-=南方公园贴吧=- 翻译:小南很欣赏我 校对:小南方 Tears 双语合成 教主zanki
南方公园 第6季第1集 怪胎大罢工 S06E01 Freak Strike
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
今天 在 maury povich秀 Today on "The Maury Povich Show" --
这些可怜的不幸的人们 these poor, unfortunate people
这些都有着严重畸形的人们 all have horrible disfigurements.
将被我们深入挖掘 仅为博你一笑 And you won't believe how we exploit them for your amusement!
听起来不错 That sounds pretty good.
呜呜 Mrph rmhmhm rm.
嘿 kenny Hey, Kenny!
呜呜 Mrph rmhmhm rm.
相当牛x kenny That's awesome, Kenny.
NND 哥们 我不是kenny Now, gosh darn it, fellas, my name's not Kenny.
-Kenny 死了 -好的 非Kenny. - Kenny's dead. - Okay, not-Kenny.
而且我再也不会穿这件衣服了 I'm not gonna wear this coatanymore neither.
我可以成为你们的朋友 I should be able to be you guys' friend
但我不要穿着kenny的旧衣服 without wearing Kenny's old coat.
闭嘴先 非kenny Shh. Be quiet, not-Kenny.
Maury畸形秀开始了 The Maury Povich freak show is on.
哦 好吧 Oh. All right, then.
我们的下一位嘉宾是一个小女孩 Our next guest is a little girl
他天生没有身体的中间部分 who was born without a midsection.
有请damla jones Please welcome Damla Jones.
你好 maury Hello, Maury!
啊 恶心 Oh, sick, dude!
你是一个勇敢的小女孩 我为你感到骄傲 You're a very brave little girl, and I'm very proud of you.
谢谢 Thank you.
你能告诉观众你有多么的痛苦么 Can you tell the audience how miserable your life is?
啊 是的 Uh, yes, it is.
哈哈 你真可爱 You're a cutie.
在学校里 其他孩子是不是取笑你呢 Do the other kids at school sometimes make fun of you?
有时 Sometimes.
人们会不会盯着你看 Do people sometimes stare at you?
有时 Sometimes.
他们会说 哦 恶心 那究竟是什么东西么 Do they go, "Oh, gross. What the hell is that thing"?
我不知道 Um, I don't know.
你妈妈告诉我你很喜欢听音乐 Well, your mommy told us you like to listen to music.
怎么了 Yes.
你猜怎的 damla Well, guess what, Damla.
我们将给你300块的 We're gonna give you a $300 gift certificate
Torrance CD世界 礼券 to CD World in Torrance!
好的朋友们 请稍候 All right, everyone. Stay tuned.
接下来我们将会见一位女士 Because next we're gonna meet a woman
她的头被彻底毁容了 whose head was smashed in on a logger.
我们将会给她化化妆 And we're gonna give her a makeover!
哥们 这太可怕了 This is terrible, dude.
Maury povich在节目里展示他们 Maury Povich parades these poor people around on his show
就象一个畸形狂欢节 like carnival freaks
最后再给他们礼物从而证明这是合理的 and then gives them prizes at the end as if to justify it.
真是操蛋啊 What a dick.
哥们 我们中的一个应该装作有病 Dude, one of us should make up some disease
然后去maury povich秀 这样就能得到礼品了 and get on "The Maury Povich Show" so we can get a prize.
酷 -对啊 Cool! - Oh, yes!
肯定非常棒 That'd be awesome.
你觉的他们会相信么 Do you think they'll believe it?
应该说有什么病呢 -安静 安静 What disease should we say? - Shh. Be quiet, you guys.
你好 请问是maury povich么 Hello. Is this Maury Povich?
哦 那你是谁 Oh. Well, who the hell are you?
哦 Oh.
我是看了你们的畸形招募广告才打电话过来的 Well, I'm calling about your ad for freaks.
对 我是说伤残人士 Right. I mean people with disabilities.
对 我有个朋友 他有些畸形 Yeah, I have a friend. He has a deformity.
我想他非常适合你们的节目 I think he'd be perfect for your show.
好 Great!
他什么情况 His condition?
他下巴上有蛋蛋 Uh, he has a condition called Chin-Ball-Alitis.
没错 他蛋蛋就挂在他下巴上 Yes, his balls actually hang from his chin.
给我闭嘴 S-Shut up, you guys.
对 Yes.
对 他当然很烦恼 Yes. Of course. He's very upset about it.
对 他一直在哭 相当痛苦 Yes, he cries all the time. Miserable. Uh-huh.
-你想 真的 -什么 - You wa-- Really? - What?
哥们 他们说后天让他坐飞机过去 Dude, they say they'll fly him out day after tomorrow!
酷毙了 Awesome! - Cool!
是的 我想我能说服他去参加这个节目 Yes, I'm sure I can convince him to come on the show.
那应该会有礼品吧 There will, of course, be a prize involved?
好的 我1个小时后打回去 Great. I'll call you back in an hour.
不 应该谢谢你 No. Thank you.
搞定 Yes!
肯定很有趣 -当然 This is gonna be so funny! - It sure is!
但我们怎么才能把蛋蛋放到butters的下巴上呢 But how are we gonna get the balls put on Butters' chin?
对 怎么才能放到 等下 butters的下巴 Yeah, how are we gonna -- Wait. Butters' chin?
是啊 -但那是我 Yeah - But that's me.
我是butters -我们知道 I'm Butters. - We know.
就是你去做 Butters You're the one doing it, Butters.
你以为我们说谁呢 Who'd you think we were talking about?
打住 等下 Well, hold on just a second, you guys.
嘿 我知道怎么把蛋蛋放上去了 Hey, I know how we get the balls on Butters' chin.
街头的那些喜欢星际迷航的傻x Those Star Trek dorks down the street.
经常做一些面具和特效 They're always making crazy masks
用于那个无趣的电影 and special effects for their dumb movies.
然后呢 -对 Hang on, now. - Yeah!
我打赌他们肯定会做假蛋蛋 I'll bet they could make a fake set of balls.
走吧 butters -等等 Come on, Butters! - Wait!
为什么非要是我 -必须是你 butters Why does it have to be me? - It has to be you, Butters.
你自己想想 -对 Think about it. - Yeah.
但伙计们 如果我去maury povich秀 But, fellas, if I go on "Maury Povich"
下巴上还挂着蛋蛋 with-- with my balls on my chin,
我爸妈肯定会气疯的 my parents are gonna be really mad.
我们会告诉你父母 We'll just tell your parents
我们和我爸妈一起去野营了 we're going on a camping trip with my parents.
他们不会知道的 -不好意思 They'll never know. - I'm sorry.
但我的答案是 啊哼 啊哼 啊哼 But the answer is unh-unh. Unh-unh, unh-unh.
Kenny肯定会做的 Kenny would've done it.
那又怎么 我告诉你们过了我不是kenny So? I told you guys before. I'm not Kenny.
我们知道 我们肯定知道 We know. Believe me, we know.
我们时时刻刻都在提醒自己你不是 kenny We're reminded every day that you're not Kenny,
因为kenny太酷了 because Kenny was cool.
上帝啊 我多么希望kenny还活着啊 Yeah. God, I wish Kenny was still alive.
他肯定会在下巴上放蛋蛋的 He'd put balls on his chin.
他就是这样一个牛x又义气的朋友 He was such an awesome friend.
我们 走吧 Well, come on, guys.
如果butters不肯为我们把蛋蛋放到下巴上 If Butters won't even put balls on his chins for us,
我想我知道我们是什么情况了 I guess we know where we stand.
是啊 Yeah.
啊 天 Aw, gee whiz.
你们保证我爸妈不会知道 You -- You promise my mom and dad won't find out?
现在我们要用快干胶粘住这些橡胶 Now, we're going to apply the latex with some spirit gum.
这些胶水真臭 That spirit gum sure is stinky.
你们从哪搞的蛋蛋 Where'd you get the balls from?
我门做了一个他下巴的石膏模型 We made a plastic mold of his chin
在做一个橡胶阴囊并放进去两个高尔夫球 and then made a latex scrotum and put two golf balls inside.
很好 Nice.
现在我们只要上下色 Now we just blend the skin tones,
在加几根毛 变变变 add a little hair, and presto!
喔哦 Wow!
太牛x了 That looks awesome!
我感觉好傻x Oh, I feel silly.
他们在你身上 看起来好极了 butters -的确 They look great on you, Butters.They really do.
我想你该给我们报酬了 I believe you owe us payment now.
星战第一部的原始剪辑 All right. The original Avid cut of "Star Wars: Episode One."
喔哦 -他们没说谎啊 Wow! - They weren't lying!
为什么他们一定要那个 Why the hell would they want that anyway?
第一部垃圾的可以去舔蛋蛋了 "Episode One" sucked balls.
对 去舔butter下巴上那个多毛的蛋蛋 Yeah, it sucked hairy Butters' chin balls.
嘿嘿 打住 Hey! Stop it, man!
去纽约的Gay air flight 243航班 Gay Air flight 243 with service to New York
准备登机 now ready for general boarding.
你的航班 butters -好了 你的票 That's your flight, Butters. - Here's your ticket.
你到了会有车接你 就在大门那 They're gonna have a car waiting for you at the gate in New York.
等下 你们不跟我一起 Wait. You guys aren't coming with me?
当然不了 那样就不能在电视上看到你了 Hell no, dude. Then we couldn't watch you on TV.
哥们 我不干了 Hold on a minute, guys. I've changed my mind.
我不想去了 I don't want to go.
天啊 butters要做的事情是多么牛x啊 God, isn't Butters awesome for doing this, you guys?
对 他就是这么牛x Yeah, he sure is.
加油干吧 给我们带礼物回来 Doing all this to bring us back a prize.
多棒的朋友啊 What a great friend.
Butters butters Butt-ers! Butt-ers!
那好吧 明天见 All right, then. See you guys tomorrow.
孩子 十分感谢你能过来 Thanks for coming on the show, kid.
能和你见面 Maury非常激动 Maury is very excited to meet you.
这里是休息室 This is the greenroom, where you can hang out
你可以和其他人一起在这里等着 过会喊你上台 with the other guests until we call for you on set.
下巴上长蛋蛋的男孩 头上长脚的先生 Boy With Balls on Chin, this is Man With Foot on Head,
有迅速衰老病的女孩 相貌丑陋的乡村歌手 Girl With Rapid Aging Disease, Disfigured Country Singer,
以及没脸的男人 and Man with No Face.
喔 被勺子挖走脸的家伙 我之前在电视上看到过你 Wow. Scooped-Out-Face Guy. I've seen you on TV before.
恩 这是我第6次上镜了 Yes. This is my sixth appearance.
我一会回来 I'll come back in a bit, folks.
收到 Hey, Roger,
但这个糟糕的素食盘里 是什么鬼东西 what the hell is with these horrible veggie platters?
上次给你们说过了 我们要新鲜蔬菜 Yeah. We told you last time we want fresher vegetables.
不好意思 但这就是工作室提供的 I'm sorry. This is what the studio provides.
孩子过去坐吧 Just take a seat on the couch, kid.
我一会回来 I'll be back in a minute.
下巴上长蛋蛋的男孩 Boy With Balls on His Chin.
之前没见过你 Haven't seen you around.
你进这个圈子多久了 How long you been on the circuit?
什么圈子 -脱口秀的 What circuit? - The talk-show circuit.
别告诉我这是你第一次参加节目 Don't tell us this is your first one.
问的好 Well, yeah.
你们已经做过很多期节目了 You've all done it more than once?
Oprah的节目2次 jenny jones的1次 "Oprah" two times, "Jenny Jones" once,
Sally jessy的5次 "Sally Jessy" five times.
jenny 的你只做了一期 You've only done "Jenny" once?
我讨厌jenny的节目 Oh, I hate doing "The Jenny Jones Show".
他们甚至没有自己的发型师 They don't even have their own hair people.
我明天去jenny的节目 I'm doing "Jenny" tomorrow.
孩子 你选了个好节目当初演 Yeah. You picked a good show to do first, kid.
但你要知道点行规 But you need to learn the ropes.
全国有很多和你一样的人 There are a lot of people like you all over the country,
我们都靠脱口秀生活 and we all do talk shows for a living.
我们都互相认识 We all know each other
而且我们很团结 and we all kind of stick together
这样才能保护好这个行业 to make sure our industry is protected.
对 有些人会假装畸形 Yeah, like when someone lies about being a freak.
啊 有人这样做 哼 Oh, they-- they do, huh?
是的 他们伪装畸形 Yeah, they'll make up a fake condition
然后参加节目 赚走我们的钱 to go on these shows and then take our money away.
我们对这些人可不手软 We don't take kindly to that.
我显然知道这是为什么 I can certainly see why.
现在人们不会这样做了 It's okay. Folks don't do it anymore.
至少在他们看见我们怎么对待龙虾男孩后 Not after they saw what we did to Lobster Boy.
龙虾男孩 Lobster Boy?
龙虾男孩曾经经常上镜 Yeah, Lobster Boy used to make appearances
出现在各个脱口秀 on all the talk shows.
他曾是电视上最出名的畸形人 He was one of the most popular disfigured people on TV.
但有天 我们发现了 But then one day, we all found out
龙虾男孩根本不是畸形 that Lobster Boy wasn't a real freak at all.
他本来就是一只龙虾 He was just an actual lobster.
可恶的骗子 Lying sack of crap.
你知道我们怎么做了它么 -怎样 So you know what we did to him? - What?
一天晚上 我们集合在一起 One night, all us freaks got together,
然后活煮了它 and we boiled him alive.
从此再也没龙虾男孩了 Now Lobster Boy is no more.
对 我也很讨厌作假的人 Oh. Yeah, I hate when people fake conditions, too.
这些愚蠢的骗子 Those stupid fakers.
我们很高兴你可以认同 We're glad you agree.
好了 下巴长蛋的男孩 Okay, Boy With Balls on His Chin.
你是下一个 You're up next.
哦天 帮我渡过难关吧 Oh, Jesus. See me through this.
今天 Maury Povich秀 Today on "The Maury Povich Show,"
我们不仅请回了大家喜爱的畸形人 we bring back some of our favorite disfigured people
而且象你们介绍一些新人 and introduce you to some new ones.
到他了 -这绝对很牛x Here he comes! - This is gonna be awesome!
下以为嘉宾遭受了罕见的出生缺陷 Our next guest suffers from a rare birth defect
使他的睾丸和阴囊从下巴上长了出来 which caused his testicles and scrotum to grow from his chin.
睾丸和阴囊 Testicles and scrotum!
有请8岁的napoleon bonaparte Please welcome 8 1/2-year-old Napoleon Bonaparte
来自科罗拉多的南方公园 from South Park, Colorado.
十分感谢你能来 Thanks so much for coming on our show.
不客气 我想 Oh, that's okay, I-I suppose.
与众不同是不是很艰难 So is it tough being... different?
啊 是的 Uh, yeah.
是不是学校里的孩子都在取笑你 And do all the kids at school make fun of you?
当然 They sure do!
他们总是说 butters 你不是kenny They always say to me,"Butters, you're not Kenny."
但我从来没说过我是kenny But I never said I was Kenny.
他们总说kenny会这样做会那样做 They say Kenny would do this and Kenny would do that.
啊哦 要出问题了 -我已经厌倦了 Uh-oh. We're losing him. - I'm tired of it.
伙计们 听见没 You hear me, fellas?
kenny已经死了 你们必须接受这个事实 Kenny's dead, and you just have to deal with it.
啊 我的意思是 孩子会不会取笑你 Uh, yeah, but I mean, do the kids at school make fun of you
因为你的缺陷 because of your condition?
什么缺陷 What condition?
你下巴上长有蛋蛋 You have balls that hang off your chin.
我有么 啊哦 I do?! Uh, oh.
我是说 我有 I-I mean yeah, I do.
恩 学校里的孩子经常因此取笑我 Uh, yeah, the kids at school make fun of me for that.
哇哦 -这还差不多 Whew! - That was close.
在学校他们喊你什么 What names do they call you at school?
啊 我想他们喊我 下巴蛋蛋男孩 Oh, well, um, I guess they call me, uh, Chin Ball Boy
和 蛋蛋下巴男孩 and, uh, Ball Chin Boy.
当我走路的时候 他们会说 那有个会走的下巴蛋蛋 When I'm walking, they'll say, "Hey, there goes Chin Balls."
他们是否喊你畸形或者怪人 And do they call you "freak" and -- and "weirdo"?
是的 我想 Uh, yeah, I suppose.
他们是否指着你大笑 And do they point at you and laugh?
他们是否让你觉的不应该来到这个世界上 Do they make you wish you'd never been born,
让你想去结束 make you wish to put an end
这所有痛苦的一切 to the whole miserable, wretched earth?
恩 是的 Uh, sure.
napoleon 我们为你准备了一个惊喜 Well, Napoleon, we have a surprise for you.
来了 来了 -礼品礼品 Wait. Here it is. Here it is. - The presents!
你是如此坚强的下巴蛋蛋人 Because you are such a brave little chin-balled man,
我们会直接把你从演播室送到 we're gonna send you directly from this studio
世界上最大的putt-Putt高尔夫球场 to the world's largest putt-putt golf course in the world!
真的 Oh, really?
哦喔 Wow.
他是不是说全世界最大的 Putt-Putt 高尔夫球场 Did he say the largest putt-putt golf course in the world?
去吧 你现在就可以去了 Go on. You're going right now.
那不公平 But that's not fair.
butters可以过去我们却不行 That means Butters gets to go and we don't.
这是我们策划的 Yeah! We thought of the whole thing.
butters又一次惹恼了我们 Oh! Once again, Butters is trying to screw us over!
那个混蛋 That asshole!
你好 是maury povich秀么 Hello. Is this "The Maury Povich Show"?
是的 你好 Yes. Hello.
我看了你们的电视节目所以打电话过来了 I'm calling because I saw your television program,
我下巴下面同样也有蛋蛋 and I also have balls hanging from my chin.
我想过去谈谈我的情况 或许可以得到 I'd like to come talk about my disorder and perhaps get
一次免费去世界上最大的putt-Putt高尔夫球场的机会 a free trip to the largest putt-putt course in the world.
不好以为 我们已经不做畸形秀了 I'm sorry, but we're done doing freak shows for now.
我们在找符合新主题的人 We're looking for people for a new topic.
什么主题 What's the new topic?
请帮助我那不受控制的孩子 "Please Help my Out-of-Control Child."
嘿 我就是不受控制的 Oh. Hey, I'm out of control.
真的 Really?
你妈妈是否整天哭泣 Is your mother in tears every day
因为你一点都不听话 -当然 over how disobedient you are? - Uh, sure!
他是否担心你吸毒或者有性行为 Does she worry about you doing drugs and having sex
在如此小的年龄 at such a young age?
当然 我吸食可卡因 说脏话 而且乱交 Yeah! Sure! I-I do crack and potpourri and g-greasies.
很好 Well, that's great.
如果你能让你妈妈和你一起来 If you can get your mom to come with you,
我们很乐意给你一次免费航班 we'd love to fly you out.
我妈妈 My -- My mom?
妈咪 Mom.
怎么了 亲爱的 Yes, sweetie?
你能帮我个忙么 Could you do me a favor?
怎么了 我的小伙计 What's that, my little man?
你能和我一起去maury povich秀么 Could you, um, go on "The Maury Povich Show" with me
而且你要说我吸毒做爱 and say that I'm out of control and do drugs and have sex
这样我就能去 so I can go to the largest
世界上最大的Putt-Putt 高尔夫球场 putt-putt golf course in the world?
恩 可你并没有这么顽劣啊 小宝贝 Hmm. But you're not out of control, muffin.
你是我最乖的小宝贝 You're my perfect little gumdrop.
所以我让你帮我说个谎啊 I'm just asking you to lie for me.
你是爱我的 对么 -当然 You love me, don't you? - Of course I do.
哦 我有个多么好的妈妈啊 一个如此好的妈妈 Oh, I have such a pretty mother, such a wonderful mother.
亲爱的 别 -那就这么说定了 Sweetie, don't.- Then it's settled.
哦 我有一个这么好的妈妈 Oh, I've got such a great mother,
这么漂亮的妈妈 such a beautiful mother.
你究竟想做什么 butters Just what did you think you were doing, Butters?
你不仅仅对我们说谎 Not only did you lie to us
说你和kyle一家去野营 and say you were on a camping trip with Kyle's family.
你还在电视节目上说谎 You made a fool of yourself and us on national television.
对不起 I'm sorry, Mom.
可是说对不起现在没用 Well, sorry isn't gonna make it this time, mister.
你知不知道 你奶奶因看你那个节目导致轻微脑溢血 You know, your grandmother saw the show and had a mild stroke.
哦天 我并不是想气死奶奶 Oh, gee. I-I didn't mean to almost kill Grandma.
我保证我永远不会上电视时下巴上挂着蛋蛋了 I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.
哼 你最好不要再这样做 Ugh. You better believe you won't, buster.
你爸爸和我现在要出去 Your father and I have to leave now
看望你在医院里的奶奶 to visit Grandma in the hospital.
现在你可以把你下巴上的蛋蛋拿掉 But you can just take those balls off your chin
回你卧室了 and march right up to your room.
是的 Yes, ma'am.
真是活该 Serves me right.
把蛋蛋放下巴上 还为此说了谎 Putting balls on my chin and lying about it.
为什么我要被禁闭一个星期 Why, I should be grounded for a month.
为什么我要做这些事情 为什么我不能做我自己 Why do I do these things? Why can't I behave myself?
嘿 butters 那些节目里的其他畸形人 Hey, Butters, those other freak people from the show
正在到处找你 -哦天 真的 were just here looking for you. - Oh, Jesus! They were?
他们想把你找回来 Yeah.They wanted to find you bad.
哦天 你告诉他们什么了 Oh, God. What'd you tell them?
我告诉他们哪里能找到你 I told them where to find you.
什么 为什么你要这样做 What?! Why the heck would you do that?
他们是想杀了我 因为我是假装残疾 They want to kill me for not being a real freak.
哦 Oh.
好吧 谁让你耍我们 活该 Well, it serves you right for screwing us over.
哦天 不要 Oh, Jesus, no!
他们要活煮了我 就象对待龙虾男孩那样 They've come to boil me alive, just like Lobster Boy.
我最好立即闪人 Aah!I got to get out of here.
等下 我哪也不能去 我被禁闭了 Wait! I can't go anywhere.I'm grounded.
哦天 这太糟了 Oh, Christ! What a pickle!
Napoleon?
Napoleon Bonaparte?
我想他在上面 I think he's up here.
你们出了 什么情况了 Oh, hello, folks. What's the problem?
找到你了 下巴蛋蛋男孩 There you are, Boy With Balls on His Chin.
我们有个重大消息 工会在罢工 We've got big news. The union is striking.
什么工会 -哦 这就是你们过来的原因 The union? Oh, that's why you came?
我们厌倦了毫无价值的礼品 We're tired of our crappy prizes,
所以 工会主席 so the union president,
一个皮肤极差的男人 Man With Terrible Skin Condition,
让我们集合所有人 has told us to round everyone up.
我不能去 Oh, I can't freak-strike, fellas.
因为我被关禁闭了 I-I'm grounded.
为什么被禁闭了 Grounded for what?
因为有个蛋蛋在我 哦 我是说没什么 For having balls on my -- Aah! I mean nothing.
我没被禁闭 I'm not grounded.
那好 你可以和我们一起游行了 Good.Then you can march with us.
全世界的畸形联合起来 - Freaks of the world...- Unite!
今天在maury povich的节目上 Today on "Maury Povich,"
这些妈妈不知道对失控的孩子该做些什么 these moms don't know what to do with their out-of-control kids.
堕落的男孩和女孩 Young boys and girls so whorish on our show
以及儿童色情 that it borders on child pornography!
我们在这里和妈妈们谈话 We're here talking with moms
她们认为她们的孩子已经无法控制了 who think their children are out of control.
vanessa 说她13岁的女儿vanity Now, Vanessa here says that her 13-year-old daughter, Vanity,
已经吸毒并和年长的男性发生了性关系 is already doing drugs and having sex with older men.
喔 Oh!
Vanessa vanity对你说了什么 Vanessa, what does Vanity say to you
当你让他去做作业时 when you tell her to do her homework?
她说她恨我 She says she hates me.
她喊我傻x She -- She calls me "retard".
她说我的阴道已经干涸 没人喜欢 Then she says my cooze is all dried up and nobody wants it.
喔 Aw!
好吧 我们请她出来 这位是vanity Well, let's bring her out. Here's Vanity!
怎样 怎样 Whatever. Whatever.
你们一群傻x啥都不懂 You fucking cocksuckers don't know shit.
CNM的 Fuck you!
喔 Oh!
喔 你还真是个不受控制的少年 Wow. Vanity, you are really an out-of-control teen.
随便你们 Whatever!
Maury 我妈妈不知道 你可以问问她 Maury, my mom don't know shit. You can aks her.
我问我伙计们是否同意 I aks all my homies if they be down with it.
这知道 这就是坨屎 You know, it's all good.Shit.
你们一群吹喇叭的 Fuck you, cocksuckers!
天 那女孩子牛x极了 Geez. That girl is pissed off.
好了 cartman一家 你们2分钟后上台 Okay. Cartman family,you're on in two minutes.
为什么你就是不能听话和爱我呢 Why can't you just listen to me and love me and --
-噢 -闭嘴 - Oh! - Shut up!
闭嘴 你个没水的婊子 Shut the fuck up,you dried-up skank!
我很高兴你不是这个样子的 宝贝 I'm glad you're not like that, poopsy-kins.
但如果我不是最无法控制的 But if I'm not the most out-of-control teen,
我就不能赢得奖品了 I might not win the prize.
不好意思 我想去换个装 Excuse me. I want to make a quick change.
哪里是衣柜 Where's wardrobe?
右边第2个门 Second door on the right.
罢工 罢工 Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!
罢工 罢工 罢工 罢工 罢工 罢工 Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!
兄弟姐妹们 是时候了 Brothers and sisters, the time has come for us to be treated
我们要我们应得的尊重 with the respect we deserve!
我们是一群坚强而多样化的人 We're a strong and diverse group of people,
我们有长着螃蟹腿的女士 with members like Woman With Crablike Body,
肥的不可思议的黑人 脑子长外面的男人 Incredibly Obese Black Person, Man With Brains Outside of Head,
和 liza minelli. and Liza Minnelli.
脱口秀只给我们一点小恩小惠 The talk shows have us on and give us little gifts and perks
而他们却赚了大把的钞票 while they make tens of thousands of dollars!
我告诉他们我们的要求 他们居然笑着说 We told the talk shows our demands, and they laughed!
他们可以找到很多其他愚蠢的嘉宾 They say they can get plenty of other stupid guests
去参加他们的节目 to go on their shows,
所以我们必须阻止其他人参加 so we must picket those other guests.
哦天 我得走了 我可不能这么做 Oh, guys, I-I need to go. I can't picket, guys.
你不愿意去纠察 You're not gonna picket?
谁不愿意 Who's not gonna picket?
下巴上长蛋蛋的男孩不愿意 Boy With Balls on Chin doesn't want to picket.
只是因为我父母 我不能参加纠察 It's just that my parents are --I can't picket.
为什么 你又不是工贼 对么 Why?You're not a scab, are you?
不 我不是工贼 No, I'm not a scab.
现在 我们分下组 设立纠察线 Now, we will split up into groups and form picket lines.
第一组由胖的不可思议的黑人领导 The first group will be led by Incredibly Obese Black Man.
不好意思 我不是胖的不可思议的黑人 Excuse me. I'm not Incredibly Obese Black Man.
我是我是黑的不可思议的胖人 I'm Incredibly Black Obese Man.
哦好 我的错 Oh. Right. My bad.
现在我们来看看更多无法控制的孩子 And now back to more kids who are out of control,
在maury povich秀 on "The Maury Povich Show"!
下一位母亲是 liane cartman Our next mother is Liane Cartman.
她的儿子宣称是这个世界上最无法控制的孩子 Her son claims to be the most out-of-control kid in the world
而且他愚蠢的妈妈无可奈何 and says there's nothing his stupid mom can do about it.
哇哦 Aw!
为什么你们都要这样做 Why won't you kids behave?!
哦 -闭嘴 婊子 Oh! - Shut up, skank!
他不是在和你说话 He's not talking to you!
cartman女士 你管不住你的孩子 So, Ms. Cartman, you can't control your child?
哦 我的亲亲小宝贝有时候会不听话 Oh, my little poopsy-kins gets into no-nos once in a while,
但他仍是我的小心肝 but he's still my perfect little sumpsy-kittles.
你儿子在后台拍了段视频 我们来看看 Well, your son made a video backstage. Let's take a look.
Maury 我无法无天 Maury, I am out of control.
对 我吸毒 我想做什么就做什么 婊子 Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I want, bitch.
对 我做爱不用套 Yeah, I have sex, and I don't use protection.
这是我火辣的躯体 我想做什么就做什么 It's my hot body. I'll do what I want.
我不上学 我杀人 I don't go to school, and I kill people.
我无所谓 我想做什么就做什么 Whatever! I'll do what I want.
哦 多么可爱啊 Oh, he's such a cutie.
我们有请Eric Cartman Well, let's bring him out. Here's Eric Cartman!
怎样 怎样 Whatever! Whatever!
Maury我妈妈根本管不住我 问她 Maury, my mom can't control me. Aks her!
你可以问她 Go on. Ask her!
Cartman女士 你儿子喜欢做什么 Ms. Cartman, what does your son like to do?
哦 他喜欢和他的clyde青蛙还有wellington熊一起玩 Ooh, he loves playing with his Clyde Frog and Wellington Bear.
妈 我们应该在表演 忘了么 性和毒品 Mom, we're pretending, remember? Sex and drugs.
哦 我是说 性和毒品 Oh. I mean sex and drugs.
哦 Oh!
怎样 怎样 Whatever! Whatever!
我想做什么就做什么 I'll do what I want!
哦 切 你根本不算什么 Oh, whatever. You ain't tough, ho.
我群交 I run with gangs.
真的 我和12个人群交 Oh, yeah? I run with 12 gangs.
我们犯仇恨罪 And we only commit hate crimes.
我想做什么就做什么 Whatever! I'll do what I want!
随便你 Whatever!
你不坏 你什么都不是 You ain't bad.You ain't nothing.
我翘课在学校的厕所注射海洛因 I ditch class and go shoot heroin in the school bathroom.
切 我去国会辩论还赢了 Whatever! I ran for Congress and won.
我和一个实习医生发生关系 然后杀了她并藏尸 Then I had sex with an intern, killed her, and hid her body.
怎样 我想做什么就做什么 Whatever! I'll do what I want!
-我们要什么 -更好的礼品 - What do we want? - Better prizes!
-什么时候要 -现在 When do we want them? - Now!
-我们要什么 -更好的礼品 What do we want? - Better prizes.
-什么时候要 -现在 When do we want them? - Now, I guess.
先生 我真的要回家了 Sir, I really got to go home.
我爸妈会生气的 My parents are gonna be sore at me.
Napoleon有些事情你必须了解 Napoleon, you need to understand something.
为了一个工会的运转 每个成员 For you a union to work, all members must be prepared
都要做出一定的牺牲并且团结一致 to make sacrifices and stick together.
但我必须回家了 But I got to get back to my family.
我们就是你的家人 Napoleon 我们和你是一样的 We're your family too, Napoleon. We're like you.
当我们看着你的时候 我们看到的 When we look at you,
不是你下巴上的睾丸 we don't even see the testicles on your chin.
而是你心里的睾丸 We see the testicles in your heart.
-我们要什么 -更好的礼品 - What do we want? - Better prizes!
-什么时候要 -现在 When do we want them? - Now!
哦 MD 这只会越来越糟的 Oh, hamburgers. This just keeps getting worse.
好了 伙计们 我们要过去 Okay, folks. We're gonna have to move along.
为什么 我们是工会 我们有权利罢工 Why? We're a union, and we have a right to picket.
我很遗憾 I'm sorry,
但是政府 并不承认你们的工会 but the government does not recognize you as a union.
你们必须闪人 You'll have to go.
你在说什么 What are you saying?
只是因为我们的外在 That because of our appearance,
我们的组织就不重要了 our organization is less important?
不 我没有说 Now, now, now, I'm not telling you people
你们的工会不重要 that your union doesn't matter.
而是说 你们根本就不是真正的人 I'm just telling you that you're not really people.
好了 既然这样 All right. That does it.
是时候亮出我们的最后武器了 It's time to bring out the big guns.
准备录象袭击 Prepare the video sabotage.
哦 不 不要放录象 Oh, no. Not the video sabotage.
谁会是最不受控制的孩子呢 Who is the most out-of-control child?
让我们回到现场 We're back with Maury.
我们和妈妈们谈谈 We're here talking with moms
她们认为自己的孩子已经无法控制了 who think their children are out of control.
无所谓 Whatever!
我用手屠杀了5只海豹宝宝 I slaughtered five baby seals with my bare hands.
怎的 我想做什么就做什么 Whatever! I'll do what I want!
现在我们来和joline谈谈 Now let's meet Joline.
Joline 说她的女儿同样无法控制 Joline says that her daughter is also out of control,
她总是和年长的男人调情 that she's flirting with older men --
而且她只有4个月大 and she's only four months old.
哦 Oh!
恩 就是这样的 Maury Mm-hmm.That's right, Maury.
我们有请 chantal Let's bring her out. Here's Chantal!
joline你能具体的描述一下么 So, Joline, exactly how is your daughter out of control?
你说和男人们调情 You say she flirts with older men?
Maury 事情是这样的 Maury, it's like this.
不管什么时候我朋友到我家 Whenever I have friends over to the house,
Chantal会在客厅跳华尔兹 Chantal will come waltzing into the living room
而且全裸 completely naked!
哦 Oh!
切 我帮人飞车射杀人 Whatever. I helped in a drive-by shooting.
怎样 Whatever!
切 我把贾巴鼻涕虫 I digitally put Jabba the Hutt
放进了原版的starwars里 back into the original "Star Wars" movie.
我想做什么就做什么 I'll do what I want!
喔 那是太出格了 Wow! That is out of control.
昨天晚上 Why, just last night,
我叫了三位绅士来我家里 I had three gentlemen callers over to my house,
然后 chantal脱掉她的衣服 就当着所有人的面 and Chantal took her clothes off right in front of everybody!
卟 Boo!
你看见没 她开始了 You see? There she goes. There she goes.
你个死不要脸的妓女 Whore! You goddamn whore!
请注意了 maury节目的观众 Attention, "Maury" viewers.
这什么鬼东西 What the hell is this?
在美国 有很多老老实实工作的正经畸形人 A lot of decent, hardworking freaks in America
正在失去脱口秀的工作 他们有着不同的情况 are losing their talk-show jobs to freaks of a different nature.
的确 我们每个人都是畸形 Sure, everyone in this great country of ours is a freak.
但身体上残缺的人必须被认同 But true, physically deformed freaks must be recognized,
正是这些真正的残疾才让你们感觉好一点 for it is these real freaks that make you all feel better
因为你们不属于我们 about yourselves for not being one.
所以当你以后看电视的时候 So next time you're watching television,
请确保那是一个畸形中的畸形 make sure it's a show with freak freaks
而不是那些从 and not just with people that are freaks
南方过来的愚蠢的垃圾 because they're stupid trailer trash from the South.
这就是当我们说 寻找真正的残疾标签时的意义 That's what we mean when we say look for the True Freak label.
去看真正的残疾吧 ♪ Look for the True Freak label ♪
当你在看电视脱口秀 ♪ When you are watching a TV talk show ♪
请记住 某处有个工会在成长 ♪ Remember somewhere a union's growing ♪
我们的薪水也将足够养育孩子 ♪ Our wages going to feed the kids ♪
负担的起住房 我们努力工作 ♪ And run the house ♪
我们努力工作 ♪ We work hard ♪
但谁在抱怨 ♪ But who's complaining? ♪
我们是T.F.U. 我们在走自己的路 ♪ With TFU, we're making our way ♪
所以去找真正的畸形吧 ♪ So always look for the True Freak label ♪
因为你需要我们 ♪ Because you need us right here in the USA ♪
对不起 观众朋友们 一点小故障 Uh, sorry, America. A little glitch there.
总之 -他们是对的 Anyway - They're right.
我们不应该走过那条纠察线 We should've never crossed that picket line.
走吧 亲爱的 Come on, honey.
等等 回来 Wait. Wait.Come back!
或许我们可以让其他失控的孩子 Maybe we can make the other out-of-control kids
也脱掉他们的衣服 take their clothes off, too.
切 我会在maury的裤子里拉屎 Whatever! I'll crap in Maury's pants!
收视率正在直线下降 Sir, the ratings have just started to plummet.
这些可恶的畸形 Aah! Those damn freaks!
我给你们鞋子 给你们杂货 I gave you shoes and groceries!
你们就这样报答我 And this is how you repay me?
好的很 Very well.
你们可以上来 我们谈判 Come upstairs and...we'll negotiate.
我们做到了 罢工起效了 We did it! The strike worked!
现在我们可以继续我们的工作了 Now we can go on with our careers.
谢天谢地 终于结束了 Oh, thank God that's over.
我终于可以回家了 Now I can get back home.
Butters 你害我没了礼物 又一次 Butters, you have screwed me out of a prize for the last time!
哦 这下死定了 Oh, double hamburgers.
哦天 Jesus Christ!
那个失控的孩子 That out-of-control kid
拿掉了可怜的napoleon的蛋蛋 ripped poor Napoleon's balls right off!
抓住他 -啊 Get him! - Aah!
煮了他 Boil him!
嘿 这次似乎结果不错 Hey, things actually turned out okay for me this time.
Butters!
哦 我就知道 Oh, I know.