-=伊甸园美剧http://sfile.ydy.com=- 荣誉出品 本字幕仅供学习交流，严禁用于商业途径
-=YTET-伊甸园字幕组=- 翻译: 招财喵喵 校对: 弗来 时间轴: 招财喵喵
*欢迎来到南方公园 享受好时光* ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
*到处都是友好的脸* ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
*淳朴的居民乐天知命* ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
*来到南方公园 可不要大惊小怪* ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
*大车小车随便停* ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
*人人喊着 "邻居你好!"* ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
*到了南方公园 看你感觉多自然* ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
*(你要听得清我说话 算你最厉害!)* ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
*快来南方公园 让你笑口常开* ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
南方公园 第7季 第3集 厕纸风波 iTunes版本调教：Tears 双语合成 Lv&daisy
很好 孩子们 做得很好 记住 去感觉黏土 Okay, good, children, good. Remember to feel the clay.
与黏土合二为一 Be one with the clay.
做得不错 Nice.
往蛋蛋上再加些黏土 Put more clay on the balls.
孩子们 这是什么? Boys, what is that?
驯鹿? A reindeer?
知道么 我受够了 你们四个小子从来不认真上美术课! You know, I've had it. You four boys never take art class seriously!
哦 我们十恶不赦 What a crime.
你们不拿美术当回事 对么? You think art is not important?
美术就是有点...娘 Well, art's just kind of for gay-wads.
我爱美术! - 你瞧? - I love art class! - See?
你们觉得这很滑稽? Do you think this is funny?
你们觉得很滑稽 对么?! Do you think this is funny? Huh?
你们四个今天下午就留在学校里 Well, you four can just spend your afternoon after school here
做个新黏土作品! making new pottery!
你不能这么做! - 我当然可以 我是你们的老师 - You can't do that! - I certainly can. I'm your teacher!
可你只是美术老师! - 留校两小时 - You're an art teacher! - Make it two hours.
Streibel老师总是自以为是! Mrs. Dreibel thinks she's so cool!
她居然这么对待我们! How dare she talk to us like that?
没错 她是个%*@
我觉不能轻易放过她 We can't let her get away with this.
我们今晚要做点一鸣惊人的事 I think tonight we need to do something drastic.
比如什么? Like what?
比如查出Streibel老师的住址 然后去她家 再然后...T.P.她的房子 Like find out where Miss Dreibel lives and go over there and TP her house.
没错! Yeah!
T.P.她的房子? - 厕纸 - TP her house? - Toilet paper.
拿厕纸盖住她家的房子 Cover her house in toilet paper.
你怎么了 Kyle 你怕了吗? What's the matter, Kyle, you chicken?
你们安静点! 现在不是游戏时间 你们在受处分! Quiet, boys! This isn't play time. You're being punished!
好 笑到最后的是赢家 美术婊子 Fine, but we'll have the last laugh tonight, art whore.
没错 跟你没完 你这丑八怪 Yeah, payback time, you ugly skank.
这么多够不够? - 应该够了 - You think that's enough? - Should be fine.
你们不觉得这样很可疑吗? Don't you guys think this is a little suspicious?
我们不能光买厕纸 这样太显眼了 We should buy something else so it doesn't look obvious.
好吧 那我们再买一支口香糖 Okay, here we go, a pack of chewing gum.
你们好啊 孩子们 东西买齐了吗? - 没错 买齐了 - Hello, boys, find everything you need? - Yup, all set.
我来点点 厕纸 厕纸 厕纸 Okay, let's see here, toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper,
厕纸 厕纸 toilet paper, toilet paper.
你们几个小孩儿晚上打算干嘛? So, what are you kids up to tonight?
喔 我们打算看看电视 下下棋 We're just gonna watch some TV and maybe play a board game.
晚上在家休闲一下 感觉不错吧? 厕纸 厕纸 Nice relaxing night at home, huh? Toilet paper, toilet paper,
厕纸 and toilet paper.
嘿 嘿...你们几个小孩儿别乱玩口香糖 Hey, now you kids be careful with this chewing gum.
别把口香糖粘在课桌底下 - 好的 - Don't go sticking it under tables. - Okay.
好 厕纸 厕纸 厕纸 Okay, toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper.
知道么 孩子 我记得你上周来这里 You know, son, I remember you coming in last week
也买了那么多厕纸 and buying this much toilet paper.
哦 是的 没错 Yeah, that's right.
厕纸 厕纸 Toilet paper, toilet paper.
你上周T.P.过别人的房子 Cartman? You TP'd a house last week, Cartman?
没有 上周四是墨西哥铁板烧之夜 No, last Thursday night was fajitas night.
是这间房子么? Is this the right house?
地址没错 等等 你们瞧! It's the right address. Wait, look there!
那是Streibel老师 就是这里! There's Miss Dreibel! This is the place!
哦 等一下 里面有小孩 - 那又如何? - Oh, wait, wait. There's kids inside. - So?
我不T.P.有小孩的房子 So I'm not TP'ing a house with kids inside it.
Kyle 我们大家说好的 Kyle, we all agreed to do this.
可我们没说过小孩问题 老兄! We didn't say nothing about no kids, man!
Kyle 别抽风了 Kyle, you're being an asshole.
我们速战速决 Now let's do this thing and get out of here.
这就是我对你的美术课的想法 你这该死的婊子! Here's what I think of your art class, you goddamn bitch!
没错 去你妈的!
收工 走人! Come on, let's go!
我们做了什么呀? - 快走吧 Kyle! - What have we done? - Let's go, Kyle!
我们有麻烦了 我们有大麻烦了! We're in trouble. We're in so much trouble!
哦 天哪 简直太爽了! Oh, man, that was so awesome!
你怎么说的出口? 你没看见我们的所做所为吗? How can you say that? Did you see what we did to their house?
那房子要花好几天才能弄干净! - 管他呢? - It'll take them days to clean that up! - Who cares?
你不在乎 因为你是个 没心没肺的混蛋 Cartman! Well, you don't because you're an uncaring asshole, Cartman!
我? Me?
你的手也拿过厕纸 Kyle There's toilet paper on your hands too, Kyle.
Cartman是对的 Kyle 这件事我们人人有份 Cartman's right, Kyle. We're all in this together.
不 不不! No! No! No!
亲爱的 怎么回事? Honey, what is it?
喔 上帝 不 我们的家! Oh, Jesus, no! Our house!
妈妈! - Mommy! Mommy! - Mommy! Mommy!
为什么?! 为什么?! Why? Why?
嘿 你们听说昨晚的事了吗? Hey, did you guys hear what happened last night?
Streibel老师的家盖满了厕纸 Mrs. Dreibel's house got covered with toilet paper.
听说了 据说清理那些厕纸 至少要花三星期 Yeah, they say it's gonna take three weeks to get it all down.
是吗 我们的Streibel老师 一定是罪有应得了 Yeah, well, ol' Miss Dreibel probably had it coming to her.
我不知道 我觉得任何人都不该受到 这样粗暴的对待 I don't know. I don't think anybody deserves that kind of brutality.
嗯 据我所知 罪犯还没落网呢 Well, I understand the people who did it weren't caught,
看来 我们永远不会知道是哪位天才 so looks like nobody will ever know the geniuses
策划了这样天衣无缝的罪行 who masterminded that perfect crime.
好了 孩子们 大家坐好 Okay, children, let's take our seats.
哦 Stan Kyle Eric还有Kenny Stan, Kyle, Eric and Kenny,
教导主任正在办公室等着见你们 the counsellor wants to see you in his office now.
该死! - 喔 上帝! - Damn. - Oh, God!
他们怎么会知道 是我们T.P.了那所房子? How the hell did they find out it was us that TP'd that house?
放松点行么 Kyle? 他们根本没证据 Will you relax, Kyle? They've got nothing on us.
只要我们口供一致 我们绝对没事 As long as we all stick to our story, we'll be fine.
我们最好再复习一下 我们编的故事 以妨露馅 We'd better go over our story again so we don't screw it up.
好吧 昨晚 我们四个一起去打保龄球 Okay. Last night all four of us were at the bowling alley
一直打到晚上7:30 当时碰巧瞧见了Ally Sheedy until about 7:30, at which time we noticed Ally Sheedy,
那个主演"早餐俱乐部"的女演员 在我们隔壁的球道打球 the goth chick from The Breakfast Club, was bowling next to us
我们问她要签名 可她没带笔 and we asked for her autograph, but she didn't have a pen
所以我们跟着她 去她的车上拿笔 但在路上 so we followed her to her car, but on the way we were accosted
遇上五个山达基教徒来搭讪 硬要给我们做性格测试 by five Scientologists who wanted to give us all personality tests
于是我们去了丹佛市的山达基总部 which were administered at the Scientology Centre in Denver
做完测试已经是10:45 until 10:45, at which time
我们又不巧搭错了回家的公车 we accidentally boarded the wrong bus home
结果来到了阿拉斯加的一个小岛 and ended up in Rancho De Fritas Rojos,
最后一个叫Gary Bushwell的 south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man
左手食指断掉的男人载我们回了家 who was missing his left index finger named Gary Bushwell,
到家时是11:46 arriving home at 11:46.
我完全晕了 那Ally Sheedy有没有做性格测试? I'm confused. Did Ally Sheedy take the personality test?
当然做了 老兄! - Kyle 其实很简单 - Yes, dude! - Kyle, it's very simple.
我们跟着Ally Sheedy去找她的车 但是在半道上 We followed Ally Sheedy out to her car,
五个山达基教徒找我们搭讪 but on the way we were accosted by five Scientologists
硬拉我们去做性格测试 who wanted to give us all personality tests
我们去了丹佛市的山达基总部 which were administered at the Scientology Centre in Denver
做完测试是10:45 until 10:45, at which time we accidentally boarded
然后我们搭错了回家的公车 结果跑到了阿拉斯加的小岛上 the wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho De Fritas Rojos,
最后一个叫Gary Bushwell的 south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with
左手食指断掉的男人载我们回了家 a man who was missing his left index finger named Gary Bushwell,
11:46到家 你明白了吗?! arriving home at 11:46. You got it?
- 我... 我不明白 - 哦 看在上帝的份上! - I... I can't... - Oh, for Christ's sake!
听着 Kyle 就让Cartman 来回答一切问题 好吗? Look, Kyle, just let Cartman do all the talking, okay?
他是惹麻烦老手 He's better at being in trouble than anybody.
谢谢你 Stan Thank you, Stan.
嘘 嘘... 他们来了 他们来了 Here they come, here they come.
于是我就说 "这个笑话太好笑了 Wendy And so I said, "That's a terrific joke, Wendy.
再给我们讲一个吧!" "Tell us another one!"
哦 您好 Mackey先生 您打算现在见我们吗? Oh, hello, Mr. Mackey. Are you ready to see us now?
我们要跟你们一个一个谈 好呗? We're going to talk to you one at a time, boys, m'kay?
Kenny 你先来我的办公室吧? Kenny, will you step into my office, please?
我?
来吧 Kenny 我们走 好呗? Come on, Kenny, let's go, m'kay?
真行啊 Mackey先生 你真行啊 Touché, Mr. Mackey. Touché.
他们干嘛要跟我们一个一个谈? Why are they doing us one at a time?
他们想看看我们的故事是不是编的 They want to see if we mix the story up,
看看有没有人会为了好处 出卖其他三个人 and see if somebody will rat out the other three for a better deal.
我能捞到好处? I can get a better deal?
Kyle 我警告你 要是你出卖我们 我一定让你不得好死! Kyle, so help me God, if you Jew us out on this one, I will... kill you.
总算弄干净了 这应该是最后一条厕纸 There we go. That should be about the last of it.
恕我冒昧 您在干嘛? Excuse me, what are you doing?
犯罪现场调查 Crime scene investigation.
雪地上有好几种指纹 There are several footprints in the snow.
很可能是犯罪团伙干的 Perhaps more than one perpetrator?
呃 我们真的不想小题大作 Look, we really don't want to make a big deal out of this.
那是罪犯的厕纸吗? Is that the toilet paper there?
我要把它们带回去当证据 I'll need to take those bags as evidence.
你瞧 这真的没什么大不了的 我是说... Look, it's just not that big a deal. I mean,
我自己小时候就干过这种事 I toilet papered houses myself when I was a kid.
你?! You?
说 你昨晚九点人在哪里? So where were you last night at around 9:00?
我在这里! - 啊哈! 抓到你了! - I was here! - Aha! Got you!
警官 我干嘛要T.P.我自己的家? Officer, why would I TP my own house?
骗保险费? Insurance?
不是我 好不好? It wasn't me, okay?
如果你不介意的话 我只想让这里恢复常态 Now, if you don't mind, I just want to get my yard back to normal.
现在 你听我说 Now, you listen to me.
T.P.了你房子的人至今逍遥法外 Whoever TP'd your house is still out there roaming the streets.
迟早会有别的房子 It's only a matter of time before another house
别的家庭 受到侵害! and another family is victimised.
我必须阻止这样的事发生 I have to stop that from happening!
你真没别的事可干了 对吗? You really have nothing better to do, do you?
对的 的确没有 No, I do not.
不 不不! No! No! No!
哦 上帝 不 我们的家! Oh, Jesus, no! Our house!
妈妈! 妈妈! - Mommy! Mommy! - Mommy! Mommy!
为什么 为什么?! 为什么?! Why? Why? Why?
喔 上帝! 喔 上帝! 我必须说出真相! Oh, God! Oh, God! I have to tell the truth!
妈!! Mom!
你好 Kyle 要去哪儿啊? Hello, Kyle. Going somewhere?
我只是...我只是想喝杯水 I was... I was just going to get a drink of water.
没必要 我已经给你倒好了 No need. I have one for you right here.
哦 好 谢谢 Oh. Okay. Thanks.
还有别的事我能效劳吗? Is there anything else I can get for you?
不 我只想...回床上睡觉 No, I'll just be going back to bed now.
的确 晚安 Kyle You do that. Good night, Kyle.
Josh Myers 在不到一年中 T.P.了六百多所住宅 Josh Myers TP'd over 600 houses in less than a year.
他是真正的魔鬼 He's a real monster.
我只想和了解厕纸犯 想法的人谈谈 I just need to talk to someone who knows how toilet paperers think.
记住 他一有机会就会用厕纸盖住你 Just remember, he'd toilet paper you in a second if he had the chance.
他就在左手边的最后那间牢房 He's the last cell on your left.
你好 Josh Hello, Josh. My name is Officer Barbrady.
我是南方公园警局的 Barbrady警官 I'm with the South Park police.
(沉默的羔羊)这古龙水不适合你 警官 That's a terrible cologne you're wearing, Officer.
你该试试更...休闲的味道 You should try something more casual.
我希望你能 协助我解决一件贴厕纸案 I was hoping you could help me solve a toilet papering case.
为什么我要帮你? 因为我长得帅吗? And why would I do that? Because I'm such a charming fella?
拜托了 我需要你的帮助 你想要什么回报? Please, I need your help. What would you want in return?
由于我恶劣的罪行 Due to the harsh nature of my crimes,
他们不肯给我的牢房供应厕纸 they don't allow me to have toilet paper in my cell.
你能想像这有多令人困扰 You can imagine how bothersome that becomes.
你知道我不能给你厕纸 Josh You know I can't give you toilet paper, Josh.
我知道 但值得一试 不是么? No, but it was worth a try, wasn't it?
告诉我 警官 Tell me something, Officer.
你为什么会在 这样一个小镇当差? Why is it that you police such a small town?
你一定有更大的理想 You must have had larger inspirations.
你的大城市梦想哪儿去了? What happened to those big-city dreams?
喔 这个问题太私人了 Well, that's kind of personal.
快回答我 警官 你告诉我 我想知道的事 Quid pro quo, Officer. Tell me what I want to know,
我就帮你抓T.P.那所房子的罪犯 and I'll help you catch whoever toilet papered that house.
你瞧 小孩 我现在时间紧迫 Look, kid, I have very little time to catch whoever toilet papered that house.
告诉我 你知道什么 Tell me what you know.
那是犯罪现场的照片吗? 给我看看 Are those the crime scene photos? Let me see them.
很好 很好 干得不赖 挺专业的 Yes. Yes. Not bad work. Not bad at all.
这些罪犯是洒厕纸的专家 至少 其中一人是专家 These toilet paperers are professionals, at least one of them is.
你凭什么断定罪犯不只一人? So you think there was more than one. Why?
你先告诉我 Tell me something first.
当你跨入警校时 你渴望证明自己 When you went to the academy, you had something to prove.
你想保护百姓 为百姓服务 You wanted to protect and serve,
但更多时候 你只想保护自己 but mostly you just wanted to protect yourself.
你在保护自己免受谁的骚扰 Barbrady警官? Who were you protecting yourself from, Officer Barbrady?
好吧 好吧! 我小时候 我叔叔Charles 总是用皮带抽我! All right, all right! My uncle Charles used to hit me with a belt!
谢谢你 Thank you.
你厕纸犯 Your toilet paperers are most likely males
很可能是8至10岁的男孩 很可能是处男 between the ages of eight and 10 and probably virgins.
用这么多厕纸 家长会发现 Parents notice that much toilet paper missing,
所以厕纸一定是他们自己买的 so they would have had to have bought it themselves.
找出厕纸的来源 警官 Find out where the toilet paper came from, Officer,
你就能找到你的罪犯 and you just might catch your man.
Stan Kenny 能和你俩聊聊么? Stan, Kenny, can I talk to you guys for a second?
我想我们骗过了 校长和教导主任 但是... I think we have the counsellor and the principal fooled,
我们必须聊聊Kyle but we need to talk about Kyle.
他怎么了? - 得了吧 你知道的! - What about him? - Come on, you know!
- 他撑不住了 他会泄秘的 - 我也觉得 He's losing it. He's going to crack.
Kyle承受不住压力 他会像金丝雀一样口若悬河 Kyle can't take the heat, and he's going to sing like a canary.
到那时 我们就惨了 Then we're going to take the fall for what we did.
嘿 伙计们! - Butters - Hey, fellas! - Butters.
瞧 只要有一个人泄密我们就完了 Look, you guys, all it takes is for one of us crack.
我们都明白谁是最弱的那一环 And we all know who the weakest link is.
那我们该怎么办? So what should we do?
我们没得选择...我们必须杀了Kyle We have no choice. We have to kill Kyle.
老兄 我们才不会杀Kyle! Dude! We're not killing Kyle!
为什么不呢? Why not?
Kyle会守口如瓶的好不好 Kyle's not going to say anything, all right?
他在教导处差点就招供了 He almost spilled the beans in the counsellor's office.
他连我们编的故事都记不住! He can't even keep the story straight!
我告诉你们 他靠不住 I'm telling you guys, he's weak.
他靠不住 我们就都完了 He's weak, and he'll be the end of all of us.
你找我 Barbrady警官? You wanted to see me, Officer Barbrady?
是的 谢谢你能来 Bell先生 Yes, thanks for coming, Mr. Bell.
南方公园有所民宅被T.P.了 A house was TP'd in South Park,
我想知道你是否认得 and I need to see if you can identify the toilet paper
这些我从现场带回来的厕纸 I recovered from the scene.
对不起 我不得不这么做 I'm sorry I have to do this.
哦 我的上帝 Oh, my God.
这些厕纸是你店里出售的吗? Is this toilet paper from your store?
这...很难分辨 已经腐烂了 It's difficult to tell, it's so decayed.
我...等一下 是的 是的 上面的花纹图案我记得 I... Wait a minute... Yes, yes. I recognise the floral pattern now.
厕纸来源确认 Positive ID on the toilet paper.
谁会对厕纸下此毒手 谁干的? Who would do this to toilet paper? Who?
Bell先生 最近几天 有可疑份子 Mr. Bell, do you remember anyone suspicious
到你店里来买过厕纸吗? buying toilet paper in the last few days?
有多可疑? Suspicious, like how?
比如黑人 墨西哥人 中东人? Well, like someone who was black or Mexican or Middle Eastern?
不 我唯一记得的墨西哥人 只在我那买了烤蛋挞和薯片 No, the only Mexican guy I recall bought Toaster Tarts and chips,
再说 我们店里禁止中东人进入 and we don't allow Middle Eastern people into the store.
哦 我的上帝 Oh, my God.
你葫芦里买的什么药 Cartman? What's this all about, Cartman?
我只想看看你过得如何 Kyle I just wanted to see how you're doing, Kyle.
不如我们一起划船聊天吧? Why don't we go out for a little boat ride?
划船? A boat ride?
我只是觉得我们 需要找个地方单独聊聊 I just thought we should find a private place to talk.
好啊 Well, okay.
你能帮我把这砖头和链条 搬到船上去吗? Could you help me put this cement block and chain in the boat?
好 我们走吧 Okay, let's go.
你过得怎么样 Kyle? - 糟透了 - So how are things, Kyle? - Terrible.
每次我一闭上眼 我们T.P.的那所房子就会浮现 Every time I close my eyes, I see the house we TP'd.
我看见美术老师在哭 听见她的女儿们惨叫 I see the tears of our art teacher and hear the screams of her daughters.
所以你觉得你该坦白 And you feel like you have to confess.
我不知道该怎么办 I don't know what to do.
有时 我觉得应该现在就结束这件事 Part of me feels like I have to end it all now,
告诉人们真相 tell people what happened.
知道么 我以前从未注意到 这小池塘是如此的美 You know, I never noticed how beautiful this pond was before.
如此平静 So calm.
世界正像这片池塘...外表波澜不惊 The world can be like that, so calm on the outside,
就好像从来没有罪恶 as if nothing bad ever happens.
你小子在干嘛 Cartman? What the hell are you doing, Cartman?
我正在杀你 不幸的是我只买的起儿童棒球棍 I'm killing you. But unfortunately, I could only afford a Wiffle bat,
所以不可能一次成功 so it's going to take a while.
Cartman! - 别反抗 Kyle - Cartman! - Don't fight it, Kyle.
马上你就会长眠不醒了 It will only take longer. Just slip into sweet unconsciousness.
你想杀我? 来吧! You wanna kill me? Fine!
我不能再这样活下去了! 来吧! I can't live like this any more! Go ahead!
动手吧! Do it!
你马上就能如愿以偿了 Kyle Won't be long now, Kyle.
Josh 我需要更多的帮助 Josh, I need more help.
真相就在你眼前 但你视而不见 The answer's right in front of you, but you can't see it.
你什么意思? How do you mean?
告诉我 那些厕纸是有棉层的吗? Tell me, the toilet paper, was it quilted?
是的 - 单层? - Yes. - Single sheet?
不 双层 No, two ply.
什么? 那能说明什么? What? What does that tell you?
那些人为什么会用厕纸 盖住他人的房子 警官? Why does one toilet paper a house, Officer?
为了报复 - 不 这只是附带的 - To get revenge. - No, that is incidental!
你的厕纸犯是想要 重塑那名美术老师的住所 Your toilet paperers wanted to transform the art teacher's house,
借此重塑她的职业 thus transforming her entire occupation.
什么意思? What do you mean?
你那位经常用皮带抽你的叔叔 是不是很高大? Your uncle who hit you with a belt, was he a large man?
我没时间和你聊这个 小鬼 I don't have time for this, kid.
他是不是每次下班回家时 都臭得像熊 Did he stink like beer when he came home from work,
是不是汗流夹背浑身湿透? (南部口音) all tired from playing down at the pool house?
好吧 好吧! 我爹总是在扑克之夜 All right! All right! My dad dressed me up like a little girl
把我打扮成小女孩 逼我坐在我叔叔的大腿上! on poker nights and made me sit on all my uncles' laps.
谢谢你 Thank you.
你的厕纸犯很可能 是这位美术老师的学生 Your toilet paperers are most likely students in the art teacher's class,
美术学得不咋样的学生 students who aren't very good at art.
当然! 她的学生之一! Of course! One of her students!
去吧 Barbrady警官 你该去进行逮捕工作了 Fly along now, Officer Barbrady, you've got some arrests to make.
去吧 去吧 去吧...去 去 去 Fly, fly, fly. Fly, fly, fly.
Josh 你又在向警官发怪声了对吗? Josh, were you doing the silly voice for the policeman again?
(恢复正常)没有 先生 No, sir.
Cartman 你在干嘛? Cartman, what are you doing?
我正在了结我们的问题! 再等几小时Kyle就没命了 I'm getting rid of our problem. Kyle will be dead in a matter of hours.
你不必杀死Kyle 老兄 You don't have to kill Kyle, dude.
警方已经逮捕了罪犯 那个人承认了! The police made an arrest, and the person confessed!
抓到了? - 抓到了? - They did? - They did?
他们说那人已经被抓到警察局去了! They say they've got the guy that did it down at the police station!
谁认罪了? 这太不可思议了! Who confessed? That doesn't make any sense!
那我能不能接着杀Kyle? But can I still kill Kyle?
你们好啊 孩子们 过得怎样? Hello, boys, how are you?
我们听说你逮捕了那个T.P. 美术老师住所的罪犯 We heard that you have the person who TP'd the art teacher's house.
是真的吗? - 那当然! - Is that true? - It sure is!
呃 我们能见见他们 他 她吗? Could we see them? Him? Her?
就在这边 Right over here.
我们审讯了犯罪嫌疑人40多小时 Yeah, we interrogated the suspect for over 40 hours,
最后他总算承认了 and he finally cracked.
嘿 伙计们! - Butters? - Hey, fellas! - Butters?
是我 我蹲大狱了 Yup. I'm in jail.
你认罪了? You confessed?
呃 他们硬说我T.P.了美术老师的家 They said I TP'd the art teacher's house.
可我实在想不起来 不过他们很肯定是我干的 I don't seem to remember it, but they're pretty sure it was me.
我就是控制不了我的行为! I just can't get my behaviour under control.
他的父母正在赶来 His parents are on their way down now.
他们一准不会放过我的! Yeah, and, boy, are they gonna let me have it.
等着我老爸来吧! Just wait till my father gets here!
伙计们 我们不能让他背黑锅 You guys, we can't let him do this.
你在说什么糊话? 这是上苍的礼物! What are you talking about? This is a gift from God!
主耶稣亲自拿彩绸包装的 An early Easter present all wrapped up with a pretty ribbon
复活节礼物! from Jesus Christ himself!
我是个无可救药的小混蛋 I'm just a little asshole, is what I am.
上帝创造我时 When God made me,
他一定没仔细检查 因为我是个错误! he must've not been paying very close attention, 'cause I turned out wrong.
天大的错误 Just plain wrong!
Barbrady警官 Butters没有T.P.那所房子 Officer Barbrady, Butters didn't TP that house.
你为什么这么说? Why do you say that?
- 因为那是... - 有人想玩棒球吗? - Because it was... - Wiffle ball, anyone?
要不要玩玩棒球游戏啊? Anyone care for a nice game of Wiffle ball?
知道么 我担心的不是我父母 我担心的是我女朋友 Carrie You know, it's not my parents I'm worried about. It's my girlfriend, Carrie.
她住在密西根 如果她发现我的处境 She lives in Michigan, but when she finds out about this,
哦 老天 她一定会悲痛欲绝的! smokies, is she gonna be sore!
说不定还会和我分手 She might even break up with me.
那是我罪有应得! And it would serve me right, too!
好了 孩子们 探访时间结束 谢谢你们来访 All right, boys, visiting time is over. Thanks for stopping by.
你们瞧啊 船到桥头自然直!啦啦啦! You see, you guys? It all worked itself out! Ta-da!
啦啦啦! 我是不是很有先见之明? Ta-da! How do like me now?
是不是觉得你自己很蠢 Kyle? 啦啦啦! 崇拜我了吧! Feel a little silly now, Kyle? Ta-da! How you like me now?
我还是感觉很糟 Cartman! I still feel bad, Cartman.
啥? 怎么...怎么会觉得糟? What? How can you feel bad?
有人给我们当替罪羊了啊! Somebody else is going to pay for our crime!
是的 那让我感觉更糟 Yeah, that makes it even worse.
可... But...
...呃... emmm
Kyle 你是不是脑子进水了 Kyle, you don't seem to understand.
我们不会受到惩罚了 永远! We're not gonna get punished for this! Ever!
我知道 I know.
那... 那你为什么感觉糟? So then, how can you feel bad?
他感到内疚 因为让别人承担他犯的错 He feels guilty for doing it and for letting someone else pay for it.
但他不用受罚了呀 But he's not gonna get in trouble.
这跟受不受罚无关 It doesn't matter if you get in trouble or not.
你还是会受良心的谴责啊 You can still feel bad.
我想你是对的 Kyle 也许我们应该认罪 I think you're right, Kyle. Maybe we should confess.
可... What the...
弟兄们 根本没什么好过意不去的 You guys, there's nothing to feel bad about.
我们免受处分了啊! We're off scot free!
我们为其他人过意不去 We feel bad for other people.
为其他... For other...
啊...噢 Oh
你...你是不是... 担心以后会受处分? Is it that you think you might get in trouble later?
明天 学校 我们要向美术老师坦白 Tomorrow, in school, we'll all tell the art teacher it was us,
让她决定如何罚我们 and let her decide what to do.
Cartman 如果你有一丁点良知 And, Cartman, if you have any thread of a conscience at all,
你也会这么做 you'll do the same.
老天 简直是一群怪胎 Freaking weirdoes, man.
我要亲眼所见 才敢相信! Well, well, well, I had to see it to believe it!
嗨 老爸 - 别跟我"嗨 老爸"! - Hi, Dad. - Don't you, "Hi, Dad," me!
瞧瞧你 又蹲大狱了 Look at you! Standing behind prison bars! Again!
是的 Yeah.
你又跟警官先生撒了什么谎 Butters? What fibs have you been telling this policeman, Butters?
你很清楚 你根本没有T.P.那房子! You know damn well you didn't toilet paper that house!
Butters那晚 一直和我们在一起 Barbrady警官 Butters was with us all night, Officer Barbrady.
Butters 我们难道没警告过你 别胡乱认罪吗? Butters, what have we told you about confessing to crimes you didn't commit?
我们受够了 小先生! We have had it, mister!
他连续审讯了我几十个小时 Well, he kept accusing me for hours,
还拼命用钠灯照我 and then he shot me up with Sodium Pentothal.
这就是你的借口? And that's your excuse?
看来是我错了 我想我最好放你出来 Looks like I made a mistake. I guess I'd better let you out now.
等着回家收拾你 你这小撒谎精! Just wait till we get you home, you little fibber!
警官 能让我留在监狱里吗? Officer, can I stay in jail, please?
快来啊 伙计们 快啊! Come on, you guys, hurry!
怎么回事 Cartman? What is it, Cartman?
就在这边 快来啊! It's over this way! Come on!
你们过得咋样 伙计们? So how are things, guys?
Cartman 我们明天 一进学校就坦白 没得商量 Cartman, we're confessing tomorrow at school, and that's final.
恐怕我不能让你们这样做 - 你不能把我们仨都杀了 Cartman - I'm afraid I can't let that happen. - You can't kill all three of us, Cartman.
我不能吗? Can't I?
打扰了 各位! 我带来个人 Excuse me, everyone. I have someone with me
他能告诉我们 谁往美术老师的房子洒了厕纸 who can tell us all who toilet papered the art teacher's house.
Josh坚持只肯当面说出罪犯的名字 Josh insisted he be able to tell you the names of the toilet paperers in person.
啊 很好 Barbrady警官 但事实上 已经没这个必要... - 等一下! That's nice, Officer Barbrady, but we actually don't need to know... -Hold it!
Victoria校长 Mackey老师 Dreible老师 Principal Victoria, Mr.Mackey,Mrs.Dreible
我们有事必须要告诉你们 we have something we need to tell you.
我说 你们这群人能不能 别随便闯进我办公室? All right, will you people stop barging into my office, please?
怎么了 Victoria校长 你的母亲是不是虐待过你? What's the matter, Principal Victoria? Was your mother abusive?
她是不是经常用冻肉打你 还用雨伞戳你的屁股? Did she spank your thighs with cold cuts and stick umbrellas up your ass?
把他给我弄出去! Get him out of here!
Brown警官 请你带Josh出去 好吗? Policeman Brown, will you take Josh outside, please?
哦 Brown警官 从来没受到过提拔对吗? Policeman Brown, never quite made officer.
为什么会这样呢 Brown警官? Why is that, Policeman Brown?
我们要向你们坦白 是我们... We have to confess that we were the ones that...
太晚了 孩子们 好呗? 我们已经知道一切了 It's too late, boys, m'kay? We already know everything.
你们知道了? 怎么会? You do? How?
嗨 伙计们 - Cartman?! - Hi, guys. - Cartman?
我告诉了他们一切 伙计们 结束了 I told them everything, you guys. It's over.
值得庆幸 你们中还一个人 算有良知 愿意挺身而出 Luckily for us, one of you had enough of a conscience to come forward.
我的良知使我寝食难安 My consciences just caught up with me.
这不公平! That's not fair!
你们几个都得留堂两星期作为处罚 You all get two weeks of detention,
除了Eric 由于他的勇敢 他只留堂一星期 except for Eric, who gets one week for being brave.
可他在撒谎! 他根本没有良知! But he's lying! He doesn't have a conscience!
看来我的工作已经完成了 Well, I guess my work here is done.
经过这一切 我要好好放个长假 After all this, I'm going to need a long vacation.
是我先良心发现的! This was supposed to be my story!
是我被良知折磨得寝食难安! My coming to terms with a guilty conscience!
这不公平! This isn't fair!
好吧 Josh 是时候回... Okay, Josh, time to go back to the...
喔 不! Oh, no!
他动作太快了 他已经逃走了 He was too fast for me. He ran out the door.
你干嘛不去追他? Well, couldn't you have gone after him?
我全身都是厕纸 太丢人了 Well, I'm covered in toilet paper. I'd look silly.
欢迎参加留堂 Welcome to detention.
你们要在这待到5点才能回家 You will be here until 5:00,
利用这段时间努力学习吧 好呗 so make good study use of your time, m'kay?
天哪 要这样过两星期 Two weeks of this.
是啊 但我不得不说 我感觉好多了 Yeah, but I have to say, I feel a lot better now.
我了解你的想法 Kyle I know what you mean, Kyle.
我意识到了 做了坏事虽然可以躲过一时 I realise now that even though you might not get caught doing something bad,
但毕竟纸包不住火 - 哦 老天爷啊 - you can still get caught later. - Oh, Jesus.
我从前不觉得难过 但我现在感觉到了 I didn't feel bad before, but now I just feel terrible.
你只是在为你自己难过 因为你得留堂! You just feel bad for yourself that you're in detention!
没错 我想 我今天学到了一些事... Right. I guess I learned today that sometimes...
哦 住嘴 Cartman 你屁都没学到! Oh, stop it, Cartman, you didn't learn anything!
什么屁事都没有! Not a goddamn thing!
警察局 - 你好 Barbrady警官 - Police station. - Hello, Officer Barbrady.
Josh? Josh 你在哪里? Josh? Josh, where are you?
我恐怕透露我的行踪 I'm afraid that giving away my location
会威胁到我的自由 警官 might be harmful to my freedom, Officer.
我只是想谢谢你 帮我逃出了那肮脏的监狱 I just wanted to thank you for helping me get out of that dingy cell.
Josh 你必须回少教所 Josh, you have to go back to juvenile hall.
你只被判了三星期! You only have a three-week sentence!
对不起 警官 我赶时间 Sorry, Officer, gotta run.
有件事我一直想做的 再见 There's something I've been meaning to do for quite some time.
再见 Ciao.
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