-=风软FRM字幕组=- 翻译:白马非黑马 校对:todaysun Tears
第5季第4集 超级好朋友 S05E04 The Super Best Friends 双语合成 刘磊
* 欢迎来到南方公园 享受一段美好时光 * ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
* 友善的面容随处可见 * ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
* 淳朴的居民乐天知命 * ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
* 我要到南方公园转一转 把烦恼丢天边 * ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
* 阡陌交通 秩序井然 * ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
* 邻里和睦 相亲相爱 * ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
* 径直奔向南方公园 快活似神仙 * ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
* 大波妹子把手牵 咪咪大到我疯癫 * ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
* 快来南方公园 和好友谈笑风生 * ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
好 Carol 将你选的牌放回去 Okay, Carol, put the card you picked back into the deck
别让我看到 so I can't see it...twah.
在搞什么呢 What's going on?
这个叫David Blaine的人在表演魔术 This feller David Blaine. He's doing magic tricks.
嘿 你的雪糕是从哪里搞来的 Hey, where'd you get that ice cream?
好的 向观众展示这张牌 Okay, now hold this card up to the crowd.
你选的是那张牌吗 不是 不好意思 Was that the card you picked? - No, I'm sorry.
我选的是红心四 I picked the four of hearts.
红心四 真的吗 再看一下 Four of hearts? Really? Look again.
Aah!
Ohhh! - Whoa!
酷毙了 伙计 这混蛋是谁啊? That's pretty cool, dude! - Who's this asshole?
他是个魔术师 叫David Blaine He's a magician named David Blaine
伙计 他真厉害 Dude.He kicks ass.
你们的雪糕是从哪里搞来的 Where'd you guys get that ice cream?
先生 你能过来一下吗 Sir, c-could you come over here?
现在 我要你... Now, what I want you to do, Mister...?
Kern Kern.
Kern先生 我要你去冥想一张牌 Mr. Kern, I want you to just think about a card.
随便选张牌 然后在脑海里想一下 Pick any card, and picture it in your mind.
好的 Okay.
好了 回想你的牌 Okay, just -- just think about your card.
好了 看着我 Okay, look at me.
看着我 Look at me.
好了 摸摸你屁股吧 Okay, now reach up your ass.
呃? 继续 往里摸 - Huh?! - Go on, reach up your ass.
我什么都没有摸到 I don't feel nothing.
再深点 Deeper.
我摸不... I don't feel -- I don--
且慢 且慢 Wait. Wait!
那是你选的牌吗 Was that the card you picked?
是啊 天啊 Yes! Oh, my God!
不是吧 - Oh ho! - Mm!
-好酷啊 -他是怎么做到的 - Wow, that's cool! - How'd he do that?
谢谢 Thank you.
鄙人长年周游各地 I've been traveling from town to town for quite a while.
很多人追随我左右 I've started quite a following,
倾倒于我的悬空绝技 mostly because of my levitation trick...twah.
看好 Watch. Watch.
喔 难以置信啊 - Whoa! - No way!
该死的 那家伙是宇宙中最酷的人 Damn. That guy is the coolest guy in the universe!
宣传单 宣传单 Pamphlet. Pamphlet.
给 孩子 拿张宣传单吧 Here you go, kids. Take a pamphlet.
"David Blaine工作室" "David Blaine Workshop.
David Blaine魔术全接触 Learn all about David Blaine at the Center for Magic."
伙计们 机不可失 Dude, we got to go!
是啊 他们或许会教你耍魔术呢 Yeah, and they probably teach you how to do magic tricks!
大家好 Hello, everyone.
我叫Steven My name is Steven, and I've been a Blaintologist
拜入Blaine门下三年了 for about three years.
David Blaine当街表演魔术时 So, when David Blaine performed his miracles out on the street,
什么最吸引你们 what moved you the most?
他的魔术? His miracles?
没错 David Blaine不仅仅是魔术师 Oh, yes. You see, David Blaine is much more than a magician.
他还是个学者 思想家和领袖 He's a scholar, a visionary, a leader.
我们什么时候学魔术呢 When are we gonna learn magic tricks?
对啊 Yeah!
我有一招要教你们 Oh, I've got a trick for you to learn --
我可以教你们 如何发现"真我" I can show you how to make your true self appear.
我来问你们 Let me ask you all something --
你们认为你们快乐吗 Do you consider yourselves to be happy?
我觉得我不是很快乐 I don't think I'm very happy.
我一听到自己的尖叫声就睡着了 I always fall asleep to the sound of my own screams.
没错 因为你... Right, y-you see, the reason that you are unha--
然后我总是在早上 And then I always get woken up in the morning
被我自己的尖叫声吵醒 by the sound of my own screams.
你觉得我不快乐吗 Do you think I'm unhappy?
等等 重要的是...你能快乐 Well, the -- the point is that you can be happy.
你看 你的朋友和家人编排了你 You see, your friends and parents have programmed you
让你感到孤立和孤单 in a way that makes you feel isolated and alone.
你是否经常觉得没人了解你的"真我" How many times have you felt like nobody knows the real you?
你其实不快乐 You're not really happy.
我其实不快乐 I'm not really happy.
你的潜力甚至还没有被挖掘出来 Your potential hasn't even been reached.
我的潜力甚至还没有被挖掘出来 My retential hasn't even been reached.
如果你拜读过David Blaine的圣书 If you look through David Blaine's incredible book,
你会收获无数关于人生的答案 you'll find a lot of life's answers.
我们一起读这本书吧 好吗 Let's read some of the book together, shall we?
然后我们就成为会员了? Then we get to be in David Blaine's secret club?
没错 酷 - That's right. - Cool!
Ike 乖乖吃鱼丸哦 Ike, eat your gefilte fish.
不 妈妈 - No. - Mom! Mom!
我找到伟大魔术师David Blaine的全部信息了 I found out all about this great new magician named David Blaine.
很不错 Kyle Ike 吃吧 That's nice, Kyle. Ike, eat!
我们花了整个下午 We spent all afternoon learning about
探究为什么我们事实上不快乐 how we aren't actually happy.
直到今天 我才知道我以前有多不快乐 I had no idea how unhappy I was until today.
他们给了这本书让我们研习 They gave me this cool book to read,
我已经看到第四章了... and I'm already on chapter four.
我很高兴你对它那么感兴趣 kyle Well, it's nice to see you so interested in something, Kyle.
Ike 看在亚伯拉罕的份上 你就吃了这个吧 （亚伯拉罕是圣经中犹太人的始祖） Ike, for the love of Abraham, you are gonna eat this!
那么 我可以去魔术训练营 So can I go to the magic camp
了解如何成为正式会员吗 to learn how to become a full member?
其他孩子都去了 只要69.95美金 All the other guys are doing it, and it's only $69.95.
魔术训练营? Magic camp?
我不知道 傻小子 问你老子去 I don't know, boubbie. Ask your father.
Ike 你得吃了这个! Ike, you will eat this!
准备好洗涤灵魂 释放你体内的魔力 Prepare to be cleansed and release the magic inside you.
我准备好了 I am prepared!
天啊 脑袋肯定会着凉的 Ah, geez, it sure got cold in here.
下一个 Next!
恭喜你们 Blaine的小信徒 Congratulations, young Blaintologists.
从今天开始 你们就纯洁了 From this day, you are clean.
现在我们有很重要的工作要做 Now, we have very important work to do!
David Blaine明晚在丹佛有一场盛大的魔术秀 David Blaine is going to put on a big magic show
他要在台上吃自己的头 in Denver tomorrow night, where he's going to eat his own head.
哇! Wow!
所以 你们这些Blaine的新弟子 So it's up to all you new Blaintologists
要尽可能的多拉人去看表演 to get as many people there as you can.
拉到最多人的 有赏 Whoever gets the most people to come gets a prize!
Kyle 我开始觉得这有点不对劲 Kyle, I'm starting to think that this is a really bad idea.
嘿 我不是Kyle 我是Butters 我还以为你是Kyle呢 I'm not Kyle. I'm Butters. I thought you were Kyle.
不 我是Stan 你是Stan Kenny呢? - No, I'm Stan. - You're Stan? Where's Kenny?
- 你是谁啊- 我是Kyle - Who are you? - I'm Kyle.
猜猜我是谁 Heh heh. Guess who I am, you guys.
Kyle 我想我们在这里陷入麻烦了 Kyle, I think we may have gotten into something bad here.
看看我们 伙计 这些人想给我们洗脑 Look at us, dude. These people are trying to change us somehow.
我觉得我们该回家了 I think it's time we went home.
但是明天在丹佛David Blaine要表演更多奇术呢 But David Blaine's gonna do more miracles in Denver tomorrow.
我才不关心呢 我要走了 I don't care! I'm leaving!
请问 Excuse me.
-你要去哪里 -我要回家 - Where are you going? - I'm going home.
你不想回家 You don't want to go home.
你说过我们想走就走的 You said we're free to leave whenever we want.
-是啊 -让开 - You are. - Then move out of the way.
我没挡你路,是你自己 I'm not in your way. You are.
教堂里的说教让你不开心? Are you unhappy with the church's teachings?
我们谈谈吧 Let's just talk about it.
我不想谈 我要走人 I don't want to talk about it. I just want to leave.
不如我们进密室里谈一会吧 Why don't we go into the back room for a second and talk?
然后你就可以走人了 Then you can leave.
那好吧 我...我改主意了 That's okay. I-I changed my mind.
我要留下 I'm gonna stay.
真是个好消息 That's great news.
好了 没障碍了 Okay, it's all clear.
-我们要干嘛? -我们要逃离这里 - What are we doing? - We're getting out of here.
整件事都太疯狂了 This whole thing has gotten way out of hand.
我哪都不去 Whoa, whoa, I'm not going anywhere.
-拜托 kyle 这太无聊了 -一点都不无聊 Stan - Come on, Kyle, this is stupid! - It's not stupid, Stan.
在我人生中 我首次感到我有了归属 For once in my life, I feel like I'm part of something.
归属于什么?某个混账魔术师的疯狂的人生规划吗? A part of what?! Some gaywad magician's crazy life plan?
别叫Blaine教主混账 他是个神人 Don't call Mr. Blaine a gaywad! He's a brilliant man.
不是的 他们只是使你们相信他是个天才 No, they've just convinced you that he's a brilliant man.
- 我们走吧 - 我哪都不去 - Let's go! - I'm not going anywhere!
该死的 我不会跟你走的 我想留在这 God damn it, I'm not going with you! I want to stay here!
呃? 我还以为你想走呢 Huh? I thought you wanted to leave.
且慢 再问一下我是谁 你是stan - Oh, wait, who am I again? - You're Stan.
好的 看好了 伙计 我要离开这了 Okay. Now, look, dude, I'm getting out of here,
如果你不跟我走的话 你就是个白痴 and you're a dumbass if you don't come with me.
那么我想...我就是个白痴 Then I guess I'm a dumbass.
Kyle 拜托 你... Kyle, please.
你是我最好的朋友啊 You're -- You're my best friend.
现在我信这个了 Stan Well, this is what I believe in now, Stan.
如果你不尊重我的信仰... And if you can't respect that,
那么 我想我们不再是好朋友了 then I guess we're not best friends anymore.
你好 夫人 我叫Kyle 这是Cartman Hello, ma'am. My name is Kyle. And this is Cartman.
我们想和你分享我们对David Blaine的热爱 We'd like to share our interest in David Blaine with you.
我老公让我远离你们这些Blaine信徒 Uh-oh. My husband warned me about you Blainiacs.
不好意思 我是个基督徒 I'm sorry, but I'm a Catholic.
呃 没关系的 夫人 我们的教条适用于所有人 Uh, it doesn't matter, ma'am. Blaintology is for everyone.
Blaine的信徒遍布基督徒 佛教徒 There are Blaintologists who are Catholics, Buddhists.
Kyle这个犹太人也能入教 Why, even Kyle here is a Goddamn Jew.
没错 That's right.
那么说你们不是邪教了? So you're not a cult?
当然不是 A cult? No.
David blaine是个活生生的人 David Blaine is a real person.
或许你在ABC上看过他的专题片呢 You may have seen his television specials on ABC.
他还写过一本书 我们想和你分享一下 He also wrote a book, and we'd like to share it with you.
好啊 快进来吧 Well, all right. Come on in.
太好了 Cool.
看这里 是David Blaine And if you look here, you can see how David Blaine
在时代广场表演"冰封"的场景 performed the miracle of being frozen in ice at Times Square.
夫人 你有没有想过 Ma'am, have you ever wondered
David Blaine的计划对你意味着什么? what David Blaine's plan is for you?
没有 没想过 No, not really.
嘿 你看 那很有趣 因为... Oh, see, that -- that's interesting because
因为我很感激David Blaine的书 I'm so thankful for David Blaine's book,
我很感激他 and I'm so thankful that he showed me
向我指出了通往快乐的路 the way to true happiness,
但是 我经常考虑他的计划 but I think about his plan often.
明晚 David Blaine在丹佛 David Blaine is doing a big performance
有一场盛大的表演 in Denver tomorrow night.
我们确信他的魔术会使你眼界大开 We're sure his magic will entertain and astound you!
他将要吃他自己的头 He's going to eat his own head.
你想要多少张票呢 How many tickets can we put you down for?
哦 我不能去 Oh, I can't go.
哦 去吧 你将从此快乐 Oh, come on. It'll make you a happy person.
-是的 我快乐 -不 你不快乐 - Yes, I am. - No, you're not.
-我真的快乐不 -你不快乐 - I really am. - No, you're not.
-但我快乐啊 -不 你不快乐 - But I am. - No, you're not.
-好吧 两张票 -太棒了 - All right, two tickets. - Great!
我们说服了15个人 That's 15 people we got to agree
去丹佛看David Blaine的表演 to come see David Blaine perform in Denver!
对 kyle教友 我们任重道远啊 Yes, Brother Kyle, but our work is not over.
我们还得招10个观众 We must still recruit 10 more audience members
才有赏 in order to get the prize.
我觉得我们该去试试Kenny的邻居也 许我们会... I think if we try Kenny's neighborhood, we might find a...
走吧 Kyle教友 我们没空理他 Come, Brother Kyle. We have no time for him.
唉! Aaah!
下次走路小心点 叛徒 You'd better watch yourself next time, abandoner!
-嗨 耶稣 是我Stan Marsh -Stan Marsh - Hi, Jesus. It's me, Stan Marsh. - Stan Marsh.
当然 我记得你 我的孩子 进来吧 Of course, I know you, my child. Come in.
那伙人到处耍魔术 This guy is going around doing magic tricks
还说那些是奇迹 and saying they're miracles.
我朋友Kyle觉得他很厉害 My friend Kyle thinks he's totally awesome!
你向我禀告这些 做得好 Stan You are good to bring this to my attention, Stan.
邪教可是很危险的 Cults are a very dangerous thing.
我在圣经里读过 你也展示过奇迹 I read in the Bible that you performed miracles too.
如果你能在众人面前展示你的奇迹 If you could go in front of these people
他们就会明白 and do your miracles, then they'll all see
David Blaine没什么特别 that David Blaine isn't so special.
我最出名的奇迹就是"变水为酒" The miracle I'm most famous for is turning water into wine.
-你可以再露一手吗 -好啊 我会的 - Can you do it again? - Very well.
我将表演奇迹给大家 I shall perform the miracle.
睁大眼睛了 这是普通的水 清洁 纯净 Behold! Here you can see ordinary water -- clear, clean.
好了 把头转过去 Okay, now turn around.
转过去 Uh, n-- tur-- turn around.
好了 转回来吧 O-Okay, now turn back.
它现在是酒了 It is now wine!
就这样吗 那就是你的绝活吗 That's it? That's how you did that trick?
是的 W-Well, yeah.
这把戏太烂了,耶稣 That trick sucks, Jesus.
哦 我想这些伎俩 Oh. Well, I guess it worked a little better on people
对两千年前的人比较管用 2,000 years ago.
伙计 我们必须行动了 Dude, we have to do something.
那个人今晚要在丹佛表演更多的奇术 This guy is performing more miracles in Denver tonight.
会有更多人追随他的 He's gonna get more followers,
那我再也救不了Kyle了 and it will be impossible for me to get Kyle out.
我们出发吧 Then let's go!
但是 伙计 我觉得你不应该 But, dude, I'd I don't think you should do
再玩变水为酒的把戏了 that lame water-to-wine trick.
哦 别担心 我还有更多不为人知的绝活 Oh, don't worry. I have a few more miracles up my sleeve.
来集会的人真多啊 This is a really good turnout.
先生们 女士们 有请David Blaine And now, ladies and gentlemen, David Blaine!
你们好 我的弟子们 Hello, my children...twah.
先生们 女士们 请安静 Ladies and Gentlemen, may we have silence, please,
魔术大师David Blaine要吃他自己的头了 as magician David Blaine will now eat his own head.
伙计 不是吧 Dude, no way!
谢谢大家 Thank you, everyone...twah.
我们组织的规模与日俱增 Our organization grows larger every day.
很快 作为一个真正的宗教 Soon the government will even have to give us
政府必须给我们免税资格 tax-exempt status as a bona fide religion.
且慢 Hold!
-是耶稣 -是耶稣吗 - It's Jesus! - Is that Jesus?
他来这干嘛 What's he doing here?
我的孩子们 你们该回家了 My children, it is time for you to go home
别再追随这个骗人精了 and stop following this false prophet.
你应该将金钱和时间挪作他用 You should be using your money and time for other things.
这些魔术只是雕虫小技 These are simple magic tricks.
虽然他的魔术有点意思 但是他能把食物变到你们的餐桌上吗 His magic is interesting, but will it put food on your table?
消灭饥荒才算是奇迹 Feeding the hungry, now that is a miracle!
看好 我这里有五根面包和三条鱼 Behold. I have here fives loaves of bread and three fish.
肯定不够喂饱在座各位 Certainly not enough to feed this entire crowd,
但是现在 把头转过去 but now -- turn around.
转过去 You need to turn around.
好了 转回来 Okay, now turn back.
他究竟是怎么做到的 Now, how the hell did he do that?
哇! - Wow! - Wow!
你的魔术过时了 耶稣 Your magic is old and outdated, Jesus...twah.
-就像你一样 -哦 是吗 - Just like you are. - Oh, really?
那么这张黑桃A怎么会在你耳朵后面? Then what's this ace of spades doing behind your ear?
哇 - Whoa. - Nice. Ooh!
哇 - Whoa! - Wow!
天哪 Jesus Christ!
他好神啊 He's incredible!
古老的信仰使你们失望 The old religions have failed you...twah.
除了战争贫穷和悲伤他们还带给你们什么 What have they offered except for war, poverty, and sadness?
而Blaine教却给你们 Blaintology offers you the key
尽享人生的真谛 to living your life to the fullest!
你们愿意加入我们组织吗 Will you join us?
愿意 Yes!
他的魔术太强大了 Stanley His magic is too powerful, Stanley.
我闻所未闻 I've never seen anything like it.
-那么我们怎么办呢 -我单挑不过他 Then what are we gonna do? - I cannot face him alone.
我们必须得到所有超级好友的相助 We must get the help of all the Super Best Friends.
佛祖 佛祖 听着 Buddha -- Buddha, come in!
超级好友? "Super Best Friends"?
我是佛祖 耶稣 你说吧 This is Buddha, Jesus. Go ahead.
佛祖 我们有麻烦了 Buddha, we may have a problem.
我遇上了一个闻所未闻的魔术 I've just encountered a magic I've never seen before.
我召集所有的好友 I'll call everyone together.
你尽快来 Come as fast as you can.
走吧 Stanley 我们的旅程遥远而又漫长 Come, Stanley. We must travel far and long.
-去哪里 -人类可望不可及的地方 To where? - Distances unfathomable to man.
抓好我的袍子 Stanley Yea, take hold of my robe, Stanley,
别睁眼 and do not open your eyes.
我准备好了 I am ready.
-你还闭着眼吗 -是啊 Are you still keeping your eyes closed?
好 要些花生吗 Yeah. - Good. You want some peanuts?
恭喜你 女教友 Congratulations, sister.
你已经领悟真谛 成为Blaine的弟子了 You have heard the noble truth and are now a Blaintologist.
所有人 大家集合 Everyone! Everyone, gather around!
我要向Blaine的所有弟子 I have great news for all Blaintologists
当然包括新弟子报喜 and for our new members, as well.
我们刚从Blaine教主那里得到指示 We've just gotten word from Mr. Blaine himself.
政府拒绝批准我们教堂的 The government has denied our church's request
免税地位 for tax-exempt status!
但是 我们要得到免税地位 But we want tax-exempt status.
是啊 那怎么会是喜讯呢? Yeah, why is that good news?
因为Blaine教主安排了所有弟子 Because Mr. Blaine has arranged for all Blaintologist members
从四面八方进军华盛顿 from every city and state to march into Washington
通过集体自杀 and demand our right for tax-exempt status
获得我们免税地位的权利 by committing a mass suicide!
集体自杀? Mass suicide?
Blaine教主启迪我们: 若在华盛顿自杀 Mr. Blaine has said that by killing ourselves in Washington,
死后必定永远快乐 we are guaranteed everlasting happiness in the afterlife!
收拾行李 天亮后向华盛顿进发 Get your things ready. We leave for Washington at dawn!
你们听到了吗 兄弟们 我们终于要牺牲了 Did you hear that, guys? We're finally gonna die!
好了 Stanley 你可以睁眼了 All right, Stanley. You can open your eyes now.
这里是超级好友殿堂 Stanley This is the Hall of the Super Best Friends, Stanley.
为正义之士所设的总部 The headquarters for those who stand for what's right.
耶稣 得到你的求援信号后 我们一直在努力工作 Jesus! We've been working hard since we got your distress call.
这个孩子是谁 Who the kid?
Stanley 认识一下我的这些超级好友 Stanley, I want you to meet some of the Super Best Friends.
佛祖 来无影 去无踪 Buddha, with the powers of invisibility.
默罕默德 穆斯林领袖 身怀喷火绝技 Muhammad, the Muslim prophet with the powers of flame.
Krishna 印度之神 Krishna, the Hindu deity.
Joseph Smith 摩门教先知 Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet.
老子 道教鼻祖 Lao-tzu, the found of Taoism.
水侠 不但能在水下呼吸 And Sea Man, with the ability to breathe underwater
还能和鱼沟通 and link mentally with fish.
你想跟我说 尽管人类因宗教信仰不同 So you mean to tell me that even though people fight
而产生战争和冲突 and argue over different religions,
但是你们其实是朋友? you guys are all actually friends?
不仅仅是朋友 孩子 More than friends, young boy.
我们是超级好友 We are Super Best Friends
为正义上刀山 下火海 with the desire to fight for justice.
我们深信邪不胜正 We all believe in the power of good over evil.
除了佛祖 当然 Except for Buddha, of course,
他不信邪who doesn't really believe in evil.
哦 Wow.
耶稣 来看看这个 Jesus! Come look at this.
收到你的求援信号后 After your distress call, we entered David Blaine
我们将"David Blaine"输入这台超级好友电脑里 into the Super Best Friends computer.
搜到很多有趣的信息 Many interesting things showed up.
他生于纽约一个小康之家 He was raised in New York City by a decent family
但是在他十二岁时 一场怪异的洗衣机事故 but a freak washing-machine accident
使得他学会了妖术 at the age of 12 made him learn the ways of the black arts.
没错 精液（英语中"水侠"的谐音） That's right, Seaman.
Uh, that's what I said -- Seaman.
别闹了 Stop it!
Cartman Cartman!
Cartman 醒醒 Cartman, wake up. Cartman.
不要 Paula Poundstone 放开我 No, Paula Poundstone, leave me alone!
是我 - Aah! Uh... - It's just me.
Kyle教友 你为什么打扰我睡觉 Brother Kyle. Why do you disturb my rest?
伙计 我不想成为这里的一员了 Dude. I don't think I want to be part of this anymore.
什么 What?
我觉得Stan可能是对的 I think Stan might've been right.
总之 我觉得这事太离谱 Anyway, I think it's going too far.
我是说 如果我自杀 家人肯定会伤心欲绝的 I mean, if I kill myself, it's gonna make my family really sad.
我知道你什么意思 我也不想死 Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't want to die either.
我小弟弟还没有长头发呢 I haven't even gotten my pubes yet.
我觉得我们应该越狱 I think we should bail.
如果我们脱离这个组织 If we leave the group,
其他人或许也会有勇气脱离的 maybe other people will get the courage to leave, too.
困难重重啊 Kyle教友 That cou-- That could be difficult, Brother Kyle.
但是 好吧 听着 为什么我们不继续睡 But all right, listen -- Why don't we sleep on it?
如果我们决定离开 If we decide to leave the faction,
早上也行啊 we can do it in the morning.
好吧 你说的对 Okay. Okay, you're right.
哦 Cartman... 谢谢 Oh, Cartman? Thanks.
Cartman?
搞什么鬼 What the hell?
我告发了你 I told on you!
你干了什么好事 Cartman What have you done, Cartman?!
这是为了你好 kyle教友 This is for your own good, Brother Kyle.
你要明白 kyle教友 You must understand, brother Kyle...twah.
你太了解这个教会了 You know too much about the church.
如果你现在离开 我们的事业会受到威胁 If you left now, you'd become a danger to our cause.
你知道kyle还说了些什么吗 And you know what else Kyle said?
嗯 Kyle Um, Kyle,
他说 如果我们都要自杀 he said that if we were all gonna commit suicide,
他不会追随的 that he wouldn't do it.
Cartman 你这个汉奸 Cartman, you fat-ass tattletale!
至少呆在塑料球里的不是我 At least I'm not the boy in the plastic bubble.
自杀行动按计划进行 The suicide pact will go as planned.
死 我们也要死在一起 If we die, we all die together.
同时 在超级好友殿堂 Meanwhile, at the Hall of Super Best Friends...
看这个 耶稣 Look at that, Jesus.
他弟子人数增长的速度比我的还快 His followers are growing at a rate even faster than mine.
看来这个David Blaine It appears this David Blaine is as dangerous
确实和你们说的一样危险 as you and your young friend had feared.
我知道 I knew it!
给 我有他昨晚表演的录像带 Here, I have a videotape of his performance the other night.
我们让摩西看看这盒带子 Perhaps we should have Moses look at the tape
看他有什么妙计 and see what he comes up with.
摩西 扫描这盒带子 Moses, scan this tape.
你能告诉我们Blaine的力量之源吗 Can you tell us the source of Blaine's power?
把信息输给我 Give me the information.
哇 摩西 Wow! The Moses.
他的魔术结合了 His magic is a combination of centrifugal line
妖术和花招 and sleight of hand.
等一下 Wait a minute.
我正从全国范围内收集 I'm picking up movement
Blaine的弟子的动向 from Blaintologists all over the country.
Blaine的弟子正向华盛顿进发 The Blaintologists are heading to Washington.
-为什么 -且慢 - But why? - Wait a minute.
David Blaine在表演时提到 At his performance, David Blaine said something about
争取免税地位之类的事 trying to get tax-exempt status.
- 天啊- 什么 - Oh, my God! - What?
如果他获得免税地位 If he gets tax-exempt status,
他的教就变成真的宗教了 then he'll become a real religion.
他将会变得势不可挡 He would become unstoppable.
同时 在首都 Meanwhile, in the Nation's Capitol,
全国各地的Blaine的弟子 Blaintologists from all over the country
聚集起来实施集体自杀 have gathered to commit mass suicide!
如果政府不给予我们免税地位 If the government will not give us tax-exempt status,
我们就要证明 then we must prove that we are willing to die
为了信仰我们愿意牺牲 for our beliefs...twah.
好了 教友和女教友们 聚到一块来 All right, brothers and sisters, gather around.
该在倒影池内淹死我们自己了 It's time to drown ourselves in the reflecting pool.
但是倒影池 However, the reflecting pool is a little more shallow
比我们预计的浅了点 than we originally thought, so to drown ourselves,
所以 要淹死我们自己的话 你得躺着 you will need to lie on your stomach facedown
面朝下 直到你牺牲 像这样 until you die, as such.
下一个 Next!
同时 在白宫 Meanwhile, at the White House...
总统先生 我们不能让他们自杀 Mr. President, we can't let them all kill themselves.
我们也不能给他们免税地位 Carl Well, we can't give them tax-exempt status either, Karl!
嘿 George 怎么了? Hey, George! What's going on?
好吧 Kyle教友 轮到我们牺牲了 All right, Brother Kyle, it is time for us to die!
Cartman 我们被洗脑了 你看不到吗 Cartman! We've been brainwashed, don't you see?
我们没必要这样子 We don't have to do this!
但这是我们快乐的唯一办法 But it's the only way for us to be happy.
Cartman 不要 Cartman, no!
满足我们的要求 否则我们会前赴后继 Give us what we want or we will continue to die...twah.
别着急 David Blaine Not so fast, David Blaine.
耶稣 又是你 Jesus! Not again.
是的 但这次我带帮手来了 Yes! But this time, I've brought some help.
超级好友 Super Best Friends, ho!
佛祖 默罕默德 - Buddha! - Muhammad!
- Joseph Smith! - Krishna!
老子 水侠 - Lao-tzu! - Sea Man!
集体自杀该结束了 Blaine 你也是 The mass suicide is over, Blaine, and so are you!
我可不这么认为 抓住他们 I don't think so. Get them!
我用冰气招呼你 My ice breath should take care of you.
Kyle! Kyle!
为了伟大的救世主 Sweet salvation!
Kyle?
哦 天哪 他们杀了Kenny Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!
你们这些混蛋 You bastards!
Kyle?
哦 天哪 他们杀了Kenny Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!
你们这些混蛋 You bastards!
哦 天哪 他们杀了Kenny Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!
干掉了他们 现在轮到你了 Blaine - That takes care of them. - Now it's your turn, Blaine!
让你们看看什么是真正的魔术 Perhaps you need to see some real magic.
啊 Raaargh!
哦 这下难办了 Oh, this looks like trouble.
再见了 超级好傻 So long, Super Best Fools!
- Kyle! - Stan!
-Kyle 不要自杀 -我不想自杀 - Kyle, you can't kill yourself! - I don't want to kill myself!
他们硬往这里面灌水 They rigged this thing to fill with water!
我们要制止那个巨人林肯 We've got to stop that oversized Abraham Lincoln!
默罕默德 Muhammad!
啊 - Aargh! - Aah!
好家伙! Great Scott!
好吧 再来 Okay, try again.
Hyup!
它太强大了 耶稣 It is too powerful, Jesus!
他好像没有弱点 It seems to have no weakness.
肯定有办法能打败他 There has to be a way to destroy it.
耶稣呼叫摩西 Jesus to Moses!
同时 在超级好友总部 Meanwhile, at the Super Best Friends League...
-请讲 摩西 -什么 - Come in, Moses! - What?
我们如何才能干掉巨人林肯? We need to know how to kill a giant, stone Abraham Lincoln.
呃... Um...
让我想想 Let me, um...
巨型John Wilkes Booth（杀林肯的刺客） A giant, stone John Wilkes Booth?
听到没 超级好友们 You heard him, Super Best Friends!
我们要造一个巨型John Wilkes Booth We've got to make a giant, stone John Wilkes Booth!
Krishna 我们搭架子需要木材 Krishna, we're going to need wood for a mold!
变身...海狸 Form of -- a beaver!
我去找些水泥 I will find sources of concrete.
你 用水把它混合起来 精液 You, get the water to mix it with, Seaman.
用Krishna啃断的树木 Using the wood that Krishna cut down as a beaver,
耶稣以其高超的木工技术 Jesus uses his master carpentry skills
搭建好了架子 to make a giant mold.
应该行了 现在弄点水泥来 That should do the trick. Now for some concrete.
同时 海洋深处 Meanwhile, in the ocean depths,
精液吸出水来混合水泥 Seaman seeks out water to mix with the concrete.
水侠!!! Sea Man!
听着 燕子 我们可以用这些管子 Look, Swallow, we should be able to divert the water
把水引过去\ with that pipe.
于是 水侠和燕子 And so Seaman and Swallow
开工了 get to -- get to work, heh.
Kyle 屏住呼吸 Kyle, you have to hold your breath!
哦 太搞了 Oh, very funny.
老子 赐其灵气 Lao-tzu, bring it to life.
使用道教的力量 Using his power of Taoism,
老子与巨型John Wilkes Booth合二为一 Lao-tzu becomes one with the giant, stone John Wilkes Booth.
砰! Barp!
啊! Ah!
成功了 It worked.
冰封水池 没人会被淹死了 Now freeze over the pool so no one else can drown themselves!
- Whoa! - Whoa!
嘿 我正努力牺牲呢 Hey, I was just about to do it!
后来 在同一个地方 Later, at the exact same location...
去死吧 你们这些超级好友 Damn you, Super Best Friends!
你的妖术敌不过我们团结的力量的 Blain Your magic is no match for our powers combined, Blaine!
你们这次赢了 超级好傻 Then I guess you win this time, Super Best Fools!
但是我会卷土重来的 But I'll be back!
Twaah.
该死的 God damn it!
逢凶化吉了 一切皆如常 It's all right. Everything is as it should be.
闭嘴 佛祖 Oh, shut up, Buddha.
我们的领袖 他 他离开我们了 Our leader, he's -- he's leaving us.
别离开我们 David Blain Don't leave us, David Blaine!
大家听着 Listen up, everyone.
你们不需要David Blain告诉你们如何生活 You don't need David Blaine to tell you how to live.
看到没 邪教是危险的 它们许诺你们希望 You see, cults are dangerous because they promise you hope,
幸福 甚至永生 happiness, and maybe even an afterlife.
反过来 他们向你们要钱 But in return, they demand you pay money.
任何一个为了壮大 为了让你们学习教义 Any religion that requires you to pay money
而向你们伸手要钱的宗教都是不对的 in order to move up and learn its tenets is wrong.
任何宗教都有有价值的东西来布道 You see, all religions have something valuable to teach,
就像超级好友们所学到的 but just like the Super Best Friends learned,
取长补短才是正确的 it requires a little bit of them all.
他言之有理 He's right. He -- He's right!
谢谢你拯救了我们 Stan 你是我的超级好友 Thanks for saving me, Stan. You're my Super Best Friend.
你也是我的超级好友 Kyle Your my Super Best Friend, too, Kyle.
你们真够浪漫 Oh, that's so sweet, you guys.
你们要洞一会房吗 You want to go get a room so you can make out for a while?
哦 干什么 Ow! Jesus! What was that for?!
住手 Ow! Ow! Stop it! Ow!
看起来一切都正常了 Well, it looks like everything worked out.
于是耶稣和他的同伴离开了华盛顿 And so Jesus and his companions leave Washington.
但是他们一定会回来的 But their return is assured,
因为人类总会需要 for there will always be a need for
超级好朋友 the Super Best Friends!