was visited by aliens again last night.
现在 我们就好像 在重复过去某天的事 And now it's like we're living a repeat of a previous day.
哦 见鬼 我恨重复 Oh, dude, I hate repeats.
我一早上都有种 时光倒流的感觉 孩子 I've been feeling déjà vu all morning, children.
我就知道一定有问题 I knew something strange was going on.
这都怪Cartman屁眼里的探测器 It all started when Cartman got an anal probe.
我们马上送Eric去看肛门科专家 We have to get Eric to a proctologist right away.
肛门科医生是干嘛的 大厨? What is a proctologist, Chef?
他是专门治屁眼病的医生 孩子 He's a doctor that specialises in your asshole, children.
你是说 有医生乐意一辈子 You mean at some point in this doctor's life,
对着人们的屁眼工作? he decided he wanted to work on people's buttholes?
差不多 - 真是个神经病 - That's right. - What a dick.
大家好啊 - 你好 医生 - Hello, everyone. - Hello, Doctor.
感谢你及时赶来给Eric看病 Thanks for seeing Eric on such short notice.
他出了什么事? What seems to be the problem?
我们只想让你检查看看 看他有没有什么不正常 We just want you to take a look and tell us if you see anything abnormal.
屁眼太大不算 - 闭嘴! 闭上你TM的臭嘴!! - Other than its monstrous size. - Shut up! Shut your goddamn mouth!
好吧 让我看看 All right, let's see here.
我的老天爷! - 干嘛? - Oh, my God. - What?
正中央有一坨超大的便便! Why there's a huge crack going right down the middle.
哈 哈 很有趣 Ha, ha, very funny.
这笑话听得耳朵都长老茧了 Yeah, like we haven't heard that one a zillion times.
好吧 我来检查一下 All right, let's take a look.
嘿 你他娘的在干嘛? Hey, just what the hell do you think you're doing?
Eric 医生在给你检查直肠 Eric, the doctor has to feel inside your rectum.
等检查完了... 他说不定会烧了那只手埋掉 And afterwards, he'll probably have to burn his hand and bury it.
Kyle 要不是这家伙的手指 正塞在我屁眼里 Kyle, I swear if I didn't have a guy's hand up my ass right now,
我一定降龙十巴掌拍死你 I'd leap across the room and kick you in the nuts.
前列腺一切正常 Well, the prostate seems to be normal.
没有肿大的迹象 等等 这啥玩意儿? No swelling of the haemorrhoidal gland. Wait, what's this?
你没事吧? - 老兄 - Are you okay? - Dude.
你有过一泻千里的感觉吗? You know that feeling when you take a huge dump?
太爽啦 - 你咋看 医生? - Awesome. - Well, Doctor?
这场面我从来没见过 I've never quite seen this before.
也许涂点痔疮药膏就好了 Perhaps he just needs some haemorrhoid cream.
你还好吧? - 你知道刚拉出来的大便 - You all right? - You know that feeling
被硬塞回屁眼的感觉吗? when the huge dump you just took shoots back up inside your ass?
不 我很不好!! No, I'm not all right!
我从没见过这样的痔疮 I've never seen a haemorrhoid react this way.
那才不是什么痔疮 那是外星人搞的鬼! That wasn't no haemorrhoid. It was an alien hoopajoo.
快走 孩子们 我们去找真正能帮Eric的人! Come on, children, we've got to get Eric to some real help.
现在去哪儿 大厨? - 卡在Eric屁眼里的东西 - Where to now, Chef? - That thing inside Eric's asshole
看上去像是外星人造卫星 looked like some kind of alien satellite dish.
我们现在去 找我太空中心的朋友帮忙! We need to see my friend down at the space centre, now.
你是我认识的 And you're the only person I could think of
唯一有可能 帮到我们的人 Jeff - 我怎么...嗯 让它出来? - who might be able to help us, Jeff. - How do we make it come out?
只要学肛门科医生的样子 Someone just has to activate it like the proctologist did.
哦 不 不 不 不! 不许任何人再拿手指鼓捣我屁眼! Oh, no, no, no. Nobody is putting their finger in my ass again.
除非是Kyle - 什么? 做梦! 你来 Kenny - Unless it's Kyle. - What? No way. You do it, Kenny.
不行 必须是Kyle - 去吧 - No, it has to be Kyle. - Go on.
我才不要用手指碰Cartman的烂屁股! I'm not putting my finger up Cartman's butt.
Kyle 世界和平全指望你了 Kyle, the fate of the world may be at stake.
来吧 Kyle 等你唷 Come, Kyle, do hurry.
来呀 它不咬人 Go ahead, it won't bite.
去死 Cartman! - 人家忍不住嘛 对不起啦 - God damn it, Cartman! - I couldn't resist. I'm sorry.
别闹了 Cartman! - 好吧 好吧 - Stop it, Cartman. - Okay, okay, okay.
你要死啊! - 老天 太好玩啦 - God damn it. - Oh, man, that was great.
好了 来吧 我的屁全放完了 Okay, go ahead, I'm all out of farts now.
才怪!
好吧 好吧 玩太多遍就没意思了 Okay, okay, it's not funny any more.
喔 屁来喽! Yes, it is.
Eric 不要再闹了! - 好吧 好吧 - Eric, that's enough. - Okay, okay.
喔 双黄屁! Double psyche.
到此为止! 我才不管什么世界和平 That's it! I don't care about the fate of the world.
见鬼去吧! - 都你干的好事 Cartman! - Screw it. - Nice going, Cartman.
好啦 好啦 是我不对 All right, all right, I'm sorry.
你继续吧 Kyle - 不! - Go ahead, Kyle. - No!
不 你来吧 我放完了 - 你在撒谎! - No, go ahead, I'm dry. - You're lying.
四十秒之前就已经不好笑了 小子 It stopped being funny 40 seconds ago, boys.
咱们快点了结这事吧 Let's just get this over with.
但这是我一生最美妙的时光 But it was one of the best times I've ever had.
能让我看看那东西吗? - 好吧 - Can I see this thing, please? - Okay.
好吧 - 的确很好笑 - Oh, God damn it. - Okay, now it's funny again.
简直爽歪歪! This is so awesome.
我觉得自己出了肛门科 I don't think I made it out of that proctologist's office, guys.
直接进了天堂 伙计们 - 我受够了! 看招! - I think I died and went to heaven. - That does it. Charge!
这东西在干嘛? What's it doing?
它好像在发送某种讯号 It's sending a transmission of some kind.
有了 Got it.
只不过是些城市和人物的图像 It's just sending images of cities and people and stuff.
信号被送往哪里啊? Where is the signal is being sent to?
我不想再玩了 伙计们 I don't wanna play any more, you guys.
我们费尽周折 只看到些无趣的地球录影? We went through all that just for some gay video of Earth?
我们想看外星球啥的! We wanted to see an alien planet or something.
无论他们是谁 如果他们接收信号 Whoever they are, if they're receiving messages
他们也可能会发送信号 等一下 they might be sending them, too. Wait a minute.
棒棒糖! - 棒棒糖? - Candy bars. - Candy bars?
要知道 棒棒糖 通常都有外包装 You know, candy bars, they usually come in a wrapper,
就好像你们包装圣诞礼物 just like you wrap a Christmas present.
圣诞时节总是很冷 Christmas happens when it's cold,
就像阿拉斯加那么冷 那里有北极熊 北极熊... cold as in Alaska, that's where the polar bears, polar bears...
极性! 我可以通过转换极性 Polarity! I can switch the polarity, to see
查出信号发源地以及被送往何处! what transmissions are coming from the location this one is being sent to.
咋回事? What the heck?
他们要闯进来了! They're coming in!
我们怎么办? - 那家伙才是你们要找的人! - What do we do? - It's that guy you want.
他正打算颠倒你们的极性! - 啥? - He's trying to reverse your polarities. - What?
逃啊! - 上车 孩子们 快上车! - Run, run, run! - Get in the car, children, get in the car!
那是什么? - 能看清究竟吗 孩子? - What is that? - Can you see anything, children?
外星人在追我们! The aliens are chasing us.
该死的外星人! God damn aliens!
大厨 前面没路了! Chef, end of the road.
抓紧了 孩子们 咱得甩掉他们! Hold on, children, we have to ditch them.
你要干嘛 老兄? What are you doing, man?
(
画外音) 看来他们是想呼吸新鲜空气 Looks like them boys are getting a little fresh air.
我想我们甩掉他们了 I think we ditched them.
我看我们还没脱离危险 I don't think we're out of the woods, yet.
是警察! - 是就怪了! - It's the police. - That ain't no police.
咱们啥时候开饭呀 我饿 - 大厨! - When do we get to eat? I'm hungry. - Chef!
"停车"
(配乐: 李将军号角歌)
哈! 该死的外星人! 我赢了! God damn aliens, I beat you!
你们在哪儿学的开车 外星人? 华人驾校吗? Where'd you learn to drive, aliens? Chinese Auto School?
大厨 救命! - 大厨 他们抓到我们啦 - Chef, help! - Chef, they've got us.
你们该庆幸我没调头 You're lucky I didn't just turn around and beat
揍得你们落花流水 - 大厨 救命! - your white, skinny alien asses, anyway. - Chef, help.
下次 你们长点记性...啊? Maybe next time you'll remember to... Huh?
你爷爷的! 孩子! - 大厨!!! - Oh, crap. Children! - Chef!
(画外音) 看来这回他们惹的麻烦...比陷进糖浆的金甲虫还大 Well, it looks like the boys are in more trouble than a June bug in molasses.
而且糖浆多得淹死人 And it's pretty thick molasses, too.
伙计们 快醒醒! You guys, wake up.
怎么...我们在哪儿? - 我们在外星飞船里 - What the... Where are we? - We're in the alien ship.
啊 我被困在海伦·亨特的屁股里! (美国女星 得过奥斯卡最佳女主) 喔 上帝 快救我! I'm trapped inside Helen Hunt's ass. Oh, God, help me, you guys!
这不是海伦·亨特的屁股! 这是外星人的飞船 It's not Helen Hunt's ass. It's an alien spaceship.
喔 谢天谢地 喔 感谢玉皇大帝 Oh, thank God. Oh, thank... Thank you, Lord.
你们几个 快来瞧啊 You guys, look.
哇喔 - Wow. - Wow.
上帝啊 你们记得吗? Oh, my God, do you guys realise?
这是我们第二次来外太空 This is only the second time we've ever been in outer space.
是啊
太棒啦 Yeah.
我好像来第五次咧 This is like my fifth time.
这个一定是外星人老大 This must be the head alien guy.
喔不!
大家好啊 - 老爸? - Hello, boys. - Dad?
不 不算是 我只是读了你们的脑 No, not really. I just read your mind
觉得变成这模样 你们比较容易接受 and thought this form might be more pleasing to you.
喔 老兄 别这样 逊毙了 Dude, don't do that, that's gay.
没错 就像那部无聊电影"接触未来" Yeah, that's like that stupid movie Contact.
喔 上帝 那部电影让我火大 - 那好吧 我只好用本来面目了 - Oh, God, that movie pissed me off. - Very well, I shall show my true form.
行了 行了 变个别的样子! Okay, okay, take the form of something else.
这个怎么样? How's this?
圣诞老人! - 不要 还是很傻 - Santa! - No, that's stupid, too.
那这个怎么样? How about this?
不 No. - No.
不 - No. - No.
呼 蛮不错的 - 不 - Very nice. - No.
不 No.
有前途吧! Dy-no-mite!
不! - No. - No.
Jeff! 外星人开飞船把孩子绑走了! Jeff, the aliens took the children up on their ship!
喔不! - 你有没有查出 - Oh, no! - Did you find out
外星人的企图? - 我转换极性之后 - what the aliens are up to? - When I reversed the polarities,
发现了这个... I found this.
这是外星人的广播信号 It's a message that the aliens are broadcasting
遍布全宇宙 但我完全不懂它什么意思 throughout the entire universe, but I have no idea what it says.
他们抓走了孩子们 Jeff! They took the children, Jeff.
我必须找出外星人的真正目的! I have to know what those aliens are up to.
让我想想 肛交... - 肛交? - Wait a minute. Butt sex. - Butt sex?
肛交需要很多润滑剂 对吧? Butt sex requires a lot of lubrication, right?
润滑剂...润滑...天雨路滑... Lubrication... Chupacabras,
天雨路滑 请驾驶员小心驾驶 the goat killer of Mexican folklore. Folklore is stories from the past
不小心驾驶就成了马路杀手 that are often fictionalised, fictionalised to heighten drama.
不想当马路杀手 最好骑自行车 自行车! 自行车都是两个轮子 两就是二 二...二进制! Drama student! Students at colleges usually have bicycles... Binary.
这是二进制码! - 谁在肛交? - It's binary code! - Who's having butt sex?
Hello 我的甜心 Hello 我的宝贝 Hello 我亲爱的? Hello, my honey, hello, my baby hello, my ragtime gal
不! - No. - No.
对你爱 爱 爱不完? Let me search it, gonna work it You have to
不! - No. - No.
月亮代表我的心? Don't piss on the moon, babe
不! - No. - No.
好吧 地球小鬼 你们到底想让我变成啥样? All right, earthlings, what form do you want me to take?
不如变个能拉出冰淇泠的墨西哥卷? How about a taco that craps ice cream?
伙计们? - 我喜欢 - Guys? - I like it.
我也喜欢
太好了 总算能谈正事了 All right, then we can get back to business.
跟我来 地球小鬼 Follow me this way, earthlings.
我要向你们道歉 先前给你们造成了恐慌 I want to apologise to you boys for all the spooky, scary stuff.
我只是想修好故障的 卫星信号发送中转站 We just needed to get to the malfunctioning uplink relay.
你是指Cartman屁股里的玩意儿? - 是的 - You mean the thing in Cartman's ass? - That's right.
瞧 地球上五万多人的直肠里 装有这种装置 See, there are dishes in over 50,000 earthlings' rectums.
你朋友的那个坏了 Your friend's has been malfunctioning.
为什么要装在人的屁股里? Why do you put them into people's asses?
你们是不是打算入侵地球? Are you planning some kind of alien takeover?
喔 没那回事! 我们是一间制片公司 Oh, heaven's no, we're a production company.
我们制作星际电视节目 We make intergalactic television programmes
供全宇宙观看 that the whole universe watches.
电视? Television?
我们AT NERZOD制片公司 成立于两百亿年前 We at Nerzod Productions started 20 billion years ago
我们的宗指是: 最好的电视节目 不是编出来的 而是真实! with one philosophy, the best universal television isn't scripted, it's real.
我们成功的真人秀节目有 "谁想嫁给一只GELGAMEK?" We started with great shows, like Who Wants to Marry a Gelgamek?
"天蝎座六大百万富翁" 接着为我们再创收视高峰的是 And Antares 6 Millionaire. And then we had a big hit,
"让我离开 我是KLIGNANIAN" with Get me Outta Here, I'm a Klignanian.
当然 我们还有一档长盛不衰的节目 But then, of course, there's our signature show.
全宇宙有史以来最伟大的真人秀 The greatest universal reality show of all time.
地球? - 几十亿年前 我们突发奇想... - Earth? - A few billion years ago,
如果把全宇宙各个星球的物种 we realised, what if we took species from all different planets in the universe
放在同一个星球上会怎样? and put them together on the same planet?
很精彩的节目 对不对? 亚洲人 熊 鸭子 犹太人 鹿 还有拉丁美洲移民 Great TV, right? Asians, bears, ducks, Jews, deer and Hispanics
全都亲密无间地生活在 同一个星球! 这太伟大了! all trying to live side-by-side on one planet. It's great.
我们的星球只是一档大型真人秀? Our planet is just a reality TV show?
你不会以为 全宇宙都和地球一样吧 Well, you don't think the whole universe works the way Earth does, do you?
不! 一个星球只有一个物种 No. One species, one planet.
有鹿星球 亚洲人星球 等等 There's a planet of deer, a planet of Asians and so on.
我们把它们全放在地球上 We put them all together on Earth,
让全宇宙都来看热闹! and the whole universe tunes in to watch the fun.
你是说你们外星人 喜欢看我们 You mean that you aliens actually enjoy sitting around and watching us
自相残杀? 老兄 你们太无耻了 fight and kill each other? Dude, that's messed up.
为什么? - 为什么! - Why? - Why?
因为你们拿人命取乐! Because you're playing with people's lives.
你们把自己的快乐 建立在别人的痛苦上! You're turning people's problems into entertainment.
没错 我们地球人从来不这样! Yeah, we'd never do that on Earth.
女士们 先生们 我们最近截获了外星人的卫星信号 Ladies and gentlemen, we have recently come across
该信号传播范围遍布全宇宙 an alien transmission that is being beamed throughout the entire universe.
解码后 信号内容如下 When decoded, it looks like this.
什么意思啊? 这是简单的数学语言 - What does it mean? - It's simple mathematical language
是整个太阳系通用的 that can be understood throughout the solar system.
翻译成我们的语言后 是这样的 Translated into our language, it looks like this.
Janamon电视台 每晚八点 将播出大家最爱的节目 "地球"! This Janamon at 8:00, it's everyone's favourite show, Earth!
一百亿年前 It's been 100 galgamars since we first took species
我们把17颗星球的不同物种 送往同一颗星球! from 17 different planets and put them all together, on the same planet.
地球!
他们打仗 谈恋爱 They've fought and fallen in love,
接下来还有什么新鲜事呢? 每晚八点 锁定Janamon 自己来看吧! but what will happen this galgamar? Tune in Janamon at 8:00, to find out.
尽在"地球" Fognl出品! It's Earth! on FOGNL.
我恐怕地球 以及地球上的一切 I'm afraid that Earth, all of Earth,
只是银河系的大型真人秀 is nothing but an intergalactic reality TV show.
我的天啊 我们出名啦! My God. We're famous!
等等 你们有所不知 - 我上电视啦! 我上电视啦! - Wait, you don't understand. - I'm on TV, I'm on TV.
喔 太棒啦! This is so awesome.
这样设备应该能正常工作了 That should get the relay working again.
好了 地球小鬼 这边走 All right, earthlings, if you'll step over this way,
我们将消除你们的记忆 然后把你们送回地球 we'll erase your memories and get you back to Earth.
喔 稍等片刻
我是NAJIX Excuse me. This is Najix.
喔 不 喔 不 真的吗? Oh, no. Oh, no. Really?
你肯定吗? 好吧 我会转告大家 And it's for sure? All right, I'll break the news to everyone.
不 不 我能理解 谢谢 No, no, I understand. Thanks.
如果你们想回地球 请便吧 Well, you kids can go back to Earth if you want,
但我恐怕你们在那儿待不了多久了 节目停播了 but I'm afraid it won't be there for long. The show's been cancelled.
什么? 谁停播的? - 宇宙广电总局领导们 - What? Who cancelled us? - The universal network heads.
他们说 地球人发现自己上了电视 They say the earthlings have become aware of the show,
所以节目就没意思了 - 喔 靠 那是我们害的么? - so it won't be funny any more. - Oh... did we do that?
各位同仁 请听我说几句好吗? Everyone, can I have your attention real quick?
呃 我刚接到总局的来电 Look, I just got a call from the network,
恐怕"地球"要停播了 and I'm afraid Earth! Has been cancelled.
这是一个非常优秀的节目 我想我们应该为它自豪 Now, now, it was a great run, and I think we should all be really proud.
通知拆迁小组 拆除地球 回收资源 Let's call in the demolition crew to strike the Earth for resources.
等等 等等! 不能这么做! 让我们跟总局领导谈谈! Wait, wait, they can't do this. Let us talk to the network heads.
没用的 - 老兄 让我们试试啊! - Wouldn't do any good. - Dude, we have to try.
拜托啦 带我们去见他们 求你! - 好吧 小鬼 - Please take us to them. Please. - All right, kids,
我带你们去见总局领导 we'll take you to the network heads.
但我提醒你们 从来没人能让...总局领导们回心转意 But I warn you, nobody has ever gotten the executives
重开停播的节目 从来没有 to un-cancel a show once the call has been made. Nobody.
这怎么回事? - 地球轨道上 - What the hell is that? - There's a huge ship of some kind
出现了一艘巨型飞船 等一下 in Earth's orbit. But why? Wait a minute.
怎么回事?
混沌理论! - 混沌理论? - Chaos theory. - Chaos theory?
混沌理论首次提出是在60年代 60 Chaos theory, it was first thought of in the '60s. Sixty,
"Punky Brewster"播到60集 that's the number of episodes they made of Punky Brewster
就停播了 停播? - 啊? - before it was cancelled... Cancelled. - Huh?
你还不明白吗? 节目停播了 外星人要停播"地球"! Don't you see? The show is over. The aliens are cancelling Earth!
哦 我的天 我们必须阻止他们! Oh, my God. We have to stop them!
欢迎来到Fognl星球 Joozian的家乡 Welcome to planet Fognl, home of the Joozians,
全宇宙的传媒中心! who control all media in the universe.
需要我效劳吗? Can I help you?
我们跟总局领导 约好三点开会 We have a 3:00 meeting with the network heads.
你们哪儿来的? - 地球 - Where are you visiting from? - Earth.
我是这节目的忠实观众! I watch that show all the time.
哦 当然 进来吧 地球人! 我们正在审核新节目 Sure, come on in, earthlings. We're just checking out our new show.
我们从"牛头"星球弄了100个生物 We took 100 beings from the planet Marklar, and put them
又找来"马面"星球的生物 一起放到小行星上 乱成一锅粥了! on an asteroid with sentient beings from the Horsehead Nebula. It's a riot.
他们恨死对方了! - 怎么可能！ - They hate each other. - No way!
伟大的广电总局的各位领导 Mighty, powerful network executives,
我们千里迢迢来到这里... we have come a great distance in order to have...
我饿死了 你们这些 地球人吃过饭没有? I'm starving. You earthlings have haglar yet?
哦 说得对 我们去吃饭吧 - 你想去哪儿吃 去MORONIS? - Yeah, let's do haglar. - Where do you want to go, Moronis?
不要 那地方太挤了 呜! 不如去"布拉嘎"! Not on a Fleckmar, too crowded. Blach-ga-Felch!
喔 "布拉嘎"挺不错的! Blach-ga-Felch, perfect.
这地方棒极了 - 瞧 我们只想谈谈 - This place is fantastic. - Look, we just want to talk to you
地球秀 - 求你们别停播 拜托! - about the show. - Please don't cancel us. Please.
很抱歉 地球人 但是你们必须明白 无利不起早 I'm sorry, earthlings, but you have to realise, the universe is a business.
你们都播100集了 该满足了 You made it to 100 episodes, you should be proud.
没错 电视节目都不该超过100集 Yeah, a show should never go past 100 episodes,
要不然味同嚼蜡 or else it starts to get stale,
只剩下无聊到爆的台词和剧情 with ridiculously stupid plot lines and settings.
这是你们点的 "GLAGAPLATZL配GNAKLEBERG"! Here's your order of gespahtgaplachfenachenblah.
可先生们 我们的秀正渐入佳境 But, sirs, we think our show is just getting good.
我是说 地球上正要爆发大战呢 I mean, we're just now starting to see people get really pissed off
喔 我的天 太好吃了! - at each other. - Oh, my God, this is great.
你一定有些Joozian血统 - 我同意 - You must have some Joozian ancestry. - Tell us about it.
瞧 地球秀里有五十亿人 Look, there's five billion people on our show.
你不能说停就停 - 哦 我的天 - You can't just up and cancel on us. - Oh, my God,
你看那边那个Joozimak will you look at the hekmas on that Joozinek?
老兄 我们正在拯救我们的星球! Dude, we're trying to save our planet, here.
咱带这些地球小鬼去脱衣舞酒吧吧! Let's take the earthlings to a hekma bar.
哦 好极了! Yeah.
噢耶 瞧瞧这些脱衣舞娘! Yeah, let's see those hekmas.
先生 如果你们允许... - 哦 老天 晕死我了 - Sirs, if you'll just let... - Oh, man, I am so wasted.
嘿 你们地球人 想不想尝尝BLANCGH? Hey, you earthlings wanna try a little blancgh?
哦 太爽了! 哦 爽歪歪! Oh, yeah! Gluck, yeah!
Kenny! - 这地方太没劲了! - Kenny. - Man, screw this place.
我们包个妓女 去开房间吧! - 哦 好主意! - Let's go get a hotel room and a hooker. - Yeah.
好 Yeah.
我们得想办法阻止外星人! We have to find a way to stop those aliens.
他们的飞船大得离谱 根本阻止不了! Their ship is massive. There's no way to stop it.
等一下 夹克衫! - 哦 不 - Wait a minute. Jackets. - Oh, no.
如果不穿夹克衫 就容易着凉感冒! If people don't wear jackets, they could get cold.
感冒是由病毒引起的 病毒 电脑病毒! A cold is caused by a virus... Computer virus.
我们可以用电脑病毒 感染他们的飞船 We could make a computer virus and send it to their ship
使他们的电脑崩溃! to disable their computers.
简直狗屁不通! That doesn't make any goddamn sense!
噢耶 小妞!
耶 呜呼 耶! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
地球小鬼 是不是玩得很爽啊? Boy, earthlings, is this a party, or what?
好极了 宝贝 你让我的Jaggon变硬了! That's it, baby, you're getting my jaggon hard.
耶 我们来狂欢吧! - 吸我的Jaggon! - Yeah, let's party. - Yeah, suck my jaggon.
现在换你来吸我的Jaggon Yeah, now you suck on my jaggon. Yeah.
哦 耶!
把你的手指伸进我的Thrusher! 哦 耶 吸那只Jaggon! Stick your finger in my thrusher. Yeah, suck it, suck that jaggon.
伙计 我完全看不懂眼前的事 Dude, I have no idea what we're seeing right now,
但我感觉这非常 非常变态 but I have a feeling it's really, really wrong.
哦耶! 哦耶 耶!
哦 上帝 我的头好晕 Oh, God, my head.
我们干了什么? What did we do?
哦 老兄 我不敢相信 我吸了你的Jaggon Oh, man, I can't believe I sucked your jaggon.
哦天 我们的确吸了对方的Jaggon! Oh, God, we did suck each other's jaggons.
你们这群小鬼不会告诉其他人吧? You kids won't tell anybody about this, right?
不会 - 不 等等 - No. - No, wait.
要我们不告诉别人 除非你们不停播我们的节目 We won't tell anybody if you don't cancel our show.
呜 我就知道 - 他们抓住了我们的把柄 - I knew that was coming. - They've really got us by the nezmins.
地球秀会很好看的 只要消除大家的记忆 The Earth! show can still be good. Just erase everyone's memories,
我们就会忘记这是电视! - 我肯定 - so we don't know we're a show. - I'm sure you'll see
只要给我们时间 that if you give our world time,
地球一定会变得更野蛮更暴力 it will become even more outrageous and violent.
说不定还能爆发第三次世界大战呢! There's even World War llI to look forward to.
而且我们不会让任何人看到 And then we won't have to show anybody
Kenny偷拍的 你们吸对方Jaggon的艳照 the picture Kenny has of you guys sucking each other's jaggons.
够了 够了 死小鬼! 你们赢了 All right, all right, earthlings, you win.
不停播地球秀 - 万岁! - The show can stay on. - All right.
记得要保持腥风血雨哦 Just be sure to keep up the wars and violence.
我们五点还要和Yerka的制作人开会 Well, we've got a 5:00 with the Yerka producers.
很高兴认识你们 地球人 拜! Nice meeting you, earthlings. Bye.
哇喔 Cartman 看来你昨晚没睡好 Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't get much sleep last night.
那是因为昨晚我一直在做恶梦 That's cause I was having these bogus nightmares all night long.
嘿 你们快看!
这什么东东? 我咋知道 What the hell is that?
好啊 孩子们! - 嘿 大厨 - Hello there, children. - Hey, Chef.
大厨 Kenny弄到张照片 是两个绿东西吸对方的肩膀 Chef, Kenny has a picture of two green things sucking each other's shoulders.
它们在干嘛 大厨? - 我不知道 - What is it, Chef? - I don't know,
但直觉告诉我 这张照片可能很重要 孩子们 but something tells me this picture might be very important, children.
你们要收好唷 You should hang on to it.
全宇宙的各位观众! 记得下星期锁定本台 Attention, universe. Be sure to tune in next week
收看下集精彩的"地球"! for another exciting episode of Earth!
亚洲人非常不爽俄罗斯人 The Asians are really stewed at the Russians,
斑马想和水牛攀交情 the zebras try to get along with the buffalo,
而美国和伊拉克大战在即! and Americans and Iraqis have an all-out brawl.
超级爆笑 全新改版! "地球"! Fognl出品! It's outrageous fun, and it's all new. Earth! on FOGNL.
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