-=南方公园贴吧=- 翻译:Saint穆先生 校对:Tears 双语合成 教主zanki
南方公园 第6季第8集 炽热的天主之爱 S06E08 Red Hot Catholic Love
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
家长们 由教会的主教和神父们 Parents, it's that time of year again
组织的一年一度的 when the bishops and priests from around the country
青年团 活动时间又到啦 are organizing the Young Men's Catholic Retreat.
今年 我们将在周末带着孩子们划船出游 This year, we're taking the boys on a weekend boat trip
我们将讨论耶稣作为我们人生引路者的问题 to discuss Jesus' role as the navigator of our lives.
听起来不错 That sounds pretty fun.
乘船出游 A Catholic boat trip?
* 今天是个好日子... * ♪ The Catholic Boat ♪
* 教会将要划船出游 * ♪ Is gonna be heading on out today ♪
* 开船出游喂... ♪ The Catholic Boat ♪
* 抛弃你所有的烦恼 * ♪ Time to throw all of your cares away ♪
* 让我们为主祈祷 * ♪ Get some hot Christian action that'll take you -- ♪
* 主将引导你。。。 *
啊 Uh...
不好意思 Excuse me.
其实 我觉得让我们的孩子和神父 Look, I just don't think it's the best idea
一起坐船出游不是什么好事 to let our boys go on a cruise with the priest.
我们不能让他们去 是吧 We can't let them go, can we?
反正我不会让我儿子去 There's no way my son's going.
他们在说什么呢 -鬼才知道 What are they talking about? - I don't know.
也许他们想要杀了我们 Maybe they want to kill us!
由于最近新闻报道的一些事 With everything that's been in the news,
我觉得最好让我们的孩子离神父远点儿 I think it's best we keep our kids far away from the priests.
大家不能这么说 Now, come on, everybody. Just because a few priests
只是一部分神父道德败坏了 in the country have been corrupt,
并不是所有的神父都会猥亵儿童 it doesn't mean that all priests are child molesters.
没错 你当然无所谓了 -因为你儿子死了 Well, sure, that's easy for you to say -- Your son's dead.
但是我们的孩子还活着 But those of us with alive children
我们得确认Maxi神父是光明磊落的 need to be sure that Father Maxi is on the up-and-up.
我听说别的镇子里有些辅导员 I've heard about other towns bringing in counselors
能够在不告诉孩子们实情的情况下 that know how to find things out from kids
弄清楚到底发生生了什么 without really telling them what's going on.
不能伤害到他们 It couldn't hurt.
嘘 嘘 他来啦 Shh! Shh! Here he comes. Here he comes.
额 大家再见 Uh, goodbye, everyone.
晚安 晚安 晚安 神父 Bye!
那就这么定了 All right, then it's settled.
明天我们就去找个辅导员 Tomorrow we'll find an outside counselor
来调查一下神父的为人 and find out the truth.
你好 孩子们 我叫Garache Hi, boys. My name is Mrs. Gorache,
我想问大家几个问题 and I need to ask you a few questions
关于你们的神父的 可以吗 about your priest, okay?
好的 好的 没问题. Okay. - Okay.
好的 你们觉得Maxi神父是好呢还是不好呢 Would you say that Father Maxi is nice or mean?
不错啊 他挺好的 Fine. Nice. - Cool.
好的 你们会用什么词 Okay, what words would you use
来描述你们的神父呢 to describe your church's priest?
有同情心 Compassionate.
好的... 那么神父Maxi有没有试图 Okay, and did Father Maxi, at any time,
把什么东东放到你们的菊花里去 ever try to put something in your butt?
我们的菊花里 I-In our butt?
你们不用害羞和不好意思 You don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed.
他有没有过呢 Just did he ever try to put anything in your butt?
比如说钱什么的 Like money? What?
你是说金鱼 You mean like a goldfish?
不 不是 他有没有把他身上的东西 No, no, did he ever try to put anything
放进你们菊花里呢 that belonged to him in your butt?
没 没 没有 No.
这太荒唐了 -我们居然要坐在这儿等着看 This is ridiculous -- having to sit out here
我们的孩子是否被神父猥亵过 waiting to find out if our priest molested our kids.
是啊 可是 天主教义到底是什么 Yeah, what has Catholicism come to, anyway?
喏 从教堂的所做所为我觉得我们已经知道了 You know, I think we've just had it with the Church.
他们对我们的孩子做过那么多无耻的事 All the horrible things they've done to kids.
我觉得我要成为一个无神论者了 I think I'm gonna become an atheist.
好主意啊 我也要当无神论者 That's a good idea. I'm gonna be an atheist, too.
我们全都做无神论者吧 Let's all be atheists.
耶 耶 耶 如果真的有上帝 Yeah! - If there was a God,
他又怎么会让我们的孩子被侵犯呢 why would he let our kids be molested in the first place?
耶 让我们杀了上帝 耶 Yeah, let's kill God. Yeah!
没必要吧 只做无神论者就可以了 Well, let's -- let's just be atheists.
一样啊 Same thing.
恩对 Yeah!
神父会... What would the priest...
想要往我们的菊花放什么东东呢 possibly want to put in our butts?
也许- 不 Maybe -- No.
嘿 哥们儿们 嘿 嘿 Hey, dudes. - Hey.
啊 -你们干什么呐 Aah! - What are you guys doing?
我们今天见了一位顾问小姐 We had to go meet with this counselor lady,
她问我们神父有没有把什么东西 and she asked us if the priest
放到过我们菊花里 ever put anything in our butts.
放你们菊花里 In your butts?
是啊 这有什么大不了的吗 Yeah, isn't that the damnedest thing?
他为什么要往你们菊花里插东西呢 Why would he put anything in your butts?
我们也不知道 我们也很想搞明白呢 We don't know. That's what we're trying to figure out.
嗯 嗯 Hmm. - Hmm.
吃了没 孩子们 Hello, there, children.
大厨 神父要插我们菊花怎么办 Chef! What would a priest want to stick up my butt?
再见 Goodbye.
啊 没人会告诉我们 Ohh! Nobody's going to tell us!
我快要疯了 -淡定 Tweek This is gonna drive me insane! - Calm down, Tweek.
肯定有个合理的解释 There has to be a rational explanation.
噢 哥们儿 我想我可能知道了 Oh, dude, I think I might have it.
什么 这个完全合理 What? - It makes perfect sense.
好的 我现在满脑子都是这个想法 Okay, run with me on this.
你吃东西然后从你菊花拉出来 对吧 If you eat food, you crap out your butt, right?
是啊 恩 Yeah. - All right.
继续听我说 现在有点难懂了 Now, keep with me here. It gets a little complicated.
如果你能吃东西并拉粑粑 If you eat food and crap out your butt,
那么你就可以往你菊花里塞东西 then maybe if you stuck food in your butt,
然后从你的嘴里屙出便便来 you would crap out your mouth.
啊 Hmm?
Cartman 这是你这个星期里所说过的 Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said...
最傻逼的话 -一点都不 this week. - Why? That's not dumb!
想想看 食物可以从嘴里进去 从菊花出来 Think about it! Food goes in the mouth, comes out the butt.
就可以从菊花进去 从嘴里出来 Food goes in the butt, comes out the mouth.
一点都不傻 我简直是天才 That's not dumb, that's genius.
不可能的 -你试过吗 It wouldn't work! - Have you ever tried it?
没必要试 肯定不行 I don't need to. It wouldn't work!
我敢跟你打20块钱的赌 肯定行 I'll bet you 20 bucks it'll work!
一言为定 死胖子 -好的 走着瞧吧 犹太佬 You're on, fat boy! - Okay, let's go, Jew!
打倒上帝 Down with God!
Stan 现在你是无神论者了 -你也是了 tweek Stan, you're an atheist now! - You too, Tweek.
打倒上帝 Let's be atheists!
我是什么 I'm a what?
神父们 感谢你们的到来 Fathers, I want to thank you all for coming.
客气 应该谢谢你组织了 No, thank you for finally organizing
这次神父大会 Maxi神父 an all-priest meeting, Father Maxi.
我认为我们应该尽快搞定一些事情 I think we all agree something has to be done quickly.
恩 对 确实是 Hear, hear! - It certainly does!
我不知道你们那里情况如何 Well, I don't know how it's been for all of you,
但是现在常去我们罗林斯堡垒教堂的人减少了63% but attendance at my church in Fort Rollins is down 63%.
我们格林斯夫少了70% I'm down almost 70% in Greenleaf.
是啊 我担心如果事态继续这样的话 Yes, I'm afraid if things keep going the way they are,
我们可能会失去整个基督教 we could lose our entire religion!
是啊 我们必须组织孩子们和群众一样离开 Yes! We've got to stop these boys from going to the public!
他们必须知道他们该闭嘴了 They've got to know to keep their mouths shut.
对 支持 顶 That's right! - Yep!
好的 这样- 等等 什么 Right. And so -- W-Wait a minute. What?
对 我们得找出为什么 Yes, but we've got to find out why these children
孩子们一直被我们侵犯 are suddenly finding it necessary
而现在他们为什么突然敢说出来了 to report that they're being molested.
要从根源上解决问题 -是的 但是怎么解决 Stop the problem at its source. - Yes, but how?
是的 但是 Yeah! - I don't know what...
啊 啊 - 等等 Whoa, whoa! Hold on a second.
问题是孩子们确实被猥亵了 The problem is that children are being molested,
他们并没有谎报 not that they're reporting it!
你什么意思 How do you mean?
好吧 我的意思说 很明显 Well, I mean, obviously what we need to put a stop to
我们必须停止对他们的侵犯 is all the sexual misconduct
教堂里是不允许发生这种事的 that is allowed to take place in our churches,
并不是让他们守口如瓶 not just tell the children not to tell anybody about it.
就是这样 如何 I mean, right?
你猥亵的孩子中有自愿的吗 Well, did any of the children you've molested come forward?
没有 那还是的 No! - That's good.
不 我不是这个意思 我从来不猥亵 No, I mean, I never molested
来我教堂任何一个孩子 any of the children in my church!
好吧好吧 maxi神父 It's okay, Father Maxi.
这里的全是神父 打开天窗说亮话吧 We're all priests here. The doors are closed.
我的天呐 For the love of God!
你的意思是说你们全部都和 Are you all saying that you have engaged
你们教堂的孩子有不正当关系 in inappropriate relations with your altar boys?
我们的职责是散播上帝的光辉 不是伤害无辜的孩子 We are here to bring the light of God, not harm the innocent!
Ha, ha!Ha, ha! Ha, ha!
我是认真的 I'm serious!
神父 猥亵小孩 Father, having sex with boys
是天主教神父生活中的一部分 is part of the Catholic priest's way of life.
恩 对 是啊 Yeah!
我的天 Dear God.
这个问题比我想象中 This problem is much more severe
要严重的多 than I could have possibly imagined.
我必须去梵蒂冈寻求帮助 I have to go to the Vatican and get help!
怎么样 cartman -再等等 Well, Cartman? - Hold on!
天啊 让我屙出来吧 God, let a man crap!
你们干什么呢 -Cartman把食物从他菊花里塞进去 What's going on? - Cartman shoved food up his ass.
现在他想从他嘴里屙出来 And now he's trying to crap out his mouth.
呕 呕 Oh.
屙出来啊 死混蛋 拉出来啊 Well, go on, smart ass, and do it!
我正在努力啊 天啊 再等一分钟 I'm doing it a'eady! God, give me a minute!
你都用了5分钟了 傻X You've had five, dude. - I can't --
你们看着我我办不到 转过身去 I can't do it with you guys watching. Turn around.
不 因为你还是会从屁股里拉出来 No, because you'll just crap out your butt
然后你会说你从嘴里屙出来的 and then say it came out your mouth!
同学们 你们真的认为我会骗你们吗 Do you really think I'd be that deceitful, you guys?
我靠你们 我TMD Oh, God damn it, you guys, I'm so seriously...
呕 呕 Ahh!
真是TMD见鬼 Get the fuck out of here.
耶 耶 我成功了 Yes! Yes, I did it!
我从嘴里屙出便便来啦 I crapped out my mouth!
* 我从嘴里屙出了便便* ♪ I crapped out my mouth ♪
你欠我20块 混蛋 You owe me 20 bucks, dick face!
你看 啊 grazie Well, there you go. Uh...grazie.
喔 我终于到了 Wow. I'm actually here.
梵蒂冈城 Vatican City!
教皇陛下 这是从美国来的maxi神父 Your Holiness, this is Father Maxi from America.
他带来了一个很重要的消息. He has brought this all to our attention.
教皇陛下 Your Holiness.
啊 Rhohhh...
愿上帝与你同在 阿门 Adoramus te, Christe.
愿上帝与你同在 阿门 Et dominus vivo.
红衣主教 主教 神父们 Cardinals, bishops, and priests,
这位从美国来的Maxi神父 an American priest by the name of Maxi
给我们带来了一个最令人不安的消息 has brought to our attention the most troubling of news.
在他的国家里 经常会有关于神父 All over his country, there are reports
在教堂猥亵孩子的报道 of children being molested by men of the Church.
如果这种情况继续下去的话 If things continue this way,
我们就永远不能再和小孩子们搞了 we'll never be able to have sex with young boys again!
是啊- 等等 你说什么 That's right. Wait -- What?!
法国也是 我们发现和小孩子做爱 In France, as well, we are finding it harder and harder
越来越难了 to make love to our boys.
在摩洛哥 他们已经逮捕了5个神父啦 In Morocco, they have arrested five of my priests.
他们来逮捕我们只是时间问题啊 It's only a matter of time before they get the rest of us.
maxi神父 你有没有什么好的建议可以使我们不被抓 Father Maxi, what do you suggest we do to not get caught?
不被抓住 不行 Not get caught?! No!
我觉得我们不应该和小孩子做爱 I think what we should do is not have sex with boys!
梵蒂冈教廷的 It is not written anywhere
戒律里并没有说 in the Holy Document of Vatican Law
和小孩子做爱是错的 that sex with the boys is wrong.
也许我们该修改 Well, maybe we need to change
教廷的戒律 the Holy Document of Vatican Law.
我代表英国教廷发言 Speaking on behalf of the British Catholics,
很明显这位神父没有意识到 it is obvious that the priest doesn't realize
梵蒂冈教廷的戒律是不容侵犯的 that the Holy Document of Vatican Law cannot be changed!
耶 是啊 没错 Yeah! - He's right!
没错 我们是加加怪教廷 Yes, and speaking on behalf of the Gelgamek Catholics,
我认为我们必须 I believe we should move on
找到其他的解决办法 to other solutions to this problem!
耶 Yeah!
加加怪 Gelgameks?
Kyle 你能帮下我吗 Kyle, could you help me out?
我需要帮助 I need some advice.
什么事儿 问题是 What? - It's just that...
我不知道该用你输给我的那20块钱买什么 I can't decide what to buy with your $20!
我是买个19.95块钱的洛克人赛车 I was thinking of getting this Mega-Man racer for $19.95,
还是买2个10快钱的野马训练包裹呢 or I could get two Broncos' trading packs for $10 apiece.
我又想- And then I thought --
孩子 现在我们是无神论者 Oh, boy. Now that we're atheists,
我们不需要饭前祷告了 we don't have to pray for our food.
没错 那就吃吧 That's right. Everyone just dig in.
孩子们 这个周日有什么好玩的事发生吗 So, kids, anything fun happen with your whole Sunday off?
Cartman把他的午餐塞进他的菊花 Uh, Cartman shoved his lunch up his ass
然后从嘴里屙出来了 and crapped out his mouth.
Stanly 真的 他成功了 Stanley! - What? He did!
不 那样不行的 儿子 No, it doesn't work that way, son.
Yeah 没问题的 Yeah, it does.
不 不行 No, it doesn't.
Yeah 行 Yeah. It does.
嗯 嗯 Hgh... hgh...
嗯 Hughh...
啊 Hwaaaaaa...
啊 Ahh!
宝贝 宝贝 快来看 Honey! Honey, come quick!
请听我说 各位 我只是想说 Look, people... I'm just trying to say
如果我们不修改梵蒂冈教廷的戒律 that if we don't change the Holy Document of Vatican Law,
可能所有人都会失去信仰 then we might lose everyone to atheism!
你建议我们修改哪条呢 maxi神父 What exactly do you suggest we change, Father Maxi?
第一条 不许猥亵儿童 Well, for one -- no sex with boys.
梵蒂冈神圣戒律规定 The Holy Document of Vatican Law states
神父 主教和红衣主教不可以结婚 that a priest, bishop, or cardinal cannot get married.
那我们怎么解决我们的性需求 So where are we to get our sex?
我觉得也许我们可以修改下神圣戒律 Well, then, perhaps we could change
使神父 主教和红衣主教可以做爱 the Holy Document of Vatican Law to say that it's okay
不过是和女人 for a priest or bishop or cardinal
和女人 to have sex...with women.
女人 Women?!
女加加怪的阴道有3英寸宽 The Gelgamek vagina is 3 feet wide
并且还有好多锋利的刺 and filled with razor-sharp teeth.
你真的希望我们和她们做爱 Do you really expect us to have sex with them?!
或许我们应该把 O-- Okay, maybe we just need to forget
加加怪的问题先放一放 about the Gelgameks for a second and focus --
先放一放 Forget about the Gelgameks?!
我是说你们加加怪星球 I'm just saying what works on planet Gelgamek
和我们地球上 isn't necessarily going to work
有什么关系 for the rest of us here on Earth.
你看 这就是我们遇到的问题 You see? That's the problem we're having here.
但是戒律是神圣不可侵犯的 But the Holy Document of Vatican Law cannot be changed!
为什么呢 Why not?
因为我们不知道它在哪儿 Because we don't know where it is.
喏 神父 梵蒂冈神圣律法被藏到了 You see, Father, the Holy Document of Vatican Law
我们脚下的圣彼得大教堂的 has been hidden away deep in the catacombs
地下墓穴里 of St. Peter's below us...
这样我们就不能够修改它了 hidden away so that it can never be changed.
但是如果找打它 我们能不能修改它呢 But if we locate it, we could make changes to it?
哈 祝你好运 神父 Ha! Good luck, Father!
神圣律法被鳄鱼 The Document is guarded by water lizards,
响尾蛇和沉砂池守护着 rattlesnakes, and sand traps.
所有尝试找到它的人 最后都死掉了 The fools who tried before to recover it met their death!
我们必须试一试 我们的宗教要灭亡了 Well, we have to try. Our religion is dying!
伙计们 伙计们 看啊 啊 You guys, you guys, look! - Aah!
我去了趟银行 然后我把Kyle输给我的20块钱 I went down to the bank, and I got Kyle's $20 bill
换成了20张1块钱的零钱 turned into 20 single dollar bills!
这又怎样 -怎么样 So? - So?!
我现在可以这样 So now I can do this.
好啊 Yes!
好啊 kyle的钱啊 Yes, Kyle's money.
唔 kyle的钱啊 Mmm, Kyle's money.
你TM去死吧 cartman Go fuck yourself, Cartman!
哦 感觉棒极了 划过我的皮肤 唔 Oh, it feels so good on my skin. Mmm.
起来 死胖子 我要踢爆你的小菊花 Get up, fat boy! I'm gonna kick your ass!
切 kyle 愿赌服输啊 Geez, Kyle, don't be a sore loser.
结束了 okay 我赢了 就这样吧 It's over, okay? I won. Let it go.
你从你嘴里屙出便便了 你牛B啊 So, you crapped out of your mouth! Good for you!
你个傻瓜兼蠢蛋 -哥们儿 看 It's still stupid and immature! - Dude, look!
今晚的头条新闻 Our top story tonight --
这个古老的问题已经有了答案 The age-old question has been answered.
"如果你从屁眼里塞进食物 你能不能从嘴里屙出便便呢?" "If I put food up my ass, will I crap out my mouth?"
现在大家都在讨论问题的 All over the country, people are discovering that,
事实上 你可以 yes, in fact, you will!
让我们听听专家是怎么说的 The surgeon general had this to say...
现在的研究表明 "And the immediate research shows
这样做不是在搞笑 并且与过去传统的 that the act is not only amusing,
进食方式相比还更有益于健康 but, in fact, much healthier for our bodies
大家看 食物反方向 than the old way of eating.
从肛门进入然后会被夹碎 You see, food entering through the anus
这和用嘴嚼碎 has the benefit of being broken down on its way to the stomach
是一样的 rather than afterward.
因此 我们认为这种进食方式 And therefore, I believe that intero-rectogestion
能有效地避免摄取过高的胆固醇 would actually put a stop to high cholesterol
还能有效预防各种胃癌的发生 and most kinds of stomach cancers.
但这个只是我的猜测而已 And I base that on absolutely nothing."
专家表示 这种反向菊花进食法 The surgeon general's response has made Americans
将使美国人民的饮食习惯发生颠覆性变化 change their eating habits almost instantly.
"你个傻瓜兼蠢蛋 cartman." "That's stupid and immature, Cartman."
这就是傻瓜兼蠢蛋 It is stupid and immature!
你让人们都从嘴里屙粑粑 So you got people to crap out of their mouths!
你到底想要什么 傻X勋章 What do you want, a freaking medal?
南方公园的市长宣布 The mayor of South Park has announced
为了表彰首次发现健康的饮食方法 that for first discovering this healthy way of eating,
年轻的市民Cartman将被授予傻X勋章 young citizen Eric Cartman will be given a freaking medal!
啊 Aah!
现在回来 "martha stewart为您现场直播" Back now with more on "Martha Stewart Living."
过去的几天里 我们一直都在说 In the past few days, we've all heard of the benefits
反向菊花进食法 因此烹饪更容易 of intero-rectogestion, and so making foods
塞进菊花的食物就显得尤为重要了 that can easily be inserted into the ass is essential.
大家都知道 Now, everyone knows that some foods
有些食物很容易塞进菊花里的 are simple to shove up the ass --
像布丁 汤 葡萄干啦- puddings, soups, raisins.
这里就是一些美味的葡萄干布丁- This is a nice raisin pudding right here.
但是我们仍然可以享受我们更喜欢的食物. But we can also still eat our favorite foods.
今天我们要做的就是 What we're gonna do today
做一份感恩节火鸡 is prepare a Thanksgiving turkey for intero-recto.
要把火鸡塞进菊花里的步骤如下 Now, the key to shoving a Turkey up your ass
首先用带子捆好 is first wrapping it in string,
把翅膀整理在一起 keeping the pointy wings neatly at the side.
Mrs. Stewart 我们有事找你 Mrs. Stewart, we have some questions.
等会儿 没见我正在专心的做火鸡么 Not right now. I just want to focus on my turkey right now.
现在我们给火鸡涂上润滑油 Now, we're going to baste the turkey
比果汁好哦 with lubricating gel rather than with juice.
这样利于一会从菊花进入 This will help smooth the insertion later on.
烤箱设为温度400度20分钟 We still bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes a pound.
然后我们就可以得到这道菜 And when it's done, we'll get something like this.
看着怎么样 So, now we're ready to go.
很美味把 让我来示范如何“吃”掉它 Looks delicious. Let's try it out.
嗯 Ugnnn...
耶 就是这里 耶 啊 耶 Ohh! Yeah, get it up there. Yeah.
啊 呼 Agh... whew!
这样我们就“吃”掉这只鸡啦 Whew! And that is how you eat a turkey.
明天将带给大家更精彩的节目哦 We'll be right back with more.
你好 Prego!
你好 Uh, hello.
我是美国来的maxi神父 My name is Father Maxi from the United States.
你在寻找什么 神父 What do you seek, Father? - I...
我是来寻找教廷神圣戒律的 I'm trying to find the Holy Document of Vatican Law
找到后我们要修改它 so that we can make revisions to it.
圣典就在这扇门背后的某个地方 That gospel lies somewhere beyond this door.
里面将会有许多试炼等待着你 But...many trials await thee inside.
只有完全虔诚于主的人 Only he whose heart truly belongs to the Lord
才能够成功找到它 -我必须要试一试 shall make it through. - I have to try!
我们的宗教到了危急存亡的时刻 Our religion is in trouble, and --
这是我们唯一的希望了 and that scroll may be our only hope!
勇往直前吧 Then prepare yourself.
试炼开始 The time of trials begins.
愿上帝与你同在 阿门 Adoramus te, Christe!
祝你好运 神父 I wish you luck, Father.
运用好你的力量智慧和信念 Use all the strength, agility, and faith that you have.
很好 Very well.
开始吧 Here we go.
嗯 这里有个梯子诶 Hmm, there's a ladder up here.
天啊 响尾蛇 Oh, my God, a rattlesnake!
赶紧上去! A way back up!
我成功了! I made it!
感谢上帝 感谢您指引我的方向 Praise be to God! He hath shown me the way!
就是这个了 This must be it...
梵蒂冈教廷神圣戒律 the Holy Document of Vatican Law.
sharon和我现在都是无神论者 小日子真舒服啊 Well, Sharon and I are having a great time being atheists.
我都不敢想象我以前要去教堂 I, for one, can't believe I used to live my life
还要读那么一本古老的虚构的圣经 by what a very old and very fictional book used to say.
确实如此啊 听一些穿着法袍的人 Well, it's true. I mean, what do a bunch of stories
屠宰羔羊的故事 about people in robes slaughtering goats
会对现在的世界起什么作用吗 have to do with today's world?
很明显无神论使我们的生活更加美好 Atheism has definitely made our lives better.
我做了些油炸玉米粉饼 你们要不要来点儿 I made some quesadillas if anybody wants some!
哦 Ooh!
如果有人想要屙粑粑 And if anybody needs to potty,
就可以吐在这个篮子里 there's a potty basket right here.
谢谢 sharon Oh, thanks, Sharon.
我和我老婆都在担心 You know, for Martha and I, we're worried
把孩子养育成无神论者可能会很艰难 we might have a hard time raising our son atheist.
我是説 -哦 谢谢 I mean -- Oh, thank you.
我是説在这样一个基督教的社会里 I mean, it could end up being very difficult
要让孩子们变成无神论者还是很难的 raising an atheist child in such a Christian society.
我觉得我可怜的儿子无论到哪 I feel like everywhere my poor son goes,
都有可能被人洗脑 he's being persecuted for his beliefs.
说的没错 如果我要让我儿子变成无神论者 That's true. If I'm gonna raise my son to be atheist,
我不会让他每天在学校説"上帝与你同在" I don't want him saying "under God" every day at school.
这是对他的摧残 That could really damage him.
"上帝与你同在"应该从- 不好意思- "Under God" should be taken out of the -- Excuse me.
啊 Hhhhwaaaa...
"上帝与你同在"应该从宣誓仪式上去掉 "Under God" should be taken out of the Pledge of Allegiance.
是的 我赞同 That's right. I agree. - Yes.
还要清除他们的价值观 And it should be taken off of money, as well.
我们国家的宗教主义者 The religious right in this country
正在试图使我们的孩子相信他们所- is trying to force our children to believe what they --
啊 Ahh.
我们不能让他们污染我们的孩子了 And we can't let the religious right corrupt our kids!
是啊 没错 That's right. - That's right.
红衣主教 主教 神父们 maxi神父回来啦 Cardinals, bishops, and priests, Father Maxi has returned!
他找到了神圣律法 And he has the Holy Document of Vatican Law!
他是怎么闯过鳄鱼那关的 How did he make it past the water lizards
没错 我带回了神圣律法 Yes, I have returned with the Holy Document of Vatican Law,
我们现在可以修改它了 so can we please change it now
将禁止猥亵小孩写进律法 to say it's not okay to have sex with boys?
等等等等 Wait! Wait!
教皇陛下有话要说 The Pope wants to say something!
教皇说我们必须征求最高领导意见 The Pope says we shall ask the highest source!
啊 啊 Ahhhh!Ahh!
哦 天呐 Oh, my!
奉主之名 The holy one!
有请伟大的蜘蛛圣女 Behold the great Queen Spider!
万岁 蜘蛛圣女 Hail, Queen Spider.
蜘蛛圣女 Queen Spider?
哦 伟大的蜘蛛圣女 Oh, great Queen Spider,
请指引我们的方向 we seek your guidance.
你们想知道什么 What do you ask of me?
伟大的蜘蛛圣女 我们想要修改梵蒂冈的戒律 Great Queen Spider, we wish to change one of the Vatican rules.
梵蒂冈圣律是神圣不可侵犯的 The Vatican rules cannot be changed.
圣女也这么说 So sayeth the spider.
去啊 maxi神父 看你能不能说服她 Go on, Priest Maxi, see if you can convince her.
好吧 就这样吧 老子受够了 All right, that does it! I have had enough!
你们这群人落伍了 You people have completely lost touch with the outside world!
你们就知道做在这里和加加怪 蜘蛛圣女在一起 You sit in this big room with your Gelgameks
你们这群白痴根本 and your Queen Spider, and none of it
不懂真正的天主教义 applies to what being a Catholic is all about!
可是梵蒂冈神圣律法说了- But the Holy Document of Vatican Law states that --
见鬼去吧 樊帝岗神圣戒律 To hell with the Holy Document of Vatican Law!
伙计们 伙计们 You guys, you guys!
我又去了趟银行 I took Kyle's $20 down to the bank again,
我把Kyle的20块钱换成了硬币 and I got it changed into quarters!
那 那我就可以在这个游泳池里 So? - So now I can dump them
整天和他们在一起啦 into this little pool and swim in them all day long!
好啊 Yay!
kyle的钱钱. Kyle's money.
Cartman 我得跟你谈谈了 Cartman, there's something I need to tell you.
哦 什么事 kyle Ooh, what's that, Kyle?
你完全正确 100%的正确 You were totally, 100% right.
什么 What?
你打赌赢了 你完全正确 You won the bet. You were totally accurate
你说你可以从嘴里屙粑粑 about being able to crap out your mouth,
我感到很失败 and I've just been frustrated
因为事先我没有考虑清楚 because I didn't think of it first.
我希望你能好好地用那20块钱 我为你的洞察力所折服 I want you to enjoy that money because you really impressed me
我也很骄傲我是你的朋友 with your insight, and I'm proud to have you as a friend.
你-他-妈-的 kyle You son of a bitch, Kyle!
我讨厌你 I hate you!
好消息 stan 梵蒂冈倒塌了 Great news, Stan. The Vatican is burning down!
我们无神论者胜利啦 Score one for us atheists!
走 tweek 我们回家看电视报道去 Come on, Tweek, we're gonna go watch on TV!
烧掉它 Burn it down!
完了 全完了 Gone. It's all gone.
Well 谢谢了 Maxi神父 Well, thanks a lot, Father Maxi.
你毁灭了我们的宗教 -没 我没有 You've killed our religion. - No, I didn't!
我只是把你们那傻逼的律法毁了 All that's dead are your stupid laws and rules.
你们已经忘记了 怎样才算是一个真正的基督教徒 You've forgotten what being a Catholic is all about --
这本书 this book.
你们看到了么 只是一本故事会 You see, these are just stories --
这些故事是要 stories that are meant to help
指引人向善的 guide people in the right direction.
关爱邻里 做一个好人 Love your neighbor. Be a good person.
仅此而已 That's it.
当你们利用这些故事 And when you start turning the stories
为你们统治阶级和权力服务的时候 into literal translations of hierarchies and power,
你们 你们就已经背离上帝了 well -- well, you end up with this.
人们正在失去他们的信仰 People are losing faith because they don't see
人们对宗教失去了信心 因为你们都变成了这样 how what you've turned the religion into applies to them.
他们已经和宗教的信念失去了联系 They've lost touch with any idea of any kind of religion,
当他们没有值得他们信仰的神话的时候 and when they have no mythology to try and live their lives by,
他们就开始从嘴里往外大便 they just start spewing a bunch of crap out of their mouths!
他刚才说什么 What was that last bit?
其实 我为自己是一个天主教徒而自豪 Look, I-I'm proud to be a Catholic.
但是我是现实世界里的天主教徒 But I am a Catholic in the real world --
在当今世界里 in today's world.
你们也应该那么做 It's time for you all to do that, too.
是时候 改变了 It is time...for change.
他说的对Sharon He's right, Sharon.
我们不用相信圣经里的每一句话 We don't have to believe every word of the Bible.
那只是帮助我们生活的故事 They're just stories to help us live by.
我们不应该抛弃圣经 We shouldn't toss away the lessons of the Bible
只是一些混蛋把他玷污了 just because some assholes in Italy screwed it up.
啊 randy我再也不想从屁股进食了 Oh, Randy, I don't want to put food up my butt anymore.
哎 我认为我们欠上帝一个道歉 Gang, I think maybe we owe God an apology.
那是不是说我们周日还必须要去教堂 Does this mean we have to go to church on Sundays again?
不 我是说 我们会去 No...it means we get to, son.
我们会去 It means...we get to.
啊 Hwaaaaa...