-=风软FRM字幕组=- 翻译:安 evelynjiao 校对:evelynjiao Tears
第5季第5集 传奇背后 S05E05 Terrance and Phillip Behind the Blow 双语合成 刘磊
* 欢迎来到南方公园 * ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
* 享受一段美好时光 * ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
* 友善的面容随处可见 * ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
* 淳朴的居民乐天知命 * ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
* 我要到南方公园转一转 * ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
* 把烦恼丢天边 * ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
* 阡陌交通 秩序井然 * ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
* 邻里和睦 相亲相爱 * ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
* 径直奔向南方公园 * ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
* 快活似神仙 * ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
* 大波妹子把手牵 咪咪大到我疯癫 *♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
* 快来南方公园 * ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
* 和好友谈笑风生 * ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
她的一生就在谎言 暗箭伤人 And so, in her career filled with lies, back-stabbing
以及卖淫中度过 and whoring herself for money,
她知道成名的代价就是 she learned that the price of fame can be
在一个黑暗肮脏的小巷中 一次接待65个男人 pleasing 65 men at once in a dark, dirty alley.
Punky Brewster 传奇的背后 剧终 And so ends Punky Brewster: Behind the Blow.
哇 真是失望啊 老兄 Whoa, bummer, dude.
好了 兄弟 已经3点半了 Okay, dude, it's 3:30.
欢迎收看Terrance和Phillip节目 It's time for The Terrance and Phillip Show.
Yay!
对不起 兄弟 Excuse me, buddy.
为什么 你放屁了吗 Why, did you fart?
不是 Oh no!
老兄 这是重播 Oh, man, this is another rerun.
你确定? 我没看过啊 Are you sure? I haven't seen it.
是的 肥猪 这是他们有名的"修理工"那一集 Yeah, fatass, this is their famous mechanic sketch.
我在找修理工 I'm looking for a mechanic.
能告诉我怎么去汽车修理厂吗 Can you tell me how to get to the auto garage?
可以 老兄 你只要走到... Sure, buddy, all you need to do is go down to the--
你就能... and that's how you--
"到汽车修理厂了" "get to the auto garage."
你再告诉我怎么去汽车修理厂时 Could you tell me
能不能不放屁啊 how to get to the auto garage without farting?
当然 你顺着同一条路走 Sure, you go the same way--
"然后用你的手指堵住你屁眼呀" "except stick your finger up your ass."
不 不 不 No, no, no.
我意思是你能不能再说下怎么去 I mean could you tell me the directions again
但是不要放屁 without you farting?
当然可以 Oh, sure.
用手指堵住我屁眼就行了 Just stick your finger up my ass.
好吧 没问题 老兄 Alright, no problem, buddy.
告诉我 我要怎么去汽车修理厂找修理工? Now tell me how do I get to the auto garage to see a mechanic?
你已经在汽车修理厂了 我就是修理工 You're at the auto garage. I am the mechanic.
真见鬼 你怎么不早说? Why the heck didn't you tell me you were the mechanic?
"因为我屁股痒" "Because I had an itch up my ass."
因为我屁股痒 Because I had an itch up my ass.
广告过后 Terrance and Phillip will be right back...
Terrance和Phillip马上回来 after these messages.
他们什么时候能出个新的? When are they gonna make new ones?
孩子们 千万不要错过本年度的盛宴 Hey, kids, don't miss the greatest event of the year.
本周三晚在丹佛大剧场 This Thursday night at the Denver Coliseum,
你将见到Terrance和Phillip本人 see Terrance and Phillip live and in person.
这是什么? What's this?
就此一晚 仅此一晚 One night and one night only,
你将见到Terrance 和Phillip的现场真人秀 see all your favorite Terrance and Phillip bits live.
我的天哪! Oh my God!
伙计们 伙计们 You guys, you guys!
我知道 我知道 I know, I know.
订票请拨打热线 就是现在! To order tickets, call Ticket Slave now!
记下号码来 记下号码来! Write the number down! Write the number down!
兄弟 你买到没? Dude, did you get 'em?
我买到了 I got 'em.
四张Terrance和Phillip的票 第68排的 Four tickets, 68th row to Terrance and Phillip.
我早上3点就排队在等了 I waited in line since 3:00 this morning.
酷啊 快把我的给我 Awesome, give me mine.
哇 你们要去看 Terrance和Phillip的真人秀? Wow, you guys are gonna see Terrance and Phillip live?
是的 就是明晚 Yup, tomorrow night.
好了 孩子们 都坐好 Alright, children, let's settle down.
如你们所知 这个星期五是地球日 As you know, this coming Friday is Earth Day,
我很荣幸的宣布 and I'm pleased to announce
国家地球日组织 that the national Earth Day organization
已经把我们南方公园选为 has chosen South Park as its location
地球日洗脑大会的举办地了 for the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival.
Oh!
欢迎地球日洗脑组织的部长们 The heads of the Earth Day Brainwashing Organization
给我们说几句话 are here to tell you all about it.
孩子们 你们好 我知道你们肯定都很兴奋 Hello, children, I know you're all very excited
因为在你们镇上即将举行 about having the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival
地球日洗脑大会 put on in your town.
你们都很关心地球 对吗 You care very much about the Earth, don't you?
是的 yes.
很好 因为就靠你们 Good, because it's up to all of you
来吸引更多的人 把这场活动办得更盛大了 to get lots of people to come and make it look great.
大会就在星期五 The festival is on Friday,
所以明晚我们就要布置好会场 so we'll start getting it ready tomorrow night.
什么? What?
每个人都得参加 We've all gotta pitch in.
对不起 但我们四个明晚不能来帮忙 I'm sorry, but the four of us can't help tomorrow night.
是的! Yeah! Yeah!
你们...什么? You...what?
我们明晚要去丹佛 We got tickets to see Terrance and Phillip live
看Terrance和Phillip的真人秀 in Denver tomorrow night.
我们都花了40美元买票的 We paid 40 bucks a piece for them.
Terrance和Phillip And Terrance and Phillip
比地球母亲更重要? are more important than Mother Earth?
是的 老兄 Well, yeah, dude.
你们不关心Terrance和Phillip You don't care about Terrance and Phillip.
没什么比没有什么比从共和党人手中 Nothing matters more than saving the planet
拯救地球更重要的了 from Republicans.
没有去见Terrance和Phillip的必要了 You don't need to see Terrance and Phillip.
不 老兄 我们得去 真的得去 No, dude, we really, really do.
他们好执着呀 Their will is strong.
男孩们 抱歉 但没什么比地球日更重要了 Boys, I'm sorry, but nothing's more important than Earth Day.
但这就是我们去的原因啊 Uh, but that's why we're going.
Huh?
我们是Terrance和Phillip See, we're the official presidents
粉丝俱乐部的部长 of the Terrance and Phillip Fan Club
我们明天去看他们 and we're going to see them tomorrow
是因为我们能请他们 'cause we can get them to perform
到地球日晚会上来表演 at the Earth Day festival.
你们能让Terrance和Phillip来表演? You can get Terrance and Phillip to perform?
那不错呀 That would be great.
Terrance和Phillip能吸引到 Terrance and Phillip would draw huge ratings
全国各地成千上万的小孩来 from children all over the country.
很好 孩子们 我们来准备这的节目 Very well, kids, we'll work on getting the event ready here
你们就去请Terrance和Phillip and you go get Terrance and Phillip.
好的 Alright!
但我警告你们 But I warn you,
你们最好不要向来地球日的人们 you better not promise things to Earth Day people
开空头支票 that you can't deliver.
地球日组织的人们可是非常无情的 Earth Day people can be very unforgiving.
没问题 没问题 Heh-heh, no problem, no problem.
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen...
举起你们的双手 一起来欢迎Terrance! put your hands together for Terrance!
丹佛的朋友们 你们好! Hello, Denver!
老兄 Terrance怎么这么肥 Wow, dude, Terrance got really fat.
是呀 他看上去真诡异 Yeah, he looks terrible.
今晚你们感觉如何 嗨不嗨? How are you all feeling tonight, pretty good?
Uh-oh.
你们还记得这个吗 Hey, do you all remember this one?
"医生 医生 我屁股好像裂开了" "Doctor, doctor, I think I cracked my ass."
Phillip说"让我来看看" Phillip, "let me take a look."
"靠近点看" "Look closer."
Uh...
Phillip搞什么鬼去了? where the hell is Phillip?
Phillip Phillip!
Phillip Phillip Phillip Phillip!
Phillip, Phillip, Phillip, Phillip!
现在为你们呈现一些 Terrance和Phillip的经典喜剧 And now, for some classic Terrance and Phillip comedy.
嗨 Terrance Hello, Terrance.
嗨 Phillip Hello, Phillip.
Phillip? 那不是Phillip Phillip? That's not Phillip.
Phillip 我有个问题想问你 Say, Phillip, I have a question for you.
好呀 放马过来吧 Okay, shoot.
老兄 这都在搞什么鬼? Dude, what the hell is going on?
为什么把Phillip给换了? Why'd they replace Phillip?
我觉得这个新来的挺有趣的 I think this new guy's funny.
现在是Terrance和Phillip的经典小品 And now here's a classic Terrance and Phillip sketch
在第62集里面的 that I wrote back in '62.
抱歉 先生 你知道谁在放屁吗 Excuse me, sir, do you know who farted?
当然是他 He sure did.
那个人叫什么? What's the person's name?
- 谁(这个放屁的人就叫谁) - 放屁的那个人 Who. - The guy that farted?
- 谁 - 那个在排放废气的人 Who? - The person that passed gas.
谁在排放废气 Who passed gas?
你为什么问我呢 Now, why you askin' me?
那就是那个人的名字 That's the man's name.
那是谁的名字啊? That's whose name?
是的! Yes!
Terrance和Phillip幕后 Something very terrible has happened
肯定出大事了 in the world of Terrance and Phillip
我们得弄清楚 and we've got to find out what.
听着 老兄 我只是想搞清楚 Look, buddy, all I'm trying to find out is,
那个放屁的人的名字 what's the guy's name that farted?
那个喝自己尿的人是谁? What's the guy that drank his own urine?
谁? Who?
快来 大伙 我们去后台 Come on, guys, we're getting to the bottom of this.
对不起能让下吗 Excuse us.
你们想干嘛? Where do you think you're goin'?
没事的 我们是Terrance和Phillip It's okay, we're the Official Presidents
粉丝俱乐部的部长 of the Terrance and Phillip Fan Club.
那排到 Then get in the
"Terrance和Phillip 粉丝俱乐部部长"那去 "Official President of Terrance and Phillip Fan Club" line.
天呐 还真哈皮 Oh, dude. Gay.
你搞清楚哟 You don't understand,
我们曾救过Terrance和Phillip we saved Terrance and Phillip's lives once.
你们和几千个人 都同时救过他们的命 You and about a thousand other people at one time or another.
现在从我眼前消失 Now get outta my face.
乡巴佬! Redneck!
兄弟 这真恶心 Man, this sucks.
你们也是部长? Are you guys official presidents too?
别和我们讲话 小孩 Don't talk to us, kid.
看那边的队 要短多了 Hey, look at that line, it's way shorter.
我们既不是女人 也不是随便的妓女 I don't think we're female groupies or random sluts.
Kenny就是随便的妓女 Kenny's a random slut.
或许我们可以偷偷溜进去 快来 Well, maybe we can sneak in over there, come on.
Shh.
真美味 Mmm, mmm, yummy.
能见到你真是太好了 It was so great meeting you.
我觉得我们都融为一体了 I feel like we really shared something.
当然咯 Betty We sure did, Betty.
下一个! Next!
你好 Terrance 我是你的重量级粉丝哟 Hello, Terrance, I'm such a huge fan.
真是挺重量级的 You're a huge fan, alright.
能在我在胸上签个名吗 Could I just have you sign my breasts?
那我有什么好处? What do I get in return?
随你想要什么 Whatever you want.
好呀 那真好 宝贝 Oh, yeah, oh, that's good, baby.
Terrance 我爱你 我爱你 Oh, Terrance, I love you. I love you.
我爱你 我爱你 I love you. I love you.
老兄 真难闻啊 Man, it smells down there.
天哪 这么快 Jesus Christ, that was fast.
我们该叫他什么呢 Jerry怎么样? Well, what should we name it, how 'bout Jerry?
搞什么鬼 What the hell?
哇 四胞胎 Oh, wow, we had quadruplets.
Aah!
我们不是四胞胎 Terrance We're not quadruplets, Terrance.
我们是藏在那女人的 裤子里溜进来的 We snuck in that woman's spandex to get in here.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
我不想再多几个孩子了 The last thing I need is more kids.
你们想要什么 亲笔签名还是什么? What do you want, an autograph or something?
不是 有件事比那更重要 No, it's more important than that.
我们学校在举行一场 盛大的地球日晚会 Our school is putting on a big show for Earth Day
我们保证了能邀请到你去演出 and we promised people we could get you to perform.
地球日 哈? Earth Day, huh?
听起来是个高尚的活动啊 That sounds like a very noble cause.
演出费是多少? How much does it pay?
-但Phillip去哪了? 谁? But where's Phillip? - Who?
Phillip 你的搭档 Phillip, your partner.
为什么每次人们一见到我 Why is it that every time somebody sees me,
就要问我"Phillip在哪?" they have to say, "hey, where's Phillip?"
我们俩又没结婚 Like we're freakin' married or something.
告诉你们这群小土豆们个秘密 Y'know, I'll let you tater tots in on a little secret.
Phillip就是个打杂的 Phillip is a hack.
知道是谁写的 Terrance和Phillip的这些剧本吗 You know who wrote all the Terrance and Phillip stuff?
是我 Phillip除了读出他的台词外 什么都没做过 Me. Phillip never did anything but read his lines.
但那个代替他的人很烂啊 But the guy that replaced him sucks.
我知道 我知道他很烂 I know. I know he sucks.
说实话 最近出了点状况 To be honest, things haven't been going so well lately.
我最近都没赚到钱 I'm not making any money
因为大家都想见Phillip because everyone wants to see Phillip.
为什么? Why?
Phillip他妈的都做过些什么啊? What the hell does Phillip do?
因为这是"Terrance和Phillip"啊 Because, dude, it's "Terrance and Phillip."
管他的 Ugh, whatever.
重点是 Phillip和我已经分道扬镳了 The point is, Phillip and I are through
所以表演就这样结束了 钱也没了 and apparently so is the act and so is the money.
如果我们能让Phillip再回来呢 What if we can get Phillip to agree to get back together?
你们能去演出吗 Will you do the Earth Day show for us?
希望你们能运气好找到Phillip Ha, good luck getting Phillip.
他因为想做"更加严肃的东西" 而离开了 He left because he wanted to do "more serious stuff."
我听说他最近 The last I heard
在多伦多做加拿大版的莎士比亚表演 he was doing Canadian Shakespeare in Toronto.
多伦多? Toronto?
但我们向地球日的人们保证了 你们会去表演的 But we promised the Earth Day people you'd perform.
那样的话 Well, in that case,
那我只能说你们四个自求多福吧 I'd say you four boys are up fart creek without a paddle.
干活 干活 孩子们 Work, work, children.
离地球日只有两天了 干起来! We only have two more days until Earth Day, work!
对不起打扰下 我爸爸是个地理学家 Uh, excuse me, my daddy is a geologist
他说现在并没有明确的证据显示 and he says there actually isn't any concrete evidence
全球变暖 of global warming.
那不是真的 That's not true.
全球变暖会毁灭全人类的 Global warming is going to kill us all.
都怪共和党那些人 The Republicans are responsible.
谢谢你 Thank you.
不 老兄 Oh no, dude.
你们回来了 男孩们 Oh, there you are boys.
我需要关于Terrance和Phillip的资料 I need Terrance and Phillip's information
这样我才好安排他们的表演顺序 so I can tell them their schedule.
-我们没邀到他们 -什么? Uh, we didn't get them. - You what?
他们俩已经不在一起表演了 老兄 They're not together anymore, dude.
你最好告诉我你是在开玩笑的 You better be joking.
我们已经宣布了他们会来的 We've already announced their participation.
听着 我们或许能请到Terrance Look, we could probably get Terrance,
只是他换了个搭档而已 but he'll be performing with this other guy.
但当初已经说好了 会是Terrance和Phillip的 You promised us Terrance and Phillip.
我们已经向全世界宣布了 会请到Terrance和Phillip We, therefore, promised the world Terrance and Phillip.
你们必须请到Terrance和Phillip You will get us Terrance and Phillip or else.
但是我们也无能为力 But there's nothing we can do.
Phillip现在在加拿大表演莎士比亚的剧 Phillip is doing Shakespeare in Canada now
那你们最好滚去加拿大请他 Then you better get your asses to Canada and get him.
我们会安排好旅程的 We'll make travel arrangements.
没什么比环境更重要了 孩子们 Nothing is more important than the environment, boys,
甚至你们的命都没它重要 Not even your lives.
同志们 我想我们得去加拿大了 Well, guys, I guess we're going to Canada.
真好 Sweet.
Ugh! Ah!
拉开他们吧 他们急了 Part them, they are incensed.
不 来 再打 Nay, come again.
大家看看皇后 老兄 Look to the queen there, buddy.
双方都在流血 您还好吗 殿下? They bleed on both sides, how is it, my Lord?
您怎么样 雷尔提? How is it, Laertes?
就像只自投罗网的小鸟 奥斯里克 Why, as a woodcock to mine own springe, Osric,
我活该被自设的诡计害死 I am justly killed with my own treachery.
皇后怎么啦? How does the queen?
她见血就晕过去了 Hey, guy, she swoons to see them bleed.
我亲爱的哈姆雷特 我中毒了
Oh, my dear, Hamlet, I am poisoned.
哎呦 狠毒呀 把门拴上 Oh, villainy, ho, let the door be locked.
奸计 露出你的面孔罢 Treachery, seek it out.
它就在此 哈姆雷特 哈姆雷特呀 你已经死定了 It is here, Hamlet. Hamlet, thou art slain.
天下再好之良药对你也无效 No medicine in the world can do thee good.
你将活不过半个时辰 In thee there is not half an hour of life.
奸诈之凶器正握在你的手中 The treacherous instrument is in thy hand,
它未上护套 并涂有毒汁 unbated and envenomed.
这宗诡计已转过头来害了我自己 The foul practice hath turned itself on me.
你看 我躺在此 将永远不能再起 Lo, here I lie never to rise again.
你母亲也被下毒了 我已无能再说了 Thy mother's poisoned. I can no more.
国王 国王就是罪人 The king, the king's to blame.
剑尖也涂了毒药 the point, envenomed too.
那么 去发挥你的毒性罢 Then, venom to thy work, buddy!
叛国 叛国! 叛国! Treason, treason!
朋友们 求你们救救我罢 我受伤了 Oh, yet defend me, friends, I am but hurt.
去罢 你这个乱伦 杀人 该死的丹麦王 Here, thou incestuous, murderous damned dane.
去痛饮你的这剂药罢 你的珍珠还在里头吗 Drink of this potion, is thy union here?
尾随我的母亲去罢 Follow my mother.
这是他的报应 那是他自己调的毒药 He is served, it is a poison tempered by himself.
高贵的哈姆雷特 我们互相饶恕吧 Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet.
我和我父亲的死怪不得你 Mine and my father's death came not upon thee
你死也怪不得我 nor thine on me.
上天恕你无罪 我也跟你去 Heaven make free of it, I follow thee, guy.
我要死了 霍拉旭 可怜的王后 再会了 I am dead, Horatio, wretched queen, adieu.
你们这些看见这一幕意外的惨变 You that look pale and tremble at this chance, buddy,
而战栗失色的无言的观众 thou are but mutes or audience to this act,
倘不是因为死神的拘捕 had I but time--
不给人片刻的停留 as this fell sergeant death is strict in his arrest--
啊 我可以告诉你们 可是随它去吧 oh, I could tell you, buddy, but let it be.
霍拉旭 我死了 Horatio, I am dead.
你还活在世上 Thou livest, guy,
请你把我行事的始末根由昭告世人 解除他们的疑惑 report me and my cause aright to the unsatisfied.
不 你不会这样 Never believe it.
我虽然是个丹麦人 可是我却更像一个古罗马人 I am more an antique Roman than a dane.
这儿还留剩着一些毒药 Here's yet some liquor left, buddy.
额滴亲娘类 这还有完没完了 Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ, is this thing ever gonna end?
他已经得到我这临死之人的同意 He has my dying voice, so tell him with the occurrence
你可以把这儿所发生的 一切事实告诉他 more and less which have solicited,
此外仅余沉默而已 the rest is silence.
一颗高贵的心现在碎裂了 晚安 亲爱的王子 Now cracks a noble heart, good night, sweet prince
愿成群的天使们用歌唱抚慰你安息 and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, buddy.
- Phillip Phillip! - 啊? Phillip, Phillip! - Yes?
我们来自科罗拉多 我们镇被选为今年地球日的主办方 Our town in Colorado was chosen
我们需要一个宏大的演出 to host Earth Day this year and we need a big act.
真的吗 Oh, really?
这次哈姆雷特的演出要结束了 This run of Hamlet is closing down, I'm afraid,
我们可以去你们那儿继续 we could take it there.
呃 我们在想如果你能和Terrance Uh, well we were thinking how cool it would be
重新联手的话该有多好... if you and Terrance got back together for a reunion--
打住! Stop right there!
我不会和那个自大的胖子合作的 I'm not doin' nothin' with that fatass egomaniac.
但是我们需要你 But we need you.
不让我修改剧本 and not letting me change the act.
那些桥段都老掉牙了 It's old and stale.
你们真的觉得那些放屁的笑话 I mean, do you really think
到现在还好笑吗? that fart jokes are funny for that long?
听着 如果你不来表演 Look, if you don't come and do the show,
我就让你把你爸妈吃了 I'll make you eat your parents.
随便你了 小屁孩 Yeah, whatever kid.
他真的会这么做的 伙计 He'll do it, dude.
听着 Phillip Uh, look, Phillip.
南方公园的所有人 都想看看你认真的一面 Everyone in South Park just wants to see your serious side.
- 什么? - 什么? What? What?
他们说"那个Phillip很有才华 They told us, "that Phillip, he's the one with talent.
-让他来参加地球日吧 -真的吗 Just get him for Earth Day." - Really?
听上去挺有趣的 报酬是多少? Well that sounds interesting, how much does it pay?
-2000美元 -好的我参加 $2,000. - I'm in!
详情打这个号码,我得走了 Here, call me at this number with the details, gotta run.
伙计 你没跟他说Terrance也会去 Dude, you didn't tell him Terrance would be there.
我也没说他不会去啊 I didn't say he wouldn't be there, either.
瞧 我们只需要把他们请到那里 对吧 Look, all we have to do is get them there, right?
一旦Terrance和Phillip重聚 Once Terrance and Phillip get together again,
就会像以前那样了 it'll be like old times.
Kyle 你可真是 Oh, Kyle, you just made a huge withdrawal
撒了个弥天大谎 at the "First Bank of Lies."
不...不会有事的 It'll--it'll be okay.
动作快点 Work faster.
快点 孩子们 地球日就快到了 Faster, children, Earth Day is coming.
孩子们 现在是彩排时间 Well, boys, it's rehearsal time
可你们的Terrance和Phillip还没出现 and your Terrance and Phillip haven't shown up.
他们说会来的 They said they'd come.
我想他们马上会到的 I'm sure they'll be here any minute.
也许你们还不清楚地球日 Maybe you kids don't understand
对地球的未来多么重要 how important Earth Day is for the future of our planet.
也许你们需要一些说教 Maybe you need some convincing.
Karl Karl.
Ahh!
哦 天啊 Oh, my God!
不好意思 这里是不是 那个什么地球日的? Excuse me, is this where the Earth Day crap is happening?
他来了 He's here.
哦 太好了 Phillip先生 我是Jack Forest Oh, very good. Mr. Phillip, I'm Jack Forest,
地球日委员会的负责人 head of the Earth Day committee.
感谢您参加这次重要的活动 Thank you for being a part of this important event.
这无所谓 我的支票呢? Whatever, where's my check?
好了 我到了 我去哪里... Alright, I'm here, where do I--
他在这儿干嘛? what's he doing here?
好了 我们来排练吧 Alright, let's do a rehearsal
让摄制组看一看 so that the camera crew can get a look at it.
哇 这是不是很棒 Wow, isn't this great,
你们又见面了 You guys seeing each other again?
你们肯定想要叙叙旧 Yeah, you must have a lot of catching up to do
不过我们还是先彩排吧 but let's rehearse first.
这是你搞的鬼吧 Terrance So, this is your doing, huh, Terrance?
我搞的鬼? My doing?
这些孩子打电话给我 说这是你的主意 These kids called me and said it was your idea
还说你想跟我道歉 and that you wanted to apologize.
拜托了 你们两个 这是为了地球日 Please, you guys, this is for Earth Day.
你们难道不在乎地球母亲吗 You care about Mother Earth, don't you?
好吧 管他呢 Well, what the hell?
反正我已经大老远飞到这儿了 I already flew all the way out here.
不过我要支票上写我的名字 而不是我们两个的 But I want my check made out to me, not both of us.
我也是 Ditto! - Fine.
我们会讲到濒临死亡的鲸鱼 Alright, we'll come off the speech of the dying whales
然后 开拍 and then, action.
医生 医生 我的屁股裂开来了 Doctor, doctor, I've cracked my ass.
真的吗 让我看看 Really? Let me take a look.
靠近点 Look closer.
你的屁闻上去有接骨木的香甜味... Yon fart doth smell of elderberry sweet--
不是这句台词 白痴 That's not the line, asshole.
没错 但这句台词更好 白痴 You're right, it's a better one, asshole.
按剧本念就好了 蠢货 Just do the bit right, dick face!
你咋不去再吃些布丁呢 Why don't you go eat some more pudding,
你这个胖子 you fatass drug addict!
我或许是胖 但我至少没烫头发 I may be fat, but at least I didn't get hair plugs.
我受够了 That's it!
我不会和这个脑残合作的 I ain't doin' nothin' with "Kooko the Whale"!
我本来就不需要你 蠢驴 I never needed you in the first place, you hack!
你们不能走 演出马上就要开始了 You can't leave, the show starts soon.
孩子 你们有三个小时让他们和好 Boys, you've got three hours to get those two back together.
需要我提醒你们 失败了会有什么后果吗 Do I need to remind you what will happen if you don't?
Karl Karl!
Owww!
你们这些混蛋 -祝你们好运 孩子们 You bastards. - Good luck, boys.
我们必须让他们和好 伙计们 We've got to get them back together, you guys.
他们会虐待我们的 They could do this to us!
Tom 我正在科罗拉多州的南方公园 Tom, I'm standing in South Park, Colorado,
这里正在举办2001年地球日 where Earth Day 2001 is in full force.
这里有环保游戏和小摊 Environmental awareness games, booths
当然还有舞台上的表演 and of course, the entertainment on stage
正在全国进行现场直播 which is being broadcast live all over the country.
这群环保的观众非常兴奋 This eco-happy crowd is thrilled and waiting in anticipation
等待着Terrance和Phillip的出场 for the arrival of Terrance and Phillip,
这四个男孩保证他们会来 who were promised by these four boys.
多么动人而真实的歌啊 What a touching and true song.
你们知道这是真的 共和党正在毁掉地球 You know it's true, Republicans are ruining the earth.
共和党正在毁掉地球 Republicans are ruining the earth.
没错 Alright.
我知道你们中的大多数人 今天为什么而来 Well, I think I know why most you tuned in today.
来点地球日的娱乐怎么样 How about some Earth Day entertainment?
地球万岁 我们一定要保护它 Hooray for the Earth, we must protect it.
现在 正如我们承诺过的 And now, as promised,
有请Terrance和Phillip...的录像 Here are Terrance and Phillip...on video.
录像? On video?
他们被认为是加拿大最好的喜剧搭档 They were considered the best comedy act in all of Canada,
但是来得太快的成功 but a fast-paced rocket ride to success
将他们带入了绝望的深渊 would bring them to the depths of despair.
Terrance和Phillip 传奇的背后 This is Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.
Wow.
这TMD是什么? What the hell do you call this?
是Terrance和Phillip 传奇的背后 It's Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.
我上个月拍的 I taped it last month.
我们答应大家 有Terrance和Phillip的表演 We promised people Terrance and Phillip,
而不是什么纪录片 not a video documentary.
你们最后一次把地球毁了 孩子们 You've ruined the Earth for the last time, boys!
Aah!
Terrance的全名是 "Terrance Henry Stute" Terrance was born "Terrance Henry Stute"
出生在多伦多的一个小镇上 in the small Canadian village of Toronto.
在他很小的时候 At a very early age,
他父母注意到 他有不同寻常的音乐天赋 his parents noticed an uncanny musical ability
决定将他送到加拿大的一所 and decided to enroll him
专收天才婴儿的学校 in the Canadian school for gifted babies.
在那儿他和Phillip Niles Argyle搭档 It was here that he partnered up with Phillip Niles Argyle,
一个来自蒙特利尔的年轻气盛的孩子 a brash young baby from Montreal.
他们一起弹奏音乐 Together, they performed musical acts
震惊了所有加拿大人 that stunned Canadians everywhere.
六岁的时候 At the tender age of six,
Terrance和Phillip去了美国 Terrance and Phillip were off to the United States
在艾得沙利文的节目上表演 (介绍各界知名人士的节目) to perform on the Ed Sullivan Show
美国观众看到加拿大人的表演 where American audiences would be exposed to Canadians
尚属首次 for the first time.
现在 女士们先生们 And now, ladies and gentlemen,
有两位从加拿大来的可爱男孩 we have two adorable little boys from Canada.
请鼓掌欢迎年轻的Terrance 和Phillip Please put your hands together
为我们献上一曲 for the music of young Terrance and Phillip.
* 牛肉 羊肉 鸡肉 火腿 * ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
* 往左走 拍拍手 * ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
* 我们喜欢鸡肉和火腿 * ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
* 你喜不喜欢鸡肉和火腿 * ♪ Don't you love that chicken and ham ♪
天啊 他们的头怎么了 Oh, my God, what's wrong with their heads?
没事的 亲爱的 他们是加拿大人嘛 It's alright, darling, they're just Canadian.
Oh.
* 往左走 拍拍手 * ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
* 我们喜欢鸡肉和火腿 * ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
* 你们喜欢鸡肉和火腿吗 * ♪ Don't you love my chicken and ham ♪
加拿大式的演出让美国观众很困惑 the Canadian act confused American audiences,
但接着发生了一件事 but then something happened
永远改变了Terrance和Phillip的表演 that would change Terrance and Phillip's act forever.
这就是加拿大式喜剧的诞生 It was the birth of Canadian comedy.
接下去的几年 Terrance and Phillip
Terrance和Phillip改进了表演 spent the next several years perfecting their art
和美国最有影响力的人们见面 and meeting some of America's most influential people.
不好意思 车站在哪里? Excuse me, which way is the bus station?
嘿 你就是屏幕上的那个人 Hey, you're the guy on the screen.
什么? What?
直到1974年 在索尼和雪儿秀上 But it was in 1974 on the Sonny and Cher Show
Terrance和Phillip才终于 that Terrance and Phillip
开始将他们的加拿大式幽默 finally started to mix their Canadian humor
和政治远见联系在一起 with deep political insight.
你知道 雪儿 很多真正的美国人 You know, Cher, a lot of us real Americans
不大了解加拿大 don't know much about Canada.
我们真正的美国人 Well, all of us real Americans
不像你这样又笨又矮 aren't as stupid and short as you.
请大家鼓掌欢迎 Please put your groovy hands together
年轻有才的Terrance和Phillip for the young and talented Terrance and Phillip.
Terrance 我有点开始担心 Say, Terrance, I'm getting worried aboot
俄罗斯人在造导弹 all these Russians making missiles.
也许我们该开始冷战了 Maybe we should stop this "Cold War."
有个导弹要给你 Here's a missile for ya.
这样更好 That's better.
他们大胆混合搞笑与政治见解 With this bold mix of humor and political insight,
整个世界都为Terrance和Phillip颠倒 the world couldn't get enough of Terrance and Phillip,
但他们的成名是有代价的 but their fame would come at a price
而传奇的背后仍在继续 when Behind the Blow continues.
好了 我想我们甩掉他们了 Okay, okay, I think we lost 'em.
天啊 那些地球人可不会鬼混 Jesus, man, those Earth people don't screw around.
Kyle 要是你当初没有撒谎 Kyle, none of this would be happening
这些就都不会发生了 if you hadn't lied in the first place.
你撒了谎 又用一个又一个谎来掩盖 You lied and then you lied to cover up your lies.
你当初怎么没抱怨啊 胖子 I didn't see you complaining at the time, fat boy!
伙计们 我们别无选择 得赶紧走 Guys, we have no choice, we're gonna have to move away.
环保积极分子可没有逻辑和道理可讲 Environmental activists don't use logic or reason.
他们在这儿! There they are!
Ahh!
他们进入后青春期时 As they entered their late teens,
Terrance和Phillip已经开始 Terrance and Phillip were already starting to taste
尝到成功的滋味了 the sweet milk of success,
但成功的代价开始渐渐显现 but the price of fame was looming
Terrance和Phillip 成功的背后 仍在继续 as Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow continues.
70年代和80年代对年轻的 Terrance和Phillip来说是好日子 The '70s and '80s were a good time
年轻时的Terrance和Phillip for young Terrance and Phillip.
在唐尼玛利亚秀上表演 Their act on The Donny and Marie Show
获得了诺贝尔和平奖 won them a Nobel Peace Prize.
他们是所有杂志的封面人物 They were on the cover of every magazine.
到了1998年 And then in 1998,
有一部星期六早晨的动画片 even a Saturday morning cartoon was made
是根据Terrance和Phillip制作的 based on Terrance and Phillip.
Terrance和Phillip亲自配音 Terrance and Phillip themselves supplied the voices.
Terrance 我们该怎么样 Say, Terrance, what should we do
对付这个我们撞上的奇怪星球? aboot this strange planet we've crashed on?
不知道 Phillip I don't know, Phillip.
看起来这里的外星人呼吸惰性气体 It seems like the alien species here breathe an inert gas.
你是不是在说这个? Uh-oh, did you say what I thought you said?
作为山羊人的领袖 As leader of the Goat People,
我看到因为你们排放的危险气体 I have seen my species nearly wiped out
我们物种都快灭绝了 by your dangerous gas.
哇 那真糟糕 Wow, that sucks.
动画片大获成功 The cartoon was such a huge success
开始造成困惑 that it started to breed confusion
到底Terrance和Phillip over whether Terrance and Phillip
是动画片里的人物还是真人 were animated characters or real people.
所以在1998年 喜剧搭档开始筹划 And so in 1998, the comedy team started work
将会是他们最大的成就的 on what they thought would be their greatest achievement,
电视电影 a made-for-TV movie
由Terrance和Phillip编剧并演出 written by and starting Terrance and Phillip
名为"不能没有我的菊花" called Not Without My Anus.
这是他们到那时为止最大的计划 It was their biggest project to date,
但不幸的是 它播放的那个晚上 but it had the misfortune of being scheduled on a night
本来应该放一个更受欢迎的电视节目 when a different and more popular television show,
"John Schneider的变换时间" the John Schneider Variety Hour was supposed to air.
当粉丝们打开电视 想看John Schneider When fans tuned in to see John Schneider
却看到加拿大人的电视电影时 and instead were treated to the Canadian made-for-TV movie,
他们被激怒了 糊涂了 害怕了 they were enraged, bewildered, and scared.
粉丝们愤而起义 烧毁了电视台 The fans revolted and burned down the network,
6名电视制片人被杀 12人受伤 killing six television producers and wounding 12 others.
对Terrance和Phillip的憎恨萌芽了 The hatred of Terrance and Phillip had begun.
Terrance非常沮丧 Terrance fell into a deep depression
开始滥用木板清洁剂 and started abusing wood polish.
Phillip殴打了一名6岁的愤怒粉丝 Phillip beat up an angry six-year-old fan
赔款600万美元 and was sued for $6 million.
这对搭档第一次尝到了失败的苦涩 It was the first time the duo tasted failure
这几乎毁了他们两个 and it nearly killed them both.
这里怎么回事? What's going on here?
嘘 我们在看"传奇的背后" Shh, we're watchin' Behind the Blow.
快点 Kenny 跑快点 Come on, Kenny, hurry up!
经过了几年的沮丧期和自杀未遂后 After years of depression and suicide attempts,
Terrance和Phillip终于决定合作 Terrance and Phillip finally decided to get together
拍摄最后一部电影 for one last film,
1999年大受欢迎的"火之屁股" the 1999 smash hit Asses of Fire.
是那年夏天最卖座的电影之一It was one of the highest grossing films of the summer.
尽管电影还造成了 And though the film also started
1999年的加美之战 the Canadian-American war of 1999
800万人因此丧生 in which eight million people lost their lives,
但电影大获成功 the film was considered a great success.
在差点被美国政府处死之后 After almost being executed by the American government,
Terrance和Phillip终于回到加拿大 Terrance and Phillip were eventually returned to Canada
被捧为英雄 where they were touted as heroes.
他们一起到地狱走了一遭 They had been to hell and back,
同甘共苦 风雨同舟 through the very best and the very worst of times together,
他们一起度过 but they had seen it through, and so ends
Terrance和Phillip 传奇的背后 到此结束 Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.
Terrance. Terrance.
哦 Phillip 你也还在这儿 Oh, Phillip, you're still here too.
我只是在看这个录像 I was just watching this video.
我以前没看到过 You know, I've never seen it before.
我也是 Me neither.
我们的确一起经历了很多事 We sure did go through a lot together.
没错 We sure did.
Terrance 我... Terrance, I--
不 Phillip 别说了 Don't, no, Phillip, don't say it.
我是个混蛋 这基本上是我的错 I was an asshole, this is mostly my fault.
我也正想这么说 That's what I was gonna say,
你是个混蛋 这基本上是你的错 You're an asshole and this was mostly your fault.
但你一直是我们的艺术源泉 But you were always the more artistically driven of us.
我以前应该更加承认你的 I should've put more into it than I did.
不 Phillip No, Phillip.
我以前以为是我在独当一面 I really thought I did everything,
直到我试着单打独斗 until I tried to do it alone.
想想那些濒临灭绝的物种 Think of all the endangered species
将因为你们而消失 that will now vanish because of you.
Karl Karl!
永别了 孩子们 So long, boys.
等等 伙计们 看 Wait, dude, look.
谢谢大家 谢谢 Thank you, everyone, thank you.
Phillip和我学会了重要的一课 You know, Phillip and I have learned an important lesson,
当你们和一个人同生死共患难 that when you go through a lot with somebody,
就不能让陈腐的思想横亘在你们中间 you can't let trite things come between you.
没错 Terrance That's right, Terrance.
你只要让陈腐的事情 You should only let trite things
横亘在你的屁股当中就好了 come between your ass cheeks.
哦 不 Oh, no!
他们回来了 They're back.
没错 Alright!
地球日被挽救了 孩子们 Yes, Earth Day is saved, boys.
所有的事情都圆满了 Everything worked out after all.
的确是 It sure did.
瞧 Kenny 没事了 Look, Kenny, everything turned out okay.
Terrance 能不能告诉我谁放屁了 Say, Terrance, can you tell me who farted?
的确是他 Phillip He sure did, Phillip.
不 我是在问你他的名字 No, I'm asking you his name.
就这样Terrance和Phillip又在一起了 And so Terrance and Phillip got back together,
证明了名气和财产 proving once and for all that fame and fortune
都不如友情重要 are never as important as friendship.
* 牛肉 羊肉 鸡肉 火腿 * ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
* 往左走 拍拍手 * ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
♪ Don't they love that chicken and ham ♪
♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
♪ Don't they love that chicken and ham ♪
♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
♪ Don't they love that chicken and ham ♪