-=风软FRM字幕组=- 翻译:小皮 校对:小皮 iTunes：Tearemix 双语合成 罗小泡
南方公园 第4季 第2集 南方公园教父 South.Park.S04E02.The.Tooth.Fairys.Tats.
♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
妈妈! 妈妈! Mom, Mom!
妈妈!说真的! 有好事发生了! Mom, seriously, something wonderful has happened!
是什么啊 小笨蛋? What is it, snookums?
妈妈 看! 是牙齿精灵! Mom, look.The Tooth Fairy.
我放了个牙齿在枕头底下，她就给我了两块钱! I put a tooth under my pillow,and she gave me $2.
以前她只给过我可怜兮兮的25分钱! She's only given me a lousy quarter before.
哦 天呐! Oh, my.
她肯定觉得你是个非常特别的小家伙 She must think that you are a very special little muffin.
太好了! 这个太以牙还钱了!(tit 双关咪咪 是电视禁词之一) Yeah, this is so tits!
不要说这个词 Eric Don't say tits, Eric.
哦 我是说 这太帅了! Oh, I mean, this is so cool!
那现在 或许你应该用这些钱 Well, perhaps now you should take that money
开一个银行账户把钱存起来 and open up a savings account
这样就可以每天有利息 that has compounded daily interest.
嘿 你可以存银行得利息得个毛 妈妈 You can compound daily my ass with interest, Mom.
我要去玩具店买个滑板! I'm going to the toy store and buy me a skateboard.
但是 Eric 也许牙齿精灵希望 But, Eric,I think maybe the Tooth Fairy
你用那些钱来学习怎么存钱 wants you to use that money to learn about saving.
妈妈 你又不知道牙齿精灵 Mom, you don't know what the Tooth Fairy
想要我怎么用这些钱 好吧? wants me to do with this money, okay?
你又不是牙齿精灵! 一会见! You're not the Tooth Fairy. I'll see you later.
哦 天呐 这个太以牙还钱了! Oh, man, this is so tits!
嘿 各位! 你们绝对不会相信的! You guys, you're not going to believe this!
哦 天呐 是真的! Oh, my god, you guys, seriously!
不是亲耳听见你们绝对不会相信! Just wait until you hear this,you guys!
我是有钱人了! 我绝对是个有钱人了! I'm rich,I'm totally rich!
你们激动不?! Aren't you stoked?
Cartman他怎么回事?! What the hell's wrong with Cartman?
他又肥又蠢? He's fat and he's stupid?
看昨天晚上牙齿精灵给我留下了什么! Look at what the Tooth Fairy left me last night.
- 两美金! - 不是吧! $2.- No way.
- 就一个牙齿? - 就一个牙齿 For one tooth?- For one tooth.
啊 我每掉一个牙才得25分钱 Dude, every time I lost a tooth, I only got a quarter.
我只能得一罐gefilte鱼(一道犹太菜) I only got a jar of gefilte fish.
没关系 Well, that doesn't matter,
我有个绝对以牙来钱的好主意 because I have an ideathat is totally tits.
绝对什么? Totally what?
听着，我也不知道为什么 Look, I don't know why the Tooth Fairy's
牙齿精灵对我这么好 being so cool to me.
也许她对我有好感 我不知道 Maybe she's hot for me.I don't know.
不过如果我们都把牙齿捐出来 But if we all chip in with teeth,
然后藏到我枕头下面 then I can hide them under my pillow,
就能有钱买"妖刀"了(日本世嘉公司98年出售的游戏机) and we can get enough money to buy a Sega Dreamcast.
妖刀?? Sega Dreamcast?
只要有牙齿就行了 All we need is teeth.
我的乳牙已经全部换掉了 I already lost all my baby teeth.
我也是 Me too.
Mm-mm.
你还有乳牙 Kenny? You still have baby teeth,Kenny?
不行! -Kenny 考虑一下啊 难道你不想要妖刀? No way!- Kenny, think about it.
难道你不想要妖刀? Don't you want a Sega Dreamcast?
(不想! 谢谢)太好了! Kenny同意了!! Alright, Kenny's in,you guys!
太以牙还钱了 Tits!
好了 这根绳子绑Kenny牙齿上 Okay, the string is tied to Kenny's tooth.
你那边好了吗? You ready over there?
差不多了 准备好了吗 Timmy? Almost.
准备好了吗 Timmy? -Timmiihh! You ready, Timmy?- Timmy!
等我说"开始" 你就把电椅调到高速档 好吗 Timmy? When I say go, you slam
你就把电椅调到高速档 your electric wheelchair into high gear.
好吗 Timmy? - Timmiihh! Okay, Timmy?- Timmy!
- 没错 你就是Timmy -Timmiihh! Right, you're Timmy.- Timmy, labalayah!
我来告诉你为什么得是你 Kenny I'll tell you why it has to be you, Kenny.
因为你家穷 Because your family is poor
...所以你的牙齿不好 and therefore has bad oral hygiene,
反正你的牙齿早晚都会掉的 so your teeth are going to fall out someday anyway.
如果你好好想想 你其实应该谢谢我们 If you think about it, you should actually be thanking us.
"哦 谢谢" "Oh, thank you guys."
"不客气 Kenny" -操你妈! You're welcome, Kenny.- Fuck you!
好了! 准备 Timmy Alright, get ready, Timmy.- Timmy!
嘿 各位 你-你们在干什么? Hey guys, what are you doing?
你觉得我们在干什么 Butters? What does it look like we're doing, Butters?
我们需要牙齿 We need a tooth,so we're using
所以用Timmy的轮椅来拔Kenny的 Timmy's wheelchair to pull out one of Kenny's.
哦 嘿 我这有个掉下来的牙齿 Oh, hey, I got a loose tooth right here.
你有什么? - You what?- You what?
是啊 Timmy!- Yep.
掉下来不到两个小时 One of mine came out not two hours ago.
Uh Butters 能不能给我们? Uh, Butters, could we have it?
当然不能! 不能给你们 Well, heck, no,you can't have it.
为什么 我要把它塞枕头底下 Why, I'm going to stick it under my pillow
从牙齿精灵那换钱 and get money from the Tooth Fairy.
她给我一个牙齿换50分钱 She gives me 50 cents a tooth.
再见了 伙伴们 Well, I'll see you, fellas.
兄弟们 我们不一定非得 Dude, maybe we don't have to rip a tooth
从Kenny嘴里拔牙 out of Kenny's mouth.
对，只要拿到Butters的牙齿就行了 Yeah, we just have to get Butters' tooth.
我们怎么才从他那里拿过来? Whoo-hoo!- How we gonna get it from him?
我想我们得今晚在他睡觉后 I guess we'll have to sneak into his house
溜进他家了 after he goes to sleep tonight.
好 走吧 -走! Timmy 走! Yeah, let's go.- Go, Timmy, go!
-Timmy! Yaaah, Timmy!
不 Timmy 等等! -Timmy! No, Timmy, wait!- Timmy!
Oof!
嘿 各位 我能看到Kenny的小鸡鸡 You guys, I can see Kenny's little ping-a-ling.
Waaah!
再高点 Higher, you guys.
天呐 为什么我们要挑个胖子举上去? Jesus Christ, why did we pick the fat guy to lift up in there?
啊! 小心点 混蛋! Ah!Careful, you assholes!
往左 左 To the left, you guys, left.
不是 视角向左 视角向左! No, camera left, camera left.
对了 放下 That's it.Now down.
搞什么-? 谁啊? What the?Who's there?
你是谁?! Who is that?
我是牙齿精灵 我的孩子 I am the Tooth Fairy,my child.
哦 对不起 精灵小姐 我不该注视你 Oh, sorry, Miss Fairy,I didn't mean to gaze at you.
我又睡着了 看到了吧? I'm back asleep now.See?
好 现在我要在你的枕头底下留下点音信 Yes, now I will leave you tidings under your pillow.
哎 我没想到你这么胖 Oh, gosh, I didn't think you'd be so fat.
- 嘿!- 快点 死胖子! Hey!- Come on, fat-ass.
明天早上之前不要睁开眼 Do not open your eyes until morning,
不然我就踢你的蛋蛋 or else I will kick you in the nuts,
踢你的蛋蛋 square in the nuts.
是 女士! Yes, ma'am.
- 怎么样? Well?
- 正中靶心 成功! Bull's-eye.
♪ Tucky-tucky time ♪
♪ It's the best time of the night ♪
我喜欢这首歌 妈妈 再唱一遍 I love that song, Mom.Sing it again.
不唱了 宝贝 妈妈得保护嗓子 No, honey,mommy's got to save her throat.
今天晚上还要工作呢 I have to work tonight.
好吧 晚安 Okay.Good night.
那是什么 Eric? What do you have there, Eric?
今天掉的另外一颗牙齿 Another tooth fell out today.
我要留给牙齿精灵 I'm leaving it for the Tooth Fairy.
噢 两天就掉了两个牙齿 Oh, my, the Tooth Fairy will have to give you a big surprise
牙齿精灵会给你一个大大的惊喜的 for losing two teeth in two days.
我知道? I know, huh?
各位! 哦 天呐 各位! You guys,oh, my God, you guys!
你们绝对不会相信! You're not going to believe it!
太意外了 各位! It's beyond rational thought,you guys!
我靠 各位! Holy crap, you guys!
- 牙齿精灵来了吗? - 四美元 Did the tooth fairy come?- $4.
哦 天呐! Oh, my God!- Wow!
你们知道这意味着什么吗? Do you guys know what this means?
知道 我们继续找牙齿 Yeah, we just got to keep finding teeth
放你枕头下面 and putting them under your pillow.
牙医办公室 Dentist's office.
哦 你好 Roberts医生? Oh, hello.Dr. Roberts?
我是Ms.Cartman It's Miss Cartman.
哦 Ms.Cartman 有什么需要效劳的吗? Oh, yes, Miss Cartman,what can I do for you?
是我儿子 Well, it's my son.
他掉了好多乳牙 He's lost a lot of his baby teeth,
我开始有点担心了 and I was starting to get worried.
掉乳牙是自然过程 Ms.Cartman Well, losing baby teeth is a natural thing, Miss Cartman.
他掉了多少? How many has he lost?
大概112个 About 112.
112?
是的 一个晚上15个 Yes.15 of them in one night.
是不是该给他换牙膏了? Perhaps he should switch toothpaste?
你儿子不会是只"鳄鱼"吧?(鳄鱼终身换齿) Your son wouldn't happen to be an alligator, would he?
不是? 我知道了 恐怕我现在帮不了你 No?Hmm, I see.
恐怕我现在帮不了你 Well, I'm afraid I can't help you right now.
美国牙齿协会这个星期开会 The American Dental Association Convention is this week.
不过我一回来 就可以检查 But as soon as I get back,I'll look into it.
哦 谢谢 Oh, thank you.
下周免费赠送 Freebie next week!
什么? What?
Ti--
牙齿? Tooth?
搞什么鬼? What the hell?
妈妈!-怎么了，Eric？ Mom!- Yes, Eric?
这个蠢牙齿精灵昨晚忘了给我钱了! The stupid Tooth Fairy forgot to bring me money last night.
快报警! -Eric 宝宝 坐下 Call the police.- Oh, Eric, poopie, sit down.
妈妈有些事要告诉你 Mommy has something to tell you.
就是... It's just that...
没有什么牙齿精灵 Eric Well, there is no Tooth Fairy,Eric.
一直把钱放你枕头下的人是我 I've been putting all that money under your pillow.
因为你牙齿掉的太多 And because you've had so many teeth fall out,
妈妈已经没钱了 I've actually run out of money and can't go
而且至少一个月都不能去采购食物了 to the grocery store for at least a month.
你还真骗到了我一下 妈妈 You almost had me for a second there, Mom.
呵呵 "没有牙齿精灵" There's no tooth fairy.
我估计你要告诉我圣诞老人 复活节兔子或者耶稣也是假的咯 I suppose you're going to tell me
圣诞老人,复活节兔子或者耶稣也是假的咯 there's no Santa Claus,Easter Bunny, or Jesus either.
妈妈? Mom?
对不起 Eric I'm sorry, Eric.
小孩子们早晚都会知道真相的 All children find out sooner or later.
你说真的 You--you're serious here.
真的没有牙齿精灵? There really is no Tooth Fairy?
没有 宝贝 只是- No, honey, it's just--
怎么能? 怎么能骗我呢 母亲? How could--how could you lie to me, Mother?
当着我的面说谎? Lie right to my face.
噢 Eric 这也是童年的一部分啊 Oh, Eric,it's just part of being a child.
怎么能相信你? How can I trust you?
怎么再让我相信你 母亲? How can I trust anyone ever again, Mother?
看来 这一辈子 I guess that to make it in this life,
我唯一能相信的人只有自己了 I can only trust myself.
我自己 当然还有Wilkins熊 Myself and Willikins Bear,of course.
Eric! Eric 等等! Eric.Eric, wait.
不 母亲! 不想再听谎言了! No, Mother!No more lies!
老兄 钱呢?- 没钱 Dude, where's the money?- There is no money.
- 没了?? No more money?
你在说什么呢 Cartman?! What are you talking about,Cartman?
只差167美元就可以买一个妖刀了! We're only $167 away from getting a Sega.
- 我知道! - Cartman 怎么回事?! I know.- Cartman, what's going on?
你们... You guys...
哦 天呐 我都不知道该怎么跟你们说 Oh, God, I don't even know how to tell you this.
跟我们说什么?! Tell us what?
牙齿精灵不存在 You guys, there's--there's no Tooth Fairy, you guys.
我说了 There, I said it.
什么意思 "牙齿精灵不存在?" What do you mean there's no Tooth Fairy?
一直给我钱的是我妈妈 My mom's been giving us the money all this time.
给你们钱的是你们的父母 And your parents are the ones who left you money.
不可能啊 Dude.- That can't be.
我爸妈才不会骗我 My parents wouldn't lie to me.
但是现在 因为我妈妈给我们太多的钱 But now my mom's given us so much money
她就没钱了 我们家穷死了 就像Kenny家 that she's bankrupt,and we're poor like Kenny.
别碰我 Kenny -你乱说！ Don't touch me, Kenny.- You're wrong!
如果我爸爸说了什么是真的 If my dad says something is real,
那就是真的! then it's real.
Kyle 醒醒吧 唉! Kyle, open your eyes, man.
这不是真的! It's not true!
好啊 儿子 Oh, hello, son.
爸爸 牙齿精灵是真实存在的 对吧? Dad, there is so a Tooth Fairy, huh?
什么? 哦 What?Oh.
Kyle 我们谈谈吧 Kyle, let's have a little talk.
哦 天呐! 你真的骗了我！ Oh my god, you did lie to me!
不是 Kyle 她是虚构的 No, Kyle,she's just make-believe,
就像彼得潘 like Peter Pan.
彼得潘也是假的?? Peter Pan too?
Kyle -那摩西和亚伯拉罕呢? Kyle--what about Moses and Abraham?
他们可能是真的 Well, they were probably real.
可能?! 那亚特兰蒂斯是不是真的?? Probably?Is Atlantis real?
可能不是 Probably not.
但是，Kyle 大人编这些东西 But, Kyle,adults make up those things
是因为孩子们觉得很有趣 because they're fun for children.
孩子们觉得 很有趣?! Fun for children?Fun for children?
你看看我 爸爸! Look at me, dad.
我都分不清真假了! I don't even know what's real anymore, yaaahhh!
唉 真不敢相信大人们 Man, I can't believe all our parents
骗我们牙齿精灵的事 lied to us about the Tooth Fairy.
Dan Rather呢? 你觉得他是真的吗?(CBS晚间新闻主播) What about Dan Rather?Do you think he's real?
不是啊 那只是个电视节目 No, man.That's just a TV show.
兄弟们! 兄弟们! 我知道了! You guys, you guys,I figured it out!
什么? 你爸妈也对你撒谎了? What, that your parents lied to you too?
是 不过 没关系! Yeah, but it's okay.
我们还是可以搞到妖刀! We can still get our Sega Dreamcast.
怎么搞? How?
牙齿精灵是编出来的 对吧? Look, the Tooth Fairy is all made up, right?
都是编的 假的 一切都是假的 All made up, not real.Nothing's real.
我们只要去真正有钱的小孩家 So all we have to do is go to a really rich kid's house,
把我们的牙齿放他枕头下 put our tooth under his pillow,
等他的父母给他一大笔钱 wait for his parents to leave him a whole butt load of money,
...然后我们再溜进去把钱拿走! and then sneak back in and take it.
Whoo-hoo!
那小孩知都不会知道 The kid'll never even know.
哦 这太以牙还钱了! Oh, dude, that is tits!
绝对是以牙还大钱! I mean, that is big fat Oprah tits right there!
哦 天呐 如果我都不是真的怎么办? Oh my God,what if I'm not real?
我们可以坐车去城里 We can take the bus to the city.
那里有超级有钱的人! There's super-rich people down there.
Yeah!
如果我只是我父母本体的一部分? I mean, what if I'm just
本体的一部分? part of my parents' reality?
走吧 Kyle! Come on, Kyle.
如果这一切都只是某人的梦境? What if this is all just somebody's dream?
哇 看看这些房子有多大! Wow, look at the size of these houses.
是啊 樱桃河是丹佛最富有的地区 Told you, dude, Cherry Creek is the richest part of Denver.
我敢说这里的小孩 一颗牙齿至少 I'll bet these kids get at least ten bucks a tooth
能从"牙齿精灵"那里拿到10块钱 from the "Tooth Fairy."
嘿 那栋房子不错 Hey, that house looks perfect.
明显有小孩子住里面 There's obviously kids living there.
这里 因为有"洛克人"贴纸 Here, you can tell this is the kid's window
所以应该是小孩子房间的窗户 'cause it's got Mega Man stickers on it.
Cartman 你一进小孩房间 Cartman, once you're in the kid's room,
把牙齿放他枕头底下 然后就出来 leave the tooth under the pillow, then come back out.
等到家长看到 留下钱 We'll wait for the parents to see it and leave money,
再把你荡回去拿 then swing you back in the house to grab it.
收到 Got it.
这是有史以来最高智商的一次商业冒险 This is the smartest business venture ever.
搞什么-? What the?
嘿 你们这些家伙在干什么?! Hey, what the hell are you guys doing?
我们要偷偷把牙齿放在这个有钱人家孩子的枕头底下 We're gonna sneak a tooth under this rich kid's pillow,
然后再回来拿他父母给他的 then come back and collect the Tooth Fairy money
牙齿精灵的钱 that his parents leave him.
嘿 你们不能这么做! -为什么?! Hey, you can't do that.- Why not?
因为这是我们正在做的事! Because that's what we're doing.
是啊! 你们剽窃了我们的想法! Yeah, you ripped off our idea.
你说什么鬼东西?! What the hell are you talking about?
我们都这么做两年了! We've been doing this for over two years.
两年?衣服挺好看 Two years?- Nice tooth fairy costume.
不过你穿这个 人家会相信吗?! You think anybody'd believe you in that?
总比你的好 It's better than your dress.
你看起来就像噩梦版的詹妮弗洛佩茨! You look like a bad Jennifer Lopez nightmare.
你怎么敢这么说! How dare you!
这是我们的地盘! Look, this is our turf.
在老大打断你们腿之前 最好赶快滚! You better scram before the boss breaks your legs.
你们滚! 我们先来的! You scram.We were here first.
怎么回事? What's going on?
哦!是牙齿精灵们! Oh, it's the Tooth Fairies.
这下好了! 你们把他吵醒了! Oh, nice going.Now you woke him up.
是你们把他吵醒的! You woke him up.
我还没有掉下来的牙齿精灵小姐们 I don't have any loose teeth,Miss Fairies,
不过我是一个好小孩 but I have been a very good boy.
闭嘴! -好了 够了! - Shut up!- Alright, that does it.
走吧 去见老大! Come on,we're going to see the boss.
老大是谁? Who's the boss?
Loogie.
我的人告诉我 My associates here tell me
今晚你们在樱桃河工作 you were working Cherry Creek tonight.
是嘛? -是的 Is that true?- Uh, yeah.
就在我们的地盘上 老大! Right on our turf, boss.
我从来没见过这种- I ain't never seen that kind of disre--
我们先去的! We were there first!
孩子们在这个地方做牙齿精灵 Kids have been doing the Tooth Fairy racket
买卖已经很多年了 in this town for years.
我跟着我哥哥出道 I do it just like my big brother before me
再之前是我最大的兄长 and my oldest brother before that.
该死! 我们还以为是我们原创的呢! Damn it, and we thought we were so original.
让我来问问你 Let me ask you something.
你们之前把牙齿放在那个有钱人家的孩子枕头底下? You were gonna sneak a tooth under this rich kid's pillow.
然后呢? -你指什么? Then what?- What do you mean?
这个小孩的家长怎么会知道 How are the kid's parents gonna know
有一颗牙齿在他们孩子枕头底下? there was a tooth under their child's pillow?
哈! Ha!
你们这些家伙连牙齿买卖的程序都不知道! You guys don't even know how the tooth trade works.
什么是"牙齿买卖?" What's a tooth trade?
听着 任何傻子都可以穿着漂亮 Look, any schmuck can sneak through a window
衣服从窗户里溜进去 wearing a pretty dress.
而牙齿买卖要更深入得多 The tooth racket is much more involved.
我们小心选定房子 We keep careful track of what houses we've hit
这样就避免两个月内 so that we don't hit the same one twice
在同一栋房子干两次活 in less than two months.
进房子以后 我们不只是 Inside the house,we not only have to sneak
偷偷在枕头下留下牙齿 a tooth under the pillow,
还留下字条给爸爸妈妈 but leave a note for Mom and Dad to see.
我们就是这样让家长知道 This is how we let the parents know
要放钱到枕头底下的 to leave money under the pillow.
一旦在最后一栋房子放好纸条 Once the notes have been placed in the last house,
我们就重新回到第一栋房子 we start all over,going back to the first house.
不过这次我们只要拿钱就好了 But this time,all we have to do
不过这次我们只要拿钱就好了 is collect money.
那些孩子根本就不知道发生了什么 And the kids never know what hit them.
哇! Wow.
最难的部分是弄牙齿 The hardest part is getting teeth.
我们从不同的地方弄 We try various places:
公墓... cemeteries,
...曲棍球比赛场... hockey games,
一切能找到牙齿的地方 anywhere we can find them.
不! No!
然后把弄来的牙齿根据 The teeth we do manage to acquire
大小 颜色和质量分类 are then sorted according to size, color, and quality.
但是从来都不够 But there's never enough teeth.
从来都不够 Never enough.
太神奇了 Amazing.
晕 这太以牙还钱了! Man, that is tits!
现在剩下来的问题就是 And now my only problem is,
我该拿你们怎么办? what do I do with you?
我说:你们帮我负责 Tell you what,how would you like
南方公园的牙齿买卖怎么样? to run the South Park tooth racket for me?
噢 我不知道 Oh.I don't know.
就这样 或者我把你们的小鸡鸡给切了 It's that, or else I can cut off your penises.
恩 给你干活？ Hmm,work for you?
把我的小鸡鸡切掉？ Have my penis cut off?
给你干活 把我的小鸡鸡切掉 Work for you?Have my penis cut off?
-Cartman! Let's see.- Cartman!
如果给你干我们能拿到多少? How much do we get if we work for you?
我分百分之二给你们 I'll cut you in at 2%.
2%?
把我小鸡鸡切掉？ 百分之二 Have my penis cut off?2%--
我们干! We're in.
牙医同行们，大家都知道 Fellow dentists,as you all know,
全国各地发生了大量的 we are still having numerous reports of missing teeth
牙齿失踪案 from all over the country.
同时 还有一些牙齿精灵钱被盗的报告 There are also reports of missing Tooth Fairy money.
我们确信对这些事件 We believe that there can be only one logical reason
的合理解释只有一个 for all of this.
一种半鸡半松鼠的怪物 A giant half-chicken,half-squirrel
...它们从熟睡的孩子那偷牙齿 that steals either teeth or money
或者钱是为了修筑巢穴 from children as they sleep in order to build
从而繁衍遗传上更高等 some kind of giant nest for its genetically superior
和有潜在危险的后代! and potentially dangerous offspring.
我们还确信这种生物至少 We believe also that this creature would have at least
对代数有简单的理解能力 a mild understanding of algebra
并且- and that it--
打搅一下? 我想我有一种更合理的解释 Uh, excuse me, I think I have a more logical theory.
那 好的 Mr.Foley Well--well,by all means, Mr. Foley,
请说! enlighten us.
我觉得是有某种牙齿买卖的黑市 I think what we've got here
一个组织通过另一个组织 is some kind of black market tooth racket,
偷钱和牙齿来牟利 something where one group is stealing the money and teeth
偷钱和牙齿来牟利 from another group for a profit.
Mr.Foley 你知道这听起来有多可笑吗 Oh, Mr. Foley, you realize how ridiculous that sounds.
这不可笑 It's not ridiculous.
这是很有可能的 It's very possible.
我以前就见过 I've seen it happen before.
哪里?!在蒙特利尔(加拿大城市) Where?In Montreal.
在哪里 请问 ! And where, pray, is this
这个"蒙特利尔"? Montreal?
听着 我知道怎么办 Look, I know how to handle this.
只要搞倒组织首脑 All we have to do is bring down the kingpin,
其他的就都落网了 and the rest will fall.
你们看吧! You'll see.
我已经跟进几个星期了! I'll have it taken care of in a matter of weeks.
很好 Mr.Foley Very well, Mr. Foley,
你继续你的无用功 you go on your wild goose chase.
而与此同时我们要做的是处理真正的问题 And meanwhile, we'll deal with the real problems at hand.
我会的! I will.
总之 Anyway...
这种半鸡半松鼠怪物) The half-chicken, half-squirrel
很可能有3到4.5英尺高(一米二左右) would most likely be about 3 to 4 1/2 feet tall.
它的巨大的喙可能可以开合 His large beak is probably detachable,
并有浮游装置的功能 and works as a flotation device.
你们好啊 孩子们 Hello there, children.
嘿 大厨 Hey, Chef.
今天我们都要双份甜点! We all want double desserts today.
哦 恐怕这个 Oh, well, I'm afraid
学校要另外收费的 that the school charges extra for that.
是嘛? 这点钱屁都不算 Yeah, well,that ain't nothin' but a thang.
哦 天呐! Oh, my God.
那至少是15美金! There's got to be at least $15 here.
没事 留着零头 兄弟 That's right.Keep the change, my man.
看看你们这些可爱的小白孩! Well, look at you cute little crackers,
带着钱和手机 with your money and your fancy clothes
穿着好看的衣服 and your cell phones.
就像你们- It's almost like you are--
哦 天呐！ Oh my God!
孩子们! 我是怎么和你们说毒品的?! Children, what have I told you about drugs?
有一个为所欲为的地方 That there's a time and a place for everything
那就是"大学" and it's called college.
没错 That's right.
唯一比吸毒还糟糕的事 And the only thing worse than doing drugs
就是贩毒! is dealing drugs.
让我来告诉你们 我在你们这个年纪 I'm going to tell you about when I was your age
人家给我毒品的事 and got offered drugs.
哦 走吧 -嘿 小鬼 Ooh, come on, now.- Hey, kid.
要不要来点药? -什么? You want to try some dope? - What?
来点嘛 小鬼 你不想嗨一下嘛? Come on, kid,don't you want to get high?
嘿 我不需要毒品 让我给你们唱首歌: Hey, man, I don't need dope.
让我给你们唱首歌 Let me sing you a little song.
我等不及要长大 ♪ I can't wait until I grow up ♪
我的小鸡鸡变得强壮 ♪ And my weenie gets big and strong ♪
因为它变强壮我就可以爽 ♪ 'cause when it does,I'm gonna bust ♪
和Amanda嘿咻到天亮 ♪ And make love to you,Amanda, all night long ♪
十年内我就可以和Amanda做! ♪ I'm gonna make love to you,Amanda, in about ten years ♪
- 啊?- 他在说什么鬼东西? What the hell is he talking about?
绣花针变铁杵 牙签变大树 ♪ And this toothpick is gonna turn into an oak tree ♪
大厨 Uh, Chef?
我要让你全身没劲 浑身瘫软? ♪ I'm gonna knock you down ♪
大厨! -我要让你上下左右 爽到爆 Chef.- ♪ And knock you all around ♪
- 大厨! - 啊? Chef!- Huh?
我们没有涉毒! We're not dealing drugs.
- 没有? - 没有! You're not?- No.
哦 好吧 孩子们 不论你们做什么 Oh, well, children,whatever you're doing,
都要记住这一点 just remember this:
有钱的感觉可能很好 不过 having money may seem fun, but--
哦 算了 Oh, never mind.
- 谢谢大厨 - 再见 - Thanks, Chef.- See ya.
该死 那个小Amanda真好! Damn,that little Amanda was fine.
我要拜访她 I got to look her up.
兄弟们 有钱真爽! Dude,having this much money is great.
给Loogie干活无敌了! Working for Loogie rules.
是啊 不过 我们还要Loogie干嘛? Yeah, but you know,why do we need Loogie?
我们知道买卖怎么运作 We know how the trade works.
不如我们自己给自己干? Why don't we do it ourselves and keep all the profit?
我们不能那么做 老兄 Loogie会打死我们的 We can't do that, dude; Loogie will kick our asses.
那个小家伙能拿我们怎么样 啊? Oh, what the hell is that little Polack gonna do, huh?
来吧 各位! 我们创立自己的黑帮家族 Come on, you guys, I say we create our own mob crime family.
兄弟们 这书上说每件事实 Dude, this book says there could be
都可能有无限替换的事实 infinite alternate realities to every reality.
闭嘴 Kyle Shut up, Kyle.
他们是什么东西?! 他们不交钱给我了? They're what?They're not gonna pay me?
他们以为自己是什么人物? Who the hell do they think they are?
我要这些南方公园的小孩死光! I want those South Park kids dead.
我要他们家人都死光! I want their families dead.
我要把他们的房子烧成灰烬! I want their houses burned to the ground.
嘿 先生 我妈咪和嗲地不在 Oh, hi, there, mister.
如果您是要找他们的话 My mommy and daddy are out front if you need them.
少废话 小鬼 Let's cut the crap, kid.
我叫Tom Foley My name is Tom Foley.
我是美国牙齿协会的 I'm with the American Dental Association.
坐 Mr.Foley Sit down, Mr. Foley.
要来点意大利面吗? You want some spaghetti?
不用谢谢 No, thanks.
我刚刷了牙 I just brushed.
我来就是想让你知道 我已经盯上你了 I just wanted to let you know that I'm on to you.
我都和牙协会说了一千遍了 I told the A.D.A. a thousand times.
我不知道什么牙齿的事 I know nothing about teeth.
我不过就是个喜欢爬树 I'm just an eight-year-old boy
玩水坑的八岁小男孩 who likes climbing trees and playing in puddles.
我要找出头目! I am going to find out who the boss is.
我要让他完蛋 And when I do,I'm going to bust his ass
让每个帮他的人完蛋! and everyone's ass who helped hide his ass.
在这么说 你从中国给我带来了400磅(180千克)牙齿 So you've brought me 400 pounds of teeth from China?
没错 都是最高等级的货 That's right, yeah;it's all top-grade stuff too.
那些中国小孩用牙齿换花生 These Chinese kids are selling their teeth for peanuts, see?
怎么卖? How much?
Tang Li想要30块 Well, Tang Lee wants 30,
不过我能给你还到28 but I can cut you a deal for 28, yeah?
怎么说 啊? What do you say, huh?
能不能问你一个问题 奸商? Can I ask you a question, Weasel?
啊 当然 当然 Well--well--well, sure, sure.
你当我是傻子? Do you think I'm an idiot?
啊? Huh?
这是猫牙齿 你这个畜生! These are cat teeth,you son of a bitch!
你想卖给我400磅猫牙齿?! You trying to sell me 400 pounds of cat teeth?
给我滚! Get out of my sight!
恶心的人渣! Lousy little scum.
干什么?! What?
这是你最后的机会了 小鬼! This is your last chance, kid.
快给老大分成 Either you give the boss his cut,
不然的话你朋友就要 or else we're gonna throw your pal into the river
穿着水泥套鞋被扔到河里! wearing concrete galoshes.
我毛都不会给你一根! I ain't giving you crap.
Kenny不怕你们! Kenny's not afraid of you.
哦 天呐 Oh my god,this book says
这书说否定和肯定是一回事 that negative and positive are the same thing,
真的和假的是一样的 that real and not real are one.
- 他不答应?! He's not gonna do it?
他不答应 老大! He's not gonna do it, boss.
那扔他下去 Well, then, throw him in.
好了 小鬼 死期到了 All right, kid, time to die.
哦 不是吧 普拉特河有多深啊? Oh, man,how deep is the Platte River?
对此 克林顿女士回答 To which Ms. Clinton replied,
"我根本就不喜欢阴道" "I don't even like vagina."
今晚 总算有个有人情味的事件 Finally tonight,a human interest story.
Dan Akawa现场报道 Dan Akawa is live.
谢谢 Tom Thanks, Tom.
我现在在小Billy Circlovich家 I'm here at the house of little Billy Circlovich.
Billy 急需骨髓移植 Billy is in desperate need of a bone marrow transplant,
不然他基本没有活下去的可能 or he will most certainly die.
Billy 你做这个移植手术需要多少钱? Billy, how much more money do you need for the transplant?
- 六百美金 $600--
- 大点声 Billy 观众们听不见! Louder, Billy,we can't hear you!
六百美金 那是一大笔钱啊 $600.- Wow, that's a lot of money.
这么短时间你准备 How the hell are you gonna get all that
怎么弄到这些钱? in the short amount of time you have left?
我不知道 I don't know.
Billy 我听说你今天掉了一个牙齿 Well, Billy, I also understand that you lost a tooth today.
Billy 我们希望今晚你把 Billy, we want you to put that tooth
这个牙齿放在你枕头下面 under your pillow tonight,
因为我们有预感牙齿精灵 because we have a feeling that the Tooth Fairy
会给你六百美金! is going to leave you
会给你六百美金! $600 for it.
- 真的? - 真的? Really?- Really?
是真的 六百美金 Yes, really, $600.
提一下 Tom住在Crestview住宅 I might also mention that Billy lives
就在Emporia街Arapaho路 in Crestview Apartments just off Arapaho Road on Emporia Street.
话筒交还给你，Tom Back to you, Tom.
怎么样? How was that?
很好 陷进设好了 Perfect.The trap is set.
不是吧 你们真觉得 Oh, come on,you really think anyone
谁会这么傻上圈套? will fall for something that stupid?
六百美金 各位! $600, you guys!
快准备家伙! Come on,get your stuff together.
这是比大买卖! This is gonna be tits!
老兄 这书说只要我觉得自己存在 Dude, this book says that I don't exist
我才存在 但是如果我不觉得呢? unless I think I do,but what if I don't?
有没有人把他的书拿走? Will somebody take those books away from him?
记得把掉下来的牙齿 Be sure to put your loose tooth
放在枕头下面 Billy under your pillow, Billy.
好的 妈妈 Okay, Mom.
谢谢你们来帮助 先生们 Thank you for helping,gentlemen.
如果这个圈套有效 If this sting operation works,
假的牙齿精灵就应该会出来 some bogus tooth fairy should be showing up
拿走这个病孩子的钱 to take the sick kid's money.
他们一碰到那孩子的枕头 When they touch the kid's pillow,
报警器就会响 an alarm will sound.
然后你就按这个键 Murphy And that's when you hit the button, Murphy,
..来激活这些灯 and activate the lights.
大家都明白了吗 - 明白 - Everybody got it?- Got it.
- 按哪个键 再说一次 老大? Duh, which button do I hit again, boss?
开个玩笑 Just kidding.
你知道电影里的圈套行动中 You know how there's always the dumb guy
总有个傻蛋? in sting operations in the movies?
我就是 你看 I was just--you know,I was just acting--
我就是学学 I just like--yeah--oh.
快点 我们得在Loogie前 Hurry up, you guys;we got to get
拿到那个病小孩的牙齿精灵钱 that sick kid's Tooth Fairy money before Loogie does.
我想不明白 Stan I can't deal with it, Stan.
看了那些书我真觉得 I mean, all this stuff I've been reading,
我不是真实存在的 I really don't think I exist.
老兄 别再想就行了 Dude,just stop thinking about it.
但是我不能停止思考 因为 But I can't, because what if thinking about it
如果这是让我的时空统一的唯一方式呢 is the only thing keeping my space-time together?
兄弟们! 兄弟们 这边! 喂! Help!Hey, you guys, over here!
有时候我觉得自己能看到时间慢下来 Sometimes I think I can see time slowing down
自己的存在慢慢消逝 and my own existence fading.
晚安妈妈 晚安爸爸 Good night, Mom.Good night, Dad.
好了 大家都保持警惕 Alright,everyone keep your eyes peeled.
我要上床睡觉了 妈妈 I'm going to bed now, Mommy.
我把牙齿放到枕头下面 I put my tooth under the pillow.
你真觉得牙齿精灵 Do you really think the Tooth Fairy
会给我做移植的钱? will give me money for the transplant?
我相信会的 Billy 我相信会的 I think so, Billy. I think so.
我都等不及感受健康和强壮的感觉了 I can't wait to feel healthy and strong again.
你得多等一会了 Yeah, well,you're gonna have to wait
Billy因为那六百块钱是我的! a little bit longer, Billy,'cause that 600 bucks is mine.
光如果没有被观察到不过是一种波 Light is a wave unless it's observed.
这意味着一切都只是一种波 That means all matter is just a wave.
一切都是虚无! Nothing's real.
实体就是在-哦 天呐 来了! Reality and--oh, God,it's happening!
Kyle?
电脑有点问题 Hey, something strange is happening with the computers.
嘿 嘿 嘿 这里是在干嘛呢? Well, well, well,what do we have here?
哦 靠 Oh, shit.
你们这些畜生真以为可以躲我一辈子? Did you bastards really think you could hide from me forever?
Kolovski 给我把这个混蛋解决了 Klosky, put this butt wipe out of his misery.
拿到了! 牙齿精灵! I got it.The Tooth Fairy!
行动! Let's move out!
我靠! Well, crap.
投降吧 孩子们 Give it up, kids.
你们已经被牙医包围了 You're surrounded by dentists.
这是个圈套! 没错 It was a trap.- That's right.
一切都暴露了! 你们完蛋了! And now it's all exposed.You're through.
现在要做的就是 The only thing left to do
把你们都拖到监狱去! is haul all you kids down to prison.
这是真实的! This is reality.
我无处不在，却无处可去 I am everywhere and nowhere.
什么鬼东西? What the hell?
Kyle?
我是虚无 I am nothing
我是一切 and everything.
我跟你说过吧! Aha!I told you.
快离开这里! Let's get out of here!
太诡异了 Huh.That was pretty weird.
天呐! Jesus!
那个病小孩从一开头就是个圈套! The little sick kid was a setup all along.
我怎么这么傻?! -啊? How could I be so stupid?- What?
真不敢相信我居然中了这么明显的圈套! I can't believe I fell for such an obvious trap.
我到底怎么回事?! What the hell's wrong with me?
不要太强求 老兄 Well,don't take it too hard, dude.
大人就是这样 他们撒谎 That's what grown-ups do;they lie.
当着你的面撒谎 Lie right to your face.
哦 也许我的帝国衰败也不是坏事 Oh, well, maybe it's good my empire has fallen.
真的? 是啊 Really?- Yeah.
我今年有点想玩 I kind of wanted to play on
夺旗橄榄球 the flag football team this year, anyways.
所以你不打算伤害我们了? So you're not going to hurt us or nothing?
某种程度来说 我很高兴一切都结束了 No, in a way, I'm just glad the whole thing's over with.
是啊 但是我今天学到点东西 Yeah, but you know,I've learned something today.
所有理性的基础 You see,the basis of all reasoning
就是思想意识本身 is the mind's awareness of itself.
我们认为 What we think,
我们观察的客观事物 the external objects we perceive,
就像舞台上来往的演员 are all like actors that come on and offstage.
而我们的意识 舞台本身 But our consciousness,the stage itself,
却总是在我们面前 is always present to us.
很好 Tits.
Timmy!