-=风软FRM字幕组=- 翻译:白马非黑马 校对:小皮不说谎 Tears
第5季第2集 屎之诅咒 S05E02 It Hits the Fan 双语合成 哦我的狒狒
* 欢迎来到南方公园 * ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
* 享受一段美好时光 * ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
* 友善的面容随处可见 * ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
* 淳朴的居民乐天知命* ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
* 我要到南方公园转一转 * ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
* 把烦恼丢天边 * ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
* 阡陌交通 秩序井然 * ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
* 邻里和睦 相亲相爱 * ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
* 径直奔向南方公园 * ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
* 快活似神仙 * ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
* 大波妹子把手牵 咪咪大到我疯癫 * ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
* 快来南方公园 * ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
* 和好友谈笑风生 * ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
嘿 兄弟们 看我搞到了什么 Hey, you guys, look what I have!
什么 What?
四张舞台剧"狮子王"的票 Four tickets to The Lion King on stage.
哦 - Oh. - Oh.
拜托 这个应该会很好看的 Oh, come on, you guys, it's supposed to be really cool.
是啊 不是 只不过是听起来好看而已 Yeah, no, it sounds really cool.
兄弟们 兄弟们 我的妈啊 You guys, you guys, oh, my God!
我的妈啊 兄弟们 Oh, my God, you guys!
- 怎么了 小胖子 - 我刚才- -What, dough boy? - I was just--
我刚才看电视 看到他们在放广告 I was just watching the TV. They had this commercial.
然后呢 So?
他们将要 So guess what they're gonna say
在今晚的《警察故事》上 tonight on that show Cop Drama.
- 怎样 - 你们猜 - What? - No, come on, guess.
他们要说些 They're gonna say something
从来没有在电视上说过的话 that's never been said on television.
- 什么话 - 你们绝对猜不到 -What? - You'll never guess.
- 是什么 - 你猜啊 -What? - Guess.
该死 Cartman God damn it, Cartman,
他们要在《警察故事》上说什么 What are they gonna say on Cop Drama?
准备好了 You ready?
今晚 《警察故事》电视上 他们要说 Tonight on Cop Drama, on TV, they're gonna say...
shit "shit".
他们要在电视上说"shit" They're gonna say "shit" on television?
不能在电视上说"shit" They can't say "shit" on television.
新闻上说的 大家都很震惊 It was just on the news! People are freakin' out, dude!
我就靠了 Holy fucking shit.
我们得开一下眼界 We gotta watch.
恩 我要把大家叫到我家一起看 Yeah, I'm gonna have people over to my house to see it.
但我还有去看舞台剧"狮子王"的票 But I've got these tickets to see Lion King on stage.
你是不是没听到我说的话 Kyle Maybe you didn't hear me, Kyle.
我说 电视上要说"shit"了 I said "shit," on television.
不过是电视台的噱头罢了 It's just a marketing ploy by the network,
就像上次他们让Terrance和 like that time they had the first male-to-male kiss
Phillip来的首次男同志接吻一样 with Terrance and Phillip.
来吧 老兄 这可是历史时刻啊 Oh, come on, dude, this is history.
愚蠢之极 It's stupid.
不是吧 你怎么这么易怒啊 Kyle Jeez, you're a little irritable, Kyle.
怎么 你阴道里有沙子吗 What's the matter, you got some sand in your vagina?
没有 我阴道里没有沙子 No, I don't have sand in my vagina.
我就是觉得 I just think it's a little immature
站这聊那个 for us to be standing around,
电视上要说的傻逼词很弱智 talking about one dumb word being on TV!
嘿 Sam 知道那个消息吗 Hey, uh, Sam, did you hear the news?
嗯 他们要在电视上说"shit" Yeah, they're gonna say "shit" on television.
我们应该去酒吧一起看 We should all get together and watch it at the bar.
是啊 Yeah!
是啊 - Yeah. - Yeah.
你们准备让孩子看吗 Are you guys gonna let your kids watch?
当然 Oh, sure.
《警察故事》可是部很有艺术感染力的剧情片 I mean, you know, Cop Drama's a very artsy, dramatic show.
而且他们要说"shit" and they're gonna say "shit"!
嘿 Butters 我有今晚看"狮子王"的票 Hey, Butters, I got tickets to go see Lion King tonight,
我谁都没问 先问你去不去 and I decided to invite you before anybody else.
噢 不好意思 我去不了啊 Oh, sorry, I can't.
《警察故事》要说"shit" They're gonna say "shit" on Cop Drama,
我爸妈得让我跟他们一起看 and my mom and dad say I have to watch it with them
这样我就不会学坏了 so I don't take it the wrong way.
难道还能教好吗 How many ways are there to take it?
不过是个傻逼词罢了 It's just a stupid word!
嘿 各位 还有半小时就要播映啦 Hey, everybody, it's on in 30 minutes!
听着 Mitchell 我每天出生入死 Listen, Mitchell, I put my life on the line every day.
你怎么能怪我头上 How dare you accuse me?
哦 我想这次是了 要说了 Oh, I bet this is it. Here it comes.
我只是做好自己的本职工作 Frank I'm doing my job, Frank.
我们要知道证据到底去哪里了 We have to know where that evidence was shipped.
哦 就是那个吗 就是那个吗 Oh, was that it? Was that it?
shipped 他说"shipped" "Shipped". he said "shipped".
这个没有记录在案 而且 I told you we don't have a record of that, and besides,
你的职责就是保护警察 your job is to protect the men who serve this force.
妈的 什么时候才说 "shit" God damn it, when are they gonna say "shit"?
嘘 Shh!
也许 也许是保护他们不受你的伤害 Maybe... Maybe protect them from you.
你别忘了你在跟谁说话 Maybe you're forgetting who you're talking to.
别忘了我曾经也干过警察 And maybe you're forgetting I used to be a cop, too!
是啊 你以前还干过很多好事呢 Yeah, you used to be a lot of things!
哦 他还不知道Mitchell和他老婆上过床了 对吧 Oh, he doesn't know Mitchell slept with his wife, does he?
够了 我听够了 That's it. I've had enough of this.
别在背后搞鬼 Don't you turn your back on me, you.
我说 够了 I said enough!
是吗 够了吗 Is it? Will it ever be enough?
《警察故事》在广告之后回来 Cop Drama will return after these messages.
天呐 又是广告 Jesus Christ, another commercial?
他们到底会不会说"shit" Are they ever gonna say "shit"?
我肯定 I'm sure they're just holding it
他们要拖到最后一幕才会说 to the very last scene.
-啊 -你去哪 Kyle - Ugh! - Where you going, Kyle?
我要去厨房 这些东西真白痴 I'm going to the kitchen. This is stupid!
但是你会错过的 But you're gonna miss it.
他们说"shit" 你会错过的 They're gonna say "shit" and you're gonna miss it.
我管他个屌 I don't really give a fuck.
哦 Oh.
要知道这是我的职责 Just understand that it's my job.
不过我始终认为你是个好警察 I still think you're a good cop.
Mitchell 你还是去做 Well, Mitchell, I guess you're going to do
你想做的事吧 what you're gonna do.
只希望无论如何 我们还是兄弟 Let's just try and stay friends no matter what.
恩 再见了 You're right. Maybe I'll see you around.
再见 哦 Mitchell Goodbye. Oh, and, Mitchell?
你嘴边有点"屎" You've got some shit on the side of your mouth right there.
哦 谢谢 谢谢 Oh, yeah, oh, thanks, thanks.
哇 Wow!
哇哦 Whoa!
-噢 -哇哦 - Oh! - Whoa!
他们说了 They did it.
难以置信啊 他们真的说了 I can't believe they actually said it.
小子 你错过了 Kyle 精彩绝伦啊 Dude, you missed it, Kyle. It was so awesome!
但愿兑现之前广告说的那些 Well, I hope it lived up to all the hype.
你现在肯定爽得不行吧 You must fee so much better now.
Kyle 我们得把那些沙子从你阴道里弄出来 Kyle, we've gotta get that sand out of your vagina.
它们搞得你心烦意乱的 是不是很痒啊 It's making you cranky. Does it itch?
你真的以为 Do you really think anything's
会有什么不同吗 gonna be any different now?
你真以为这个会对 Do you really think that this will have
世界有一点点影响吗 the tiniest, smallest effect on the world?
-世界依然 -看 -It's still the same old world out there. -Look!
搞什么 What the hell?
哇 天上下青蛙 Whoa, dude, it's raining frogs.
哦 管他呢 Oh, whatever.
昨晚铁胆雄心的 《警察故事》 Last night, the daring and bold show Cop Drama
使用"shit"一词 打破电视界禁忌 broke new ground by saying "shit" on television,
使得"shit" 正式允许在电视上使用 making "shit" officially okay to say around the country.
最近调查显示24%的美国人 A recent poll shows that 24% of Americans
认为节目走得太远 think the show has pushed the envelope too far,
但占多数的76%的人 while a whopping 76%
说他们完全不刁这件事 say they don't really give a shit.
下一个报道 一种不明病毒 In other news, a strange virus
引发患者呕吐不已 直至吐出肠子 which causes victims to vomit up their intestines
导致这个小镇生活乱成一团 is making life shitty for a small farming community.
Rick Watts 为您报道 Rick Watts has the story.
谢谢 Tom Thanks, Tom.
可以肯定的是 鸟事正在- Shit is certainly going down
这个镇蔓延开来- here in the small town--
靠 Whoa, shit!
好了 孩子们 为了正确用语 All right, children, in lieu of the common usage,
我要声明学校 I'm supposed to clarify the school's position
关于"shit"这个词的立场 on the word "shit".
现在可以在学校里说"shit"了 Wow, we can say "shit" in school now?
真搞笑 Oh, this is ridiculous.
就因为他们在电视上说了就表示这个词没有禁忌了 Just because they say it on TV, it's all right?
是的 不过只能使用它的名词 Yes, but only in the figurative noun form
或形容词形式 or the adjective form.
哈？ Huh?
只能在非其字面意思时使用 You can only use it in the nonliteral sense.
例如 For instance:
"那是我的一张傻逼照" "That's a shitty picture of me,"
这样可以 is now fine.
但是 字面的名词意思 However, the literal noun form of,
"这是张大便的照片" 仍然禁忌使用 "This is a picture of shit," is still naughty.
- 听不懂 - 我也是 - I don't get it. - Me neither.
现在 形容词形式也可以接受 The adjective form is now also acceptable.
例如 "天气真操蛋" "The weather outside is shitty."
但是 字面的形容词意思是不可接受的 However, the literal adjective is not appropriate.
例如 For example:
"我拉肚子 搞得马桶上屎屎的 "My bad diarrhea made the inside of the toilet bowl shitty,
我得用抹布清理 "and I had to clean it with a rag
结果抹布也搞得屎屎的" which then also became shitty."
这就大错特错了 That's right out.
S...S...
shit Shit!
很好 Timmy Very good, Timmy.
Ms Choksondik Uh, Ms. Choksondik,
可以用它来做感叹词吗 can we say it in the expletive,
例如 "噢 靠" 或者 "我靠" like, "oh, shit", or, "shit on a shingle"?
可以 现在可以了 Yes, that's now fine.
哇 太好啦---全新词汇 Wow, this is gonna be great-- a whole new word.
根本就不是 It's not new!
我要去百科全书里找到 "shit" 来证明它早就存在 I'm gonna look "shit" up in the encyclopedia and prove it.
大家别介意Kyle Don't mind Kyle, everyone.
他阴道里有沙子 He's just got a little sand in his vagina.
我阴道里没有沙子 There's no sand in my vagina!
孩子们 不要污言秽语 靠 Boys, watch your language, shit!
所以 孩子们And so, children, instead of saying,
我不说"交上你们的作业" "hand in your papers",
而说 "交上你们的垃圾" I may now say, "hand in your shit".
有问题吗 Any questions?
如果我要说 "我要拉屎"呢 What about, "I have to take a shit"?
不行 Filmore! No! No, Filmore!
你可以说 "我要便便" You can say, "I have to poop and shit",
或者 "靠 我要便便" or, "oh, shit, I have to poop",
但不能说 "我要拉屎" but not, "I have to shit".
- 明白了没有 - 没有 - Are we all clear? - No!
主要是和语境有关 Look, it's all about context.
例如 我最近出柜了 For example, recently, I have come out
承认自己是同性恋 and admitted that I was a homosexual.
我是玻璃 I'm gay.
也就是说 现在我可以说 "基佬" That means that now I can say the word "fag".
而在电视上一般不允许说 "基佬" On television, they usually don't allow "fag".
但因为我是同性恋 所以我可以说 But because I'm gay, it's all right.
而且 由于"shit"也可以使用 And with the new approval of the word "shit",
这意味着 我终于可以自由地说- that means that finally, I am free to say...
嘿 屎屎的 屎屎的 基佬 基佬 ♪ Hey, there, Shitty Shitty Fag Fag ♪
嘿 屎屎的 屎屎的 基佬 基佬 你好吗 ♪ Shitty Shitty Fag Fag, how do ya do ♪
嘿 屎屎的 屎屎的 基佬 基佬 ♪ Hey, there, Shitty Shitty Fag Fag ♪
嘿 屎屎的 屎屎的 基佬 基佬 你好吗 ♪ Shitty Shitty Fag Fag, how do you do ♪
哦 太爽了 Oh, this is great.
这家店里的破烂还真不错 Well, that store has such lovely shit.
真不巧 我身上一根毛都没带 Yeah, too bad I don't have shit for cash right now.
看来好像要这鸟天要变了 Oh, looks like the weather might turn shitty.
我管个鸟 Oh, I don't really give a shit.
反正我今天在这鸟外面待够了 I've done enough shit outside today and shit.
靠 Peter 你看起来就像一坨屎 Shit, Peter, you look like shit.
少放屁 我是觉得很不舒服 Oh, shit, I feel like shit.
我觉得我- I think I--
我就靠了 Holy shit!
看到了那傻逼了 Did you see that shit?
这是什么鸟事 What kind of shit is this?
真他妈奇怪 That is some weird shit.
Susan 你的鸟东西搞好了 Susan, your shit's ready!
你知道这傻鸟要去哪里吗 You know where this shit goes?
我知道个屌 Shit if I know.
干得好，屎脑瓜 Nice going, shit for brains.
麦当劳大叔有块垃圾 ♪ Old Macdonald took a shit ♪
E-I-E-I-O ♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
我靠 Dumb shit!
嘿 屎屎的 屎屎的 基佬 基佬 ♪ Hey, there, Shitty Shitty Fag Fag ♪
嘿 屎屎的 屎屎的 基佬 基佬 你好吗 ♪ Shitty Shitty Fag Fag, how do ya do ♪
你好 ♪ Hey, there-♪
噢 靠 不好意思 Oh, shit, excuse me.
嘿 小心点 基佬 Hey, watch it, fag!
你叫我什么 What did you call me?
我叫你 基佬 I called you a fag,
我是同性恋 because I'm gay,
所以我可以随便说"基佬" and that means I'm free to use the word "fag"!
滚 你这个屎基佬 So piss off, you fag-shitter.
哈哈哈 Ha, ha, ha!
嘿 屎屎的 屎屎的 基佬 基佬 ♪ Hey, there, Shitty Shitty Fag Fag ♪
嘿 屎屎的 屎屎的 基佬 基佬 噗噗噗噗 ♪ Shitty Shitty Fag Fag, ba doop a doop doo ♪
真挫 This sucks.
现在到处都说 Now that shit's out,
没意思了 it isn't fun to say it anymore.
是啊 他们带走了说这个词的乐趣了 yeah, they've taken all the fun out of "shit".
我们要开始说别的脏话 We're gonna have to start saying other bad words,
例如 鸡巴 还有meecrob like "cock" and "fuck" and "meecrob".
什么是"meecrob" what's "meecrob"?
一种开胃菜 you know, that stuff you get as an appetizer
泰国餐厅里的 at Thai food restaurants.
Meecrob比大便还恶心 Meecrob is way grosser than shit, dude.
我得把它们都拉出来 I'd scarf down a whole wet bucket full of shit
之后才再吃一盘meecrob before I ate another plate of meecrob.
兄弟们 兄弟们 You guys, you guys!
我查到"shit"这个单词了 I looked up the word "shit".
我觉得它 I think it might have something to do
和人们的死亡有关 with people dying.
什么 What?
你没有注意到大家都病了吗 Haven't you noticed everyone getting sick?
都是从电视上说shit以后开始的 It all started when they said "shit" on television.
哦 Kyle 你真meecrob Oh, Kyle, you are so full of meecrob.
我才不meecro- 什么 I am not full of meecro--what?
shit这个词 最早出现在英语里 Look, the word "shit" first showed up
是在14世纪40年代 in English in the 1340's,
跟黑死病出现的时间相同 the same time as something called "The Black Death."
那是什么东西 What's that?
Kyle 你还在不爽 Kyle, do you still have sand in your vagina
我们没有跟你去看"狮子王"吗 about us not going to Lion King with you?
我是说 算了吧 I mean, shit, dude, let it go.
也许是巧合 Look, it might be coincidence,
不过我觉得最好找人问问 but I think we better ask someone.
走吧 Come on!
75%的收视率 天啊 难以置信啊 A 75 share--my God, I never thought it was possible.
先生 你的shit主意 Sir, your "shit" idea
扭转了整个电视台的局面 has turned the entire network around.
能为您效力真是荣幸万分啊 We're proud to work for you.
先生 我想借着这个机会- Sir, I'd just like to take this opportunity--
代表大家说- and I'm sure I speak for all of us
您是好莱坞最具有创造力的天才 when I say you are the most creative genius in Hollywood.
一切听您调配 And, well, I'd let you have me if you wanted.
谢谢 Roger 这才刚开始 Thanks, Roger, but I've only just started.
我已经制定好 You see, I've already figured out
新的市场推广策略 our new marketing scheme technique
用于下一个节目 for the next run of shows.
哇 他势不可挡啊 Whoa! He's unstoppable.
- 新的计划是什么 - 我都迫不及待了 - What's the new idea? - I can hardly wait.
我要失禁了 I'm about to piss myself.
本周六 HBC台 我们要说 This Saturday, on HBC, we're going to say...
shit…两次 "shit"... Twice.
- 两次 - 太绝了 -Twice! - Brilliant.
重复说 Think of the repetition.
就好像 说了一次 但其实是两次 It's like saying it once, but double.
先生们 我们开始吧 Well, gentlemen, let's get on it.
Ho!
宝贝 你真好 ♪ Baby, you are so fine ♪
shit ♪ And shit ♪
你做的狗屁事和你说的狗屁话 ♪ The shit you do, the shit you say ♪
我要天天扑上你的- ♪ I'll jump on your shit any day ♪
好啊 孩子们 Oh, hello, there, children.
好啊 大厨 Hey, Chef.
大厨 你知道shit是从哪里来的吗 Chef, do you know where "shit" comes from?
从你屁股里 孩子们 Uh, from your ass, children.
不不不 我是说"shit"这个字 No, no, no-- the word "shit".
哦… Ohh...
阴道有沙探长认为 "shit" Detective Sandy Vagina here thinks that "shit"
可能跟大家患病有关系 might have something to do with everyone getting sick.
书上说"shit"这个字 It said in my book that the word "shit"
出现的时间刚好 Started the exact same time
是黑死病出现的时间 as something called "The Black Death."
黑死病 你确定吗 The Black Death? Are you sure?
大厨 黑死病是什么 What's the Black Death, Chef?
Latoya Jackson 孩子们 Latoya Jackson, children.
Ohh!
但我想 在早些年 But I think, back in those days,
它是指别的东西 it meant something else--
瘟疫 The Plague.
书上说"shit"这个字已存在六百多年了 It says here the word "shit" has been around for over 600 years.
它是从盎格鲁撒克逊语中的"scite"演化而来的 It comes from the Anglo-Saxon word "scite."
没错 但是在14世纪40年代 right, but in the 1340's,
英国人不讲 "scite" people in England stopped calling it "scite"
而开始讲 "shit" and started calling it "shit"--
同年 黑死病爆发 the same year as the black plague.
这本书是图书馆里年代最久的一本 This is the oldest book in the library--
无价之宝 原版英国史 a priceless original of England's history.
一切你想知道的 关于瘟疫的资料 Just about everything you could want to know about the plague
都在这本书里 is in this great tome.
哦 靠 Oh, shit.
这本书里也有些不错的信息 Well, this other book has some good information, too.
黑死病 The Black Plague--
过半数的欧洲人死于这种病 over half of Europe was killed by it.
看啊 他们把肠子都吐出来了 Look, they're puking out their intestines
和这里的人一样 just like the people here.
看这个 孩子们 Look at this, children.
这里说英国人 It says the people in England
深信黑死病是个诅咒 believed that the plague was a curse,
"一种黑魔法 "a dark magic infliction
由于大量使用某个诅咒语而引发" brought on by a mass utterance of a word of curse."
诅咒语 Word of curse?
诅咒语 对啊 -A...curse word. - Of course!
我从来都没想过 I've never even thought
为什么用的是"诅咒语"这个词 about why we use the term "curse word" before.
因为它带来灾难 比如黑死病 Because it brings a curse, like the Black Death.
各位 看 You guys, look here.
在这个"Nancy Drew" 神话故事里 In this Nancy Drew mystery,
Nancy把沙滩上的沙子弄鞋子里去了 Nancy goes to the beach and gets sand trapped in her shoe.
这可以解释 Kyle是怎么把沙子弄进他的阴道里去的 This could explain how Kyle got it in his vagina.
Cartman 说正事呢 Cartman, this is serious!
我也是 Kyle So am I, Kyle.
你阴道里的沙子不清理出来 If that sand in your vagina doesn't get released,
你就是个移动的定时炸弹 you could become a walking time bomb.
嘿 嘿 嘿 Heh, heh, heh.
不好意思 我现在要关门了 if you don't mind, I'll have to close up now.
HBC台 会放七次shit- They're going to say "shit" seven times on HBC and--
- 我就靠了 - 真恶心 - Holy shit! - Oh-ho, gross!
这场瘟疫就像野火已经蔓延开了 Dude, this plague is spreading like wildfire.
啊哦 - Uh-oh. - Uh-oh.
Kenny中招啦 Kenny's got it, heh, heh.
我们得采取点行动了 大厨 We gotta do something, Chef.
如果我们再不制止那电视台的话 If we don't stop that network,
shit会变得更为大家所接受的 "shit" will become an even more acceptable word.
孩子们 我们得去告诉好莱坞那帮制作人 Children, we've got to warn those producers in Hollywood
这场瘟疫可能和shit有联系 that the plague and "shit" could be linked.
你们好 女士们先生们 我是机长 Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain speaking.
如果你们往飞机右侧看 If you look out the right side of the aircraft,
你们会看到一些有趣的鸟东西 you can see some interesting shit.
而在左侧 And over on the left side,
也有一些有趣的鸟东西 there's some interesting shit, too.
我们将在两小时后到达洛杉矶 We should be arriving in Los Angeles in about two hours.
到达目的地之前 请各位坐好 放松 Until then, we invite you to sit back, relax,
并享受我们的鸟服务 and enjoy our shitty service.
他妈的 Kenny 别把你的瘟疫细菌传染到我身上 God damn it, Kenny, don't get your plague germs on me!
Cartman 别那么混蛋 Cartman, stop being an asshole!
收视率出来了 先生 The ratings are in, sir.
昨晚我们又创新记录了 We broke another record last night
我们说了七次"shit" with the show that said "shit" seven times.
收视极限在哪里啊 Where is the roof on this thing?
我是说 我们要怎样才能超越自我呢 I mean, how can we top ourselves now?
先生们 我有个主意 Gentlemen, I have it,
史无前例的终极无敌推广计划 the end-all, greatest marketing ploy of all time.
今晚 HBC台 现场直播所有的情景喜剧 Tonight, on HBC, we will air all our sitcoms live
每个演员的台词都是"shit" and have everyone say "shit" in place of their written lines.
我们称它为 "必须shit台" And we'll call it "Must Shit TV."
精彩 Bravo!
百万shit之夜 Night of a million shits!
实际操作有一定困难 所以我们 Now, doing this live will be difficult, so we must--
且慢 制片人先生 Hold on a minute, Mr. Producer.
你是谁 Who are you?
我是大厨 他们是孩子们 My name is Chef, and these are the children.
我们是来告诉你们关于shit的事情 We've come to warn you about "shit".
不是吧 又是个基督徒抗议组织 Oh, brother, another Christian protest group.
谁来搞定他们 Who wants to take this one?
我来 I'll get it.
先生们 感谢你们的关注 Gentlemen, we appreciate your concern.
HBC台的总体目标就是 Here at HBC, the general goal is providing
提供最高质量 最有深度的娱乐节目 the highest, most thought-provoking entertainment.
生活在一个艺术家们可以自由表达自我的国度里 How great is it that we live in a country
这是多么美妙啊 where an artist can express himself freely.
这不仅是美国精神 也是HBC精神 That's not only the American spirit; it's the HBC spirit,
这种精神引导我们制作了优秀的家庭节目 which allows us to make great family programming,
比如 "光环乌龟" like Halo the Turtle,
当然还有广受欢迎的剧情片《警察故事》 and, of course, everyone's favorite show, Cop Drama.
十分感谢你们对我们电视台的关注 We can't thank you enough for bringing your concerns
是你们这些HBC的忠实观众 to our network, for it is you, the loyal HBC viewer,
成就了这个伟大的电视台 who makes this great network
和这个伟大的国度 and, indeed, the great country that it is.
好了 正如我刚才所说 All right, now, as I was saying--
- 嘿 且慢 - 他们怎么还没走 - Hey, hold on a minute! - Are they still here?
你们没有注意到发生了些奇怪的事吗 Haven't you people noticed all the strange things going on?
我们觉得可能是你们引起的 We think that you might have caused it
因为把shit变成了日常用语 by helping make "shit" an everyday word.
是啊 是啊 Right, right.
是真的 It's true.
可能是这个词使Kenny患上了瘟疫 We think that word might be plaguing our friend Kenny.
你们有证据吗 Do you have any proof of this?
没有 No.
那你们就自己快滚吧 别让我动手 Then get out of here before we have you thrown out!
这个"光环乌龟"玩偶还是我们的吧 But we can keep the Halo the Turtle dolls, right?
该死的制作人白人鬼子 Damn cracker-ass producers!
现在怎么办呀 大厨 Now what are we gonna do, Chef?
不知道 孩子们 I don't know, children.
得想点别的方法 让大家不说这个词 I guess we got to get the word out to people some other way.
Aaahh!
哦 靠 Oh, shit!
Aaahh!
让开 Stand aside!
好 现在我们 All right, now, we have to get
要让所有的大腕都说"shit" all our biggest names to say "shit."
然后 我们 And then we're gonna--
终止你们邪恶的计划 Halt your evil plans!
哈？ Huh?
我持有"毁灭圣石" I possess the Rune Stone of Undoing.
这里谁负责 Who is in charge here?
哦 不是吧 Oh, no!
你们为我庆生 请的不是脱衣舞女啊 You guys didn't hire me a stripper for my birthday.
哦 告诉我 你们没有 Oh, tell me you guys didn't.
露出真庐山面目吧 Geldan 免得吓死你 Show your true form, Geldan, lest you be afraid.
你短暂的一生要终止了 Your short time in this world is at an end.
啊 毁灭圣石不管用 Ach! The rune stone has no effect.
你不是Geldan You are not Geldan.
我从来没有说过我是 I never said I was.
即使你不是 还是难逃一死 You'll die anyway,
因为是你将这个诅咒词传播开的 for you have spread the word of curse.
保安 Security.
Aach!
你是谁 Who are you?
拿着 Take this.
这个有什么用 What are we supposed to do with it?
Ehhhgggh.
现在怎么办 Now what?
我们得找到一个 We've got to find people who know
清楚一切情况的人 what the hell this is all about.
孩子们 我们要去个 Children, we're gonna have to go to the land
有城堡 骑士和国王的地方 of castles, knights, and kings.
先生们 女士们 欢迎来到 Lords and Ladies, we bid you welcome
世界上最豪华的赌场 to the grandest casino in the land--
神剑 Excalibur!
转盘免费玩 运气倍增哦 Take a free spin. Double your odds.
请问你是在这里工作吗 Excuse me, do you work here?
有什么能为你效劳吗 尊贵的先生 How can I help you, noble sir?
我们要找人鉴定一块古老的英国石头 We need some help identifying an ancient English stone.
什么 A what?
这搞不好是一场灾难的关键所在 It might hold the key to a curse.
我可以帮你们拿些筹码 Uh, I can help get you some credit
或带你们去吃饭 or a comp meal, perhaps.
我们得找个英国人帮忙 Dude, we need help from the British.
孩子 这不过是个赌场 Look, kid, this is just a casino.
我也无能为力 I can't help you.
不是每个英国人 You know, not every British person
都知道巫师 龙和诅咒语 knows about wizards and dragons and curses.
我们只是想找人鉴定一下这个 We just need help identifying this.
盖尔人的毁灭石 你们从哪里搞来的 a rune stone of Gaelic! Where did you get this?
你知道这是什么 You know what it is?
Skire曾经提过这么一块石头 The Skire once spoke of such a stone.
走 我们得去见见巫师 Come, we must see the sorcerer.
敬请收看 必须shit电视 Get ready for Must Shit TV!
现在播出 整整四个小时全shit节目 Starting now, four straight hours of pure shit!
现场直播 It's all live!
嘿 shit Hey...shit.
嘿 shit Hey, shit.
耶 耶shit Yeah. Yeah, shit.
就是这个 我最伟大的作品 This is it, my greatest work.
鸡尾酒 鸡尾酒 Cocktails, cocktails.
这些美国人想见Skire These Americans wish to see the Skire.
我们快点进密室 Let us make haste to the Inner Sanctum.
你们这些愚蠢的美国人 How could you foolish Americans
怎么唤醒了愤怒之源 bring the wrath of scorn
这么大量使用这个卑劣的词 by mass chanting the word of wretchedness?
是啊 我们也不是故意的 Uh, yeah, we didn't mean to.
难道你们不知道shit是个诅咒语吗 Didn't you realize "shit" is a curse word?
但我们不知道"诅咒语"就是- Well, yeah, but I don't think we knew
诅咒的语言 that "curse word" meant... curse word.
对美国人来说 否就是 Ha, leave it to Americans to think that no means yes,
生气就是愤怒 "pissed" means angry,
诅咒语 and "curse word" means something
反正就不是被诅咒的意思 other than a word that's cursed!
- 给我看一下圣石 - 但我搞不懂 Let me see the stone. - But I don't get it.
大家一直都在说诅咒词 People use curse words all the time.
偶尔说下是没事的 Saying a word of curse once in a while does nothing.
只有当人们重复大量地使用时 It's only when spoken repeatedly and en masse
诅咒才会发生 that the curse takes place.
我之前看过这个 I've seen this before.
圣石是 Stones that were used by the Knights
护法骑士所拥有的 of Standards and Practices.
护法骑士？ Knights of Standards and Practices?
一群发誓尽其所能 A legion of men sworn to do whatever necessary
封印那些诅咒语的骑士 to keep the words at bay.
但 他们只是存在于神话中 But they were just a myth.
你知道吗 "You know what?
你就是一傻鸟 You're dumb as shit."
是吗 "Oh, yeah?
我他妈的才不屌你呢 Well, I don't really give a shit."
那个词有点老套了 You know, that word's getting kind of old.
没什么意思了 It's not really funny anymore.
他们很快就会想出 Yeah, they're gonna have to come up
另的脏话了 with a new swear word soon.
他们不能用"基佬"这个词 Well, they can't use "fag",
因为只有同志才能用"基佬 " because you can't say "fag" unless you're a homosexual.
真的吗 Really?
那么我们不能说- So we can't say ""?
不能 看到吧 你被消音了 No, see, you got beeped.
你是说 你得是-才可以说- You mean you have to be a to say ""?
没错 That's right.
不公平啊 Well, that's not fair.
我也应该让说"基佬" I should be able to say "fag"!
嘿 你没有被消音 Hey, you didn't get beeped.
Uh-oh.
哟哟哟 看我们发现了 Well, well, well, guess we learned
你一些新事迹啊 Jimbo你这个傻逼基佬 something new about you, Jimbo, you friggin' fag.
想不想亲热一下 You wanna make out or something?
哦天哪 我就是个废物 "Oh, man, I am up shit creek."
活该 白痴 "Serves you right, shit for brains."
我怎么会这么傻 "Man, how could I be such a dumb sh--"
不准说那个词 Say not the word of curse!
Ugh!
搞什么-我就日了 What the--- Holy shit!
这集真的够格做试播了 Oh, boy, this show is reallyreaching for plot now.
这些骑士将 The knights were formed
诅咒语的使用量控制在最低 to keep curse words to a minimum.
只要说一次 他们就会回来的 Should a curse word ever be let out, they would return.
一块圣石对应着一个诅咒语 A rune stone for each word of curse was made,
分别代表了八个亵渎上帝的词 representing each of the eight words that so offended God.
看 有f开头的那个词 Look, there's the "f" word.
还有 混蛋 and "asshole".
我就知道有这个 Meecrob I knew it-- "meecrob"!
Meecrob就是个诅咒语 "Meecrob" is a curse word!
上帝一定是跟我一样讨厌它 God must hate it as much as I do.
看这个 Look at this --
上面的文字说 这块圣石 The writing here claims this stone
可以打败邪恶的Geldan can defeat the evil Geldan, who will rise
当诅咒语说的次数够多时 when the word of curse has been said
Gelden就会充满能量苏醒过来 enough times to give him power.
整个世界就要被毁灭了 Then all the world will be destroyed.
整个世界就要被毁灭？ All the world destroyed?
我家也会吗 My house, too?
- 啊 不好 - 怎么了 - Oh, no! - What?
今晚是HBC的"百万shit之夜" Tonight is the night of a million shits on HBC!
这个词将被一遍遍的说 It's gonna be said over and over.
那我们没时间了 Then we haven't much time.
得出发了We must go.
把广播设备全部关掉 Turn off those devices of broadcast!
搞什么东西 少在这里放屁 What is going on here? Stop this shit.
我们是皇家护法骑士 We are the Royal Order of Standards and Practices!
我们命令你们 停止说那些诅咒语 We command you to stop saying the curse word.
听好了 亮晶晶裤子先生 Listen, Mr. Shiny Pants,
我是电视台的负责人 I am the head of this network,
我想说怎么说shit 就怎么说 and I will say "shit" all I want.
shit shit shit shit shit Shit, shit. Shit, shit, shit.
shit shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit --
shit shit shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit --
shit shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!
哦 我靠 Oh, shit.
现在回到 必须shit电视 And now back to Must Shit TV,
就在HBC here on HBC.
它太凶猛了 He is too strong!
没有圣石 我们打不过它 We cannot fight him without the rune stone!
天呐 先生 My-- my God, sir,
你把什么东西放出来了 What have you unleashed upon the world?
我不知道 I didn't know.
我不知道 I didn't know!
我根本搞不懂这演的都是什么鸟情节 I-I can't follow this shitty story line at all.
等等 Wait!
哦 天呐 那怪物阴道里真的有沙子 Oh, boy, that thing has really got sand in its vagina.
圣石 用它对着Geldan The rune stone! Face it towards Geldan.
衰 Ah, dude, lame.
噢 衰 挫了 Lame, bummer, dude.
这声音真白痴 What a stupid voice.
没事了 诅咒消失了 it's okay. The curse has been lifted.
-什么？ -哈？ - What? - Huh?
恩 我们还得保证它不会再回来 Yeah, we all gotta make sure it doesn't come back.
今天我们学到一些东西 You see, we've learned something today.
可能说粗口是很有趣 但总说的话 Swearing can be fun, but doing it all the time
就会出问题 causes a lot of problems.
我们说太多次S词了 We're all saying the "s" word too much.
Kyle.
看 Gerald Kyle上电视了 Look, Gerald, Kyle's on television.
Uh-huh.
护法骑士 The Knights of Standards and Practices were created
是来确保人们少说粗口的 to make sure that bad words were kept to a minimum.
诅咒语 Curse words--
这么称呼 是因为它们受过诅咒 they're called that because they are cursed.
我们得回到以前 We have to go back to only using curse words
只能在极少数 极端的情况下才使用 in rare, extreme circumstances.
另外 总是使用粗口 And besides, so much use of a dirty word
就起不到粗口的作用 takes away from its impact.
我们信仰言论自由 We believe in free speech and all that,
但是留有一些宗教禁忌词 but leaving a few words taboo
可以增加点语言的乐趣 just adds to the fun of English.
所以 拜托大家 So please, everyone,
从现在起 你们要注意你们的谈吐 from now on, you've got to try and watch your language.
Yeah.
言之有理 It makes sense. got that right.
节目还在演吗 Is this still part of the show?
很抱歉 尊贵的护法骑士 We're sorry, noble Knights of Standards and Practices.
从现在起 我们会好好遵守要求的 From now on, we will obey your laws.
好的 See that you do.
孩子们 我为你们感到自豪 I'm very proud of you, children.
走吧 我们回家 Let's all go home and find
找个白人美女来爽吧 a nice white woman to make love to.
好啊 Kenny 没有死呢 Yeah, and Kenny didn't die.
是啊 我没有 Yeah, I didn't--
我就-晕了 Holy sh-- poop.
我爱你们 Ha, I love you guys.