以下是在停车场和动画原创 Trey Parker 和 Matt Stone的聊天记录
嗨，我是Trey Parker -我是 Matt Stone. - Hi, I'm Trey Parker.- And I'm Matt Stone.
我们是Trey Parke和Matt Stone And we're Trey Parker and Matt Stone,
这是"Terrance and Phillip: 非我屁眼莫属 " and this is "Terrance and Phillip: Not Without My Anus,"
这真的是我们最喜欢的一集 which is our favorite episode, and it really is.
我知道我们经常说这句 I know we always say that,
但是这真的是我呢最喜欢的一集 but this one really is our favorite episode.
恩..我们去年做过这个节目 This, uh -- we did this show last year.
它在愚人节那天播出 It aired on April Fools' Day,
这本来是愚人节的玩笑，而且-- and it was supposed to be an April Fools' joke, and--
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
我在做 -- 你懂得，MTV的事情 I'm doing a -- you know, the MTV stuff.
-别这样 -你懂得-来吧 - Don't do that. - You know--come on.
别这么做，不，别这么做 Don't do--no, don't do that.
-好的 -就坐那儿吧。 - All right.- Just sit there.
它在愚人节播出 It aired on April Fools' Day.
我们在第一季的结尾设定了一个 We'd set up the end of season one with a cliffhanger
关于卡特曼的父亲是谁的悬念 about who Cartman's dad was.
你应该在4月1日打开电视机 You had to tune in to find out who Cartman's dad was,
看看Cartman的爸爸是谁 and it was April 1st,
所以我不告诉你卡特曼的爸爸是谁 so instead of telling you who Cartman's dad was,
我们播出了Terrance and Phillip的那一集 we aired an entire Terrance and Phillip episode,
我们觉得这很好笑 which we thought was hilarious,
但是效果却不太好 but it didn't go over very well.
-大多数美国人都讨厌它 -是的 大家都讨厌它。 - Most of America hated it, yeah.- Everyone hated it.
他们--因为他们--他们说他们喜欢 And they--'cause they--they were like,
“好吧，Cartman的爸爸是谁?” Cartman的爸爸是谁?” "Well, who's Cartman's dad?Who's Cartman's dad?"
所有人都坐着等着看这一集 And everyone sat through this episode waiting to see
Cartman的爸爸是谁 还没能真正 who Cartman's dad was and didn't get to really
体验到这一集的.. experience the beauty and the--
美妙和精彩之处, the awesomeness of this episode,
所以我们很高兴录下来了 and so we're really glad that it's out on video
所以现在人们可以尽可以去欣赏和探索了 so now people can enjoy it for what it is.
我们很高兴这一集被录下来了。 We're very glad this episode is out on video.
因为现在每个人都可以看到 Because now everyone can see
多么杰出的作品啊 what a brilliant piece of work it is.
接下来请欣赏“特伦斯和菲利普: 非我屁眼莫属” So enjoy "Terrance and Phillip: Not Without My Anus."
上一集播出之后 你们等了四星期之久 Since the last "South Park," you've waited four long weeks
想要知道谁是Eric Cartman的父亲 to find out who the father of Eric Cartman is.
可是这个和Cartman后代有关的令人震惊的事实 Now finally, the shocking truth about Cartman's lineage
今晚还是能看不到，所以我们呈现给您 will not be seen tonight so that we can bring you
以下特别节目 the following special presentation.
愚人节傻子们
准备有请加拿大最炙手可热的动作明星出场 Now get ready for Canada's hottest action stars,
Terrance和Phillip将出演本周HBC的影片(恶搞HBO) Terrance and Phillip in the HBC Movie of the Week.
非我屁眼莫属（本片根据真实事件改编）
-=风软FRM字幕组=- 翻译:BabeGrant 校对:梅斯云度 Tears 双语合成 高行远
南方公园 第2季 第1集 非我屁眼莫属 South.Park.S02E01.Terrance.and.Phillip.in.Not.Without.My.Anus.
女士们 先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
在你们面前坐着一个杀人犯 before you today sits a murderer.
案发当晚 On the night in question,
这个魔头进了 Jeffrey O'Dwyer博士的家里 this monster entered the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer
用这把锤子一次又一次的砸博士的脑袋 and struck him repeatedly in the head with this hammer.
那个魔头恰好就坐在那里 That monster is sitting right over there
他就是Terrance and his nameis Terrance!
- 嗯 Terrance 你在法庭上放屁了 Terrance,you farted in court.
- 没错 Phillip 我正在替我们辩护 Yes, Phillip, I'm makinga case for our defense.
这些都是吧Terrance和谋杀案联系起来的物证 All of these thingslink Terrance to the murder.
毛发纤维 血样 碎指甲 Hair fibers, blood samples,nail clippings,
凶手衬衣上的碎片 a piece of his shirt,
刻有他名字首字母的手表 a watch with his initials on it.
写有作案时间的日程安排 A day planner with the murder scheduled.
一首名为"杀死Jeffrey O'Dwyer博士时刻"的抒情诗 A haiku called "Time to Kill Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer".
O'Dwyer博士 用我这把新锤子 "Dr. O'Dwyer, time to have your head smashed in
敲碎你脑袋的时刻到来了 with my new hammer."
Terrance 你可能是很著名的外科医生 Terrance, you may be a famous surgeon,
可你不是上帝 but you're not God!
你是恶魔 J'accuse,Terrance.
- 你是不是喜欢猴爪子 Phillip Would you like a "monkey claw", Phillip?
- 当然 请吧 Yes, please.
这就叫做猴爪子 That's called the "monkey claw"
因为就好像有1000只猴子 because it feels like my colon is being ripped apart
在撕裂我的结肠 by a thousand monkeys.
猴爪子臭死了 The "monkey claw" is smelly.
好了 继续吧 Come on, get a move on.
我不年轻了 I ain't getting any younger up here.
我多愁善感的法官阁下 My sentiments exactly,Your Honor.
从口音我听得出来您是加拿大南方人 I see from your accent that you're southern Canadian.
- 没错 That is correct.
- 各位正直的陪审团成员 我的客户Terrance Good people of the jury, my client, Terrance,
没有罪 is an innocent man.
- Phillip 你在法庭辩论的时候放屁 Oh, Phillip, now you farted during the closing argument!
- 我没有 Terrance. I have, haven't I,Terrance?
法官阁下 Your Honor,
被告正在藐视法庭 the defense is trying to make a mockery of this court.
他们觉得放屁很有趣 但是一点都不 They think that farts are funny, but they're not!
- 反对有效 Sustained.
- 正直的陪审团成员 我的客户Terrance... Good people of the jury, my client Terrance
...比你我都更不像个谋杀犯 is no more a murderer than you or me.
他喜欢小狗狗 讨厌做坏事 He loves puppies and hates mean things.
一个谋杀犯会去动物园像这样喂动物吃的吗？ Would a murderer go to the zoo and feed animals like this?
肯定不会 Of course not.
那么简而言之 判Terrance无罪 So in summation,find Terrance innocent,
否则他会杀了你们 or else he'll kill you.
开个玩笑 Just kidding.
辩护结束 The defense rests.
上帝啊 该死的 这一点都不好笑 God damn it,that isn't funny.
Foreperson女士 你们作出好让我们 Madam foreperson,have you reached a verdict
离开这个鬼地方的判决了吗 so we can get the hell out of here?
我们已经有结果了 法官阁下 我们遵照权利 在考虑Terrance We have, your honor.We have found Terrance
谋杀Jeffrey O'Dwyer博士 in the above entitled action of murder
动机的基础之上... against Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer--
你得重复一遍判决结果 You're gonna have to repeat that verdict
因为我们肠胃不好 because we had some flatulence issues.
我是说 我们判决... I said, we find--
我们判决Terrance... we find Terrance--
无罪 not guilty!
你听到了吗 Terrance Did you hear that,Terrance?
你无罪 You're not guilty!
Phillip 你从这个扯淡的法庭上救了我 Oh, Phillip, you've saved me from the gas chamber!
噢，不 Oh, no!
确实挺搞笑 Phillip That sure was fun, Phillip.
我们回家吃奶酪通心粉吧 Let's go home and eat kroff dinner.
嘿，嘿 Here, here.
看来 你们侥幸逃脱了 Well, looks like you got away with it,
Terrance 还有Phillip Terrance and Phillip.
你好 Scott Oh, hello,Scott.
感觉不坏 是吗 老伙计 No hard feelings,right, old pal?
感觉糟透了 这事儿没完 There are hard feelings. This isn't over!
我会盯着的 I'm gonna see to it
要让你们为你们的所作所为付出代价 that you both pay for what you've done!
- 你知道为什么吗 And do you know why?
- 因为你是个侦探（双关语 dick还有阴茎的意思） 'Cause you're a dick?
不 因为我恨你们 No, because I hate you.
你们觉得放屁很有趣 但是不 You think farting is so funny. Well, it isn't!
放屁笑话可是最低级的喜剧笑料 Fart jokes are the lowest form of comedy,
如果我... and if I--
哦 我恨你们俩 Oh, I hate you both!
我永远记得 I've hated you ever since I can remember.
我恨你们 希望你们俩得癌症 I hate you and I wish you both had cancer!
- 癌症? Cancer?
- 没错 长在脑袋里 Yes, in the head.
- 脑瘤? Head cancer?
- 这还没完Terrance Phillip This is not the end,Terrance and Phillip.
你们会后悔有这么一天 You'll rue this day.
- 哇 Scott真的恨我们 Phillip Wow, Scott really hates us, Phillip.
- 没错 或许他极度鄙视同性恋 Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.
- 但是我们不是同性恋 Phillip But we're not gay, Phillip.
- 我们不是吗 We're not?
好了 我们坐地铁回家吧 Well, let us board the subway and return home.
我们还要吃奶酪通心粉呢 There we can eat kroff dinner.
是啊 真是漫长的一天 Yes, it's been a long day
只有奶酪通心粉能安抚我的神经 and only kroff dinner can calm my nerves.
对了 Phillip Scott干嘛 Say, Phillip, why does Scott
总想告我谋杀 always try to convict me of murder?
他每周都这么干 He does it every week.
他肯定恨我们 He sure does seem to hate us.
我想知道他接下来要干嘛 I wonder what he'll try to do next.
- 鬼才知道呢 God only knows.
- 地铁里真的有大财宝 Terrance The subway certainly is wonderful, Terrance.
- 肯定有 我们找找 It sure is. Let's look for treasure.
- 好吧 我们找找 Yes, let's look for treasure.
- 你好 Hello?
- 你好 你是加拿大的Scott吗 Hello. Is this Scott from Canada?
是的 我是 Yes, yes, it is.
- 你是个记者 对吗 You're a journalist,right?
- 是的 我为杂志写电视评论 Yes, I'm a television critic for magazines.
我知道你恨Terrance和Phillip I understand that you hate Terrance and Phillip.
是的 没错 我恨他们 Yes, yes, I do.
他们觉得放屁是个绝妙的喜剧点子 They think fart jokes are a sophisticated form of comedy,
但是他们错了 but they're not.
假如我能帮助你永远除掉他们 Well, what if I were to help you get rid of them
会怎样 once and for all?
你是谁 Who is this?
我就是那个能帮你的人 Let's just say that I'm someone who can help you
如果你帮助我的话 if you help me.
- 就叫我你的老伙计 萨达姆 侯赛因 Just call me your old pal, Saddam Hussein.
- 萨达姆·侯赛因 伊拉克独裁者?!? Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi dictator?
放松 老兄 我只是个普通人 Hey, relax, guy, I'm just your average Joe.
放松一点儿 Take a rest!
你想干嘛? What do you want?
你想要Terrance和Phillip滚出加拿大 You want Terrance and Phillip out of Canada.
我想要你带我和我的朋友溜进加拿大 I want you to bring me and my friends into Canada.
听上去像个好买卖 不是吗 That sounds like a fair trade, doesn't it?
棒极了 我们成交吧 Super, let's get started.
- 我不知道该不该信任你 I'm not sure I should trust you.
- 放松 老兄 相信我 Hey, relax, guy, trust me.
哦 真糟糕 我们什么宝贝都没找着 Well, it's too bad we didn't find any treasure
在地铁上 Phillip on the subway,Phillip.
- 你好 丑仔Bob Oh, hello,Ugly Bob.
- 你好Terrance 你好Phillip Hello, Terrance.Hello, Phillip.
我的妈呀 你今天真是奇丑无比 丑仔Bob My God, you're looking hideously ugly today,Ugly Bob.
你怎么能这么说 How come you guys say stuff like that?
- 因为你是天杀的丑仔Bob Because you're Goddamned ugly, Bob.
- 我知道 但是... I know, but--
丑仔Bob 你的脸看上去就好象有 Ugly Bob, your face looks like somebody tried
什么人要用螺丝起子扑灭森林大火 to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.
长成这样 我能有什么办法 I can't help how I look.
可外表不重要 Besides, it's not what's on the outside that matters,
重要的是内在的本质 it's what's on the inside.
是的 没错 No, it isn't.
想看看我的内在本质是什么样的吗 Want to see what's on the inside of me?
等等 我有个主意 Wait, wait, I've got an idea!
你干嘛不把这个纸口袋套在脑袋上呢 丑仔Bob? Why don't you put this paper bag over your head, Ugly Bob?
是啊 要是人们看不见你的脸 Yes, if people can't see your face,
就不会知道你长得有多么丑了 they won't know how wretchedly ugly you are.
真的吗 谢谢你们 Really? Hey, thanks, you guys.
或许现在我能泡到小妞了 Maybe now I can score with chicks.
你当然能 丑仔Bob Sure you can,Ugly Bob.
要是他们看不见你奇丑无比的脸 If they can't see how horribly disfigured you are,
就有可能和你上床的 they'll want to sleep with you.
谢谢你们 朋友 Thanks, you guys.
你好Barky 你好Purry Hello, Barky,hello, Purry.
啪啪 Bark, bark!
噗噗 Prrr, prrr.
嘿 Terrance 我做过一些奶酪通心粉 Say, Terrance, I was just about to make some kroff dinner.
- 你要不要来点儿 Would you like some?
- 你知道我从来都不会拒绝奶酪通心粉 Phillip You know I never turn down kroff dinner, Phillip.
我去穿海盗服 I'm going to put on a pirate costume.
- 寄给Terrance的特件 Special delivery for Terrance.
- 我来签收吧 I'll take that.
在这儿签字 这儿 这儿 这儿 Sign here and here and here,
- 还有这儿 and here and here.
- 这儿 And here.
- 哦 Terrance Oh, Terrance!
你有一封信 You got a letter!
该死的 Phillip Shiver me timbers,Phillip.
就这速度我永远也拿不到我的奶酪通心粉 At this rate I'll never get to my kroff dinner.
- 哦 我的天 Oh my God!
- Terrance 怎么了 你又放屁了? What is it, Terrance?Did you fart?
没有 是Sally No, it's Sally.
她在伊朗被绑架了 She's being held captive in Iran.
不要是Sally 仁慈的上帝 不Terrance Not Sally! Dear God, no, Terrance.
为什么是Sally 上帝知道吗 Why Sally? God, why?
- 我说Terrance Sally是谁 Say, Terrance,who's Sally?
- 我女儿 My daughter.
- 我从来都不知道你有个女儿 Terrance I never knew you had a daughter, Terrance.
哦 是的 难道我没提过吗 同志 Oh, yes.Didn't I mention that, me hearties?
是的 你从来没提过 Terrance. No, you never did,Terrance.
哦 好吧 那是15年前的事了 Oh, well, it all began 15 years ago.
我的天 真是一个精彩的故事 Terrance My God, what a fascinating story, Terrance,
尤其是席琳迪翁那部分 especially the part about Celine Dion.
那是当然 Yes, indeed.
可是现在我的小Sally在伊朗被绑架了 But now my little Sally is being held captive in Iran
我要去把她找回来 and I will have to go and find her!
- 我和你一起去吧 Terrance And I will go with you, Terrance.
- 你真够朋友 Phillip You are such a good friend, Phillip.
好吧，你听说过那句话吗 Well, you know what they say.
“一起吃通心粉的就是好朋友” "A friend in need is a friend with kroff dinner."
出发 好朋友 Avast there, mateys.
- 你好 席琳迪翁 Hello, Celine Dion.
- Terrance 真令人惊喜 Terrance, this is quite a surprise.
- 你气色不错 You're looking well.
- 你也是 And you.
- 席琳 我们的女儿Sally去哪了 Celine, where is our daughter, Sally?
她在中东研究人类学 为什么问这个 She's in the Middle East studying anthropology, why?
- 错了 Wrong!
她现在被绑架扣为人质了 She's been taken hostage and is now being held prisoner.
- 什么 What?
我和Phillip要去伊朗把她找回来 Phillip and I are going to Iran to find her,
但是我们有可能回不来 but we may never return.
- Terrance, 我们这是怎么了 Oh, Terrance, what happened to us?
- 我们分手了 席琳迪翁 We just grew apart, Celine Dion.
求求你把我们的女儿平安的带回来 Terrance Please bring our daughter home safe, Terrance.
- 你好 丑仔Bob Hello,Ugly Bob.
- 嗨 伙计们 Hi, guys.
- 纸袋子有用吗 How's the paper bag working out?
人们好像很喜欢这个 People seem to really like it.
甚至本周五我还有个约会 I even have a date this Friday.
太可怕了 Terrific!
请给我们两张去德黑兰的机票 We need two tickets for Tehran, please.
伊朗很危险 你们不能去那 Iran is dangerous. You guys shouldn't go there.
混蛋 不管危不危险 Damn it, man!Danger or no,
我都要帮朋友找回她的女儿 I'm going to help my friend find his daughter!
好吧 今天有去那里的航班 All right then, there's a flight leaving today.
好极了 Oh, good.
我会想念加拿大的 Terrance Well, I certainly am going to miss Canada, Terrance.
没错 Phillip. Indeed, Phillip.
Terrance 如果我死在伊朗 Terrance, if I die whilst in Iran,
请把我的遗体送回加拿大 please bring my body back to Canada
然后把我装进一个奶酪通心粉的盒子里埋了 and bury me in a box with a side of kroff dinner.
我也一样 Phillip Same here, Phillip.
啊 加拿大 ♪ O Canada ♪
我们的家园与故土 ♪ Our home and native land ♪
您的子女 ♪ True patriot love ♪
忠诚爱国 ♪ In all thy sons command ♪
雄心万丈 国势昌盛 ♪ With glowing hearts we see thee rise ♪
强大而自由的北方之邦 ♪ The true north strong and free ♪
万众一心，啊加拿大 ♪ From far and wide, O Canada ♪
我们挺立护防 ♪ We stand on guard for thee ♪
上苍祝幸 国泰民安…… ♪ God keep our land... ♪
Scott呼叫红龙 红龙请回答 Scott to Red Dragon.Come in, Red Dragon.
我是红龙 继续说 Go ahead, Scott.This is Red Dragon.
计划进行中 很完美 The plan is working perfectly.
Terrance和Phillip上钩了 Terrance and Phillip have taken the bait.
好极了 Excellent.
我和弟兄们准备去加拿大了 My buddies and I are ready to come to Canada.
一切都安排好了吗 Has everything been arranged?
是的 一切都按计划行事 Yes, everything's proceeding according to plan.
现在，你要保证Terrance和Phillip一旦到达 Now, you promised that when Terrance and Phillip arrive
你就要把他们撕成碎片 打成筛子 they'll be ripped into pieces and shot several times.
嘿 放松点 老兄 Hey, relax, guy.
我会遵守约定的 I'm gonna keep my side of the bargain.
收到 红龙 通话结束 Roger, Red Dragon. Scott out.
我就好好让你们放个够 放屁精 I've got you now, you fart-loving fart lovers.
我听见你放屁了 I got ya!
噢, Phillip Oh, Phillip.
我怎么能在这个可怕的地方找到逃难的女儿呢？ How will I ever find my fugitive daughter in this daunting place?
我们不会讲阿拉伯语 We don't speak the language.
我们是不受欢迎的陌生人 We are unwelcome strangers,
我们都不知道从哪开始 and we have no idea where to begin.
看 她在那 Oh, look, there she is.
- 太棒了 Oh, good.
- 是谁 在哪? Who? Where?
我在这儿 Sally I'm here, Sally.
我是你父亲 Terrance It's your father,Terrance.
我来这儿就是要把你从臭哄哄的伊朗绑匪手里面救出来 I'm here to save you from your smelly Iranian captors.
- 爸爸 Papa.
她长得不像你 Say, she looks a lot more
更像席琳迪翁，Terrance like Celine Dion than you,Terrance.
- 哦 现在我找到相似之处了 Oh, now I see the resemblance!
- 好了 伊朗呆够了 我们回家 Well, enough of Iran, let's get home.
现在我把我的私生女送回去 Well, now that I have my bastard daughter back,
我想去席琳迪翁家 I feel like going to Celine Dion's house
要她再嫁给我 and asking her to marry me again.
呸 听上去我正在失去一个朋友 Oh, raspberries, looks like I'm losing a friend.
不 你正得到一个流行歌手 No, you're gaining a pop vocalist.
我的天 这儿怎么了 Oh my God! What is this?
- 这里是加拿大吗 Is this Canada?
- 好像已经变了 It seems to have changed.
这太疯狂了 This is madness!
Phillip 我们怎么办? What's going on,Phillip?
在我们离开期间加拿大怎么变得这么多? How could Canada have changed so much whilst we were gone?
我不知道 Terrance I don't know,Terrance.
照片上那个臭哄哄的家伙是谁? And who is that smelly person in all these pictures?
我必须把私生女送回席琳迪翁那去 I must take my bastard daughter back to Celine Dion
听听她怎么说 and see what she has to say.
席琳 我把我们的女儿Sally Celine, I brought our daughter Sally back
送回来了 我想要告诉你... and I want to tell you that--
Terrance 你能等一会儿再来吗 Terrance, could you come back a little later?
- 为什么 Why?
- 我现在有点儿忙 Uh... I'm just a little busy right now.
你家里有个男人 对吗 席琳迪翁? You've got a man over, don't you, Celine Dion?
- 好吧 我... Well, I--
- 嗨 伙计们 Hi, guys.
- 我的妈呀 是丑仔Bob Oh my God, it's Ugly Bob!
- 你他妈的在这儿干什么 What the hell are you doing here?
我正和席琳迪翁在一起 你说在干什么? I'm doing Celine Dion, what's it look like?
席琳迪翁 你都做了什么 Oh, Celine Dion,what have you done?
我正打算要我们复婚呢 I was going to make us a family again
你却和丑仔Bob上了床 but now you've slept with Ugly Bob.
你什么意思 为什么叫他丑仔Bob What do you mean? Why are you calling him "Ugly Bob"?
因为那就是他的名字 你这愚蠢的婊子 Because that's his name,you stupid bitch.
- 你告诉我你叫帅哥Bob You told me your name was "Handsome Bob"!
- 看看他的脸 席琳迪翁 Look at him, Celine Dion.
看哪 他那张恐怖的脸 Behold his horrible face.
我的妈呀 他真是奇丑无比 Oh my God, he's hopelessly ugly,
我正怀着他的孩子 and I am pregnant with his child!
- 什么 不 What? No...!
- 我就要有个畸形儿了 I'm going to have a freak baby!
哦 仁慈一点儿吧 Oh, the humanity!
嗨，萨达姆 Hey, Saddam,
你帮我做掉了Terrance和Phillip you helped me get rid of Terrance and Phillip
我要感谢你 and I appreciate that,
但是你为什么要把你的照片贴得满加拿大都是? but why are framed pictures of you going up all over Canada?
是那样吗? Huh? Oh, that?
是那样吗? 别担心 伙计 你需要休息 Don't worry, guy, you just need a rest.
不 我不需要休息 No, I don't need a rest.
我要知道这是怎么回事 I want to know what this is all about.
放松 小伙子 Hey, relax, fella.
我这么做就是要Terrance和Phillip I'm just making it so that Terrance and Phillip
永远别回加拿大 can never come back to Canada again.
我就占用几天时间 I just need a couple of things
之后我就回伊朗 and then I'm gonna head back to Iran.
我一直认为你来自伊拉克 I thought you were from Iraq.
伊朗 伊拉克 他妈的有什么区别吗 Iran, Iraq, what the hell's the difference?
放松 伙计 Relax, guy.
Phillip 我确信加拿大 Phillip, I'm convinced that something
正发生非常非常糟糕的事情 very, very not good is happening to Canada.
没错 我他妈的同意 Yes, I agree whole-fartedly.
- 你们这俩家伙到底在这儿干什么? Hey, what the hell are you guys doing here?
- 你好 Scott Oh, hello, Scott.
你们不应该在这里 You're not supposed to be here.
你们应该在伊朗寻找你那被绑架的... You're supposed to be in Iran looking for your kidnapped--
哦 我是说 你们两个今天还好吗 I mean, how are you guys today?
- 等等 你刚才说什么 Wait, what were you saying?
- 没说什么 为什么 Nothing, why?
- Scott 猜猜? Hey, Scott, guess what?
- 猜什么? What?
我更恨你们 Terrance和Phillip I hate you more than ever,Terrance and Phillip!
我恨死你们了 I absolutely abhor you both!
- 你在干什么 Scott What are you doing, Scott?
- 我在祈祷你得癌症 I'm wishing cancer upon you.
- 癌症? Cancer?
- 没错 我正试着用我的手把癌症传给你 That's right, I'm trying to give you cancer with my mind.
- 停下来 Ahh! Stop that!
- 嘿 别给我癌症 Hey, don't give me cancer.
侯赛因先生 美国政府显得很担忧了 Mr. Hussein, the U.S. government is becoming worried.
担忧 有什么可担忧的? Worried? About what?
放下包袱 放松 Take a load off,relax.
- 您好像要接管加拿大 You seem to be taking over Canada.
- 接管加拿大? 我吗? "Taking over Canada,"me?
你需要休息 老伙计 我可什么炸弹都没有藏起来 Hey, you need a rest, fella.I'm not hiding any bombs.
- 我们不要提跟炸弹有关的事了 We didn't say anything about bombs.
- 你不要吗? 嘿 放松点 Oh, you didn't?Hey, relax.
我们给你三年时间撤走 We're giving you just three years
你在加拿大的军事力量 to clear your forces out of Canada.
在那之后 我们计划把整个伊朗炸了 After that we're gonna bomb all of Iran.
- 我从伊拉克来的 I'm from Iraq.
- 伊朗 伊拉克 有什么区别吗 Iran, Iraq,what's the difference?
- 我讨厌美国人 Ugh, I hate Americans.
请让我杀了他们 Please let me kill them.
- 不要 你需要放松 老兄 No, no, you need to relax, guy.
记住我们的计划 首先控制加拿大 Remember the plan.First we take over Canada,
我们就会有最棒的流行女歌手了 then we'll have the best of the female pop vocalists.
之后我们将占领美国 After that, we'll take over the U.S.,
接着是欧洲 中国 纽芬兰 then Europe, then China,then Newfoundland,
进而是全世界 then the world!
- 什么事这么好笑 What's so funny?
- 没事 放松 朋友 Nothing, relax, buddy.
- 萨达姆 Terrance和Phillip回到加拿大了 Saddam, Terrance and Phillip are back in Canada.
- 真的? Oh, really?
你承诺会永远的干掉他们 You promised me they'd be gone for good.
那是你要遵守的那部分协议 That was your part of the bargain.
我改主意了 I changed my mind.
向上帝祈祷我别改得更多吧 Pray that I don't change it any further.
这笔买卖会一直更糟下去 This deal's getting worse all the time.
嘿 Terrance 我们看看美国的电视台吧 Hey, Terrance, let's watch American television.
可以 我们能收到美国的卫星信号 Yeah, we can get satellite feed from the U.S.
能看到他们所有愚蠢的电视节目 And watch all the stupid TV shows.
看看这个节目 Oh, look, here's a show.
你 you!
愚蠢 Stupid.
- 天杀的 他们的电视节目真垃圾 God damn, their TV shows are lame.
Eric Cartman的父亲实际上就是... The father of Eric Cartman is...
- 看看他们美国人那些不开窍的脑袋 Look at those silly American heads.
- 他们就像是一群土拨鼠 They look like groundhogs.
另一条消息 萨达姆 侯赛因终于 And in other news, it appears that Saddam Hussein
签署合约同意美国检查 has finally signed an agreement to let the U.S.
他的军事设施 inspect his military operations.
当被问及是否可能会单方面解约时 When asked if he would uphold his side of the agreement,
他反复的引用这句话 嘿 放松 小子 Hussein replied, quote, "Hey, relax, fella,
你需要休息 you need a rest, guy."
嘿 Phillip Hey, Phillip,
那不是我们在镇子里 isn't that the smelly gentlemen
看到的照片里的臭哄哄的家伙吗? we've seen in pictures all over town?
没错 就是他 Terrance Yes, it is, Terrance.
新闻上说 According to that newsy,
是个穆斯林暴君 he's some kind of Turkish dictator.
我们不能干坐在这儿吃着奶酪通心粉 Well, we can't just sit here and eat kroff dinner
而让这些穆斯林侵占加拿大 and let Canada be overrun by the Turks.
- 那放屁声像响起的电话铃 Terrance That fart sounded like a ringing phone, Terrance.
- 肯定是 Phillip. It sure did, Phillip.
等等 电话来了 Oh, wait, that is the phone.
- 你好? Hello?
- Terrance 我是Scott. Terrance, this is Scott.
- 嘿 是Scott Oh, hey...It's Scott.
- 告诉他 他就是个臭哄哄的私生子 Tell him he's a smelly bastard.
- Phillip说你好 Scott. Phillip says hello, Scott.
- 闭上嘴听我说 Just shut up and listen.
你们把一个魔头弄进了加拿大 You've unleashed a monster onto Canada.
只有你们能对付他 And only you can get rid of him,
尽管如此我还是恨你们 我还是希望你们得癌症 even though I hate you and I wish you had cancer.
- 你就是个鸡巴 Scott You are such a dick, Scott.
- 你是个鸡巴 You're a dick.
- 你是个鸡巴- 你是个鸡巴 - You're a dick.- You're a dick.
你们两个是加拿大最令人讨厌的鸡巴 The two of you are the most annoying dicks in Canada.
你们给其他加拿大人的脸上抹黑 要是我来决定.... You give other Canadians a bad name, and if I had my--
- 对不起 Scott 你能等一会儿吗 I'm sorry, Scott, could you hold on a minute?
- 没问题 Sure.
- 喜欢它吗 Scott? How do you like that, Scott?
- 你这婊子养的 我做的最后一件事就是干掉你... You son of a bitch,I'll get you if it's the last--
- 等等 有另一个电话进来 你能等会儿吗 Oh, wait, I have another call, Scott, can you hang on?
- 没问题 Sure.
哦 可真臭啊 Oh, that was Sir Smelly.
他说你好 He says hello.
- 天杀的 God damn it!
- 等会儿 Scott Oh, wait a second,Scott.
可以 我意思是不 Sure. I mean, no!
你听我说 You listen to me.
你们要是想拯救加拿大 If you want to save Canada
就必须赶来卡尔奶酪餐馆见我 you'll meet me at Karl's Kroff Dinner Restaurant
半小时之内 in half an hour.
丑仔Bob 我很矛盾 Oh, Ugly Bob,I'm so confused.
我喜欢你的人品可是你长得真是太丑了 I love your personality, but you are so wretchedly ugly.
- 或许孩子像你而不像我 Maybe the baby will have your face instead of mine.
我们只能这么希望了 We can only hope.
我想要是 I suppose we'll be okay
你一直套着口袋 我们就会好起来 as long as you keep that bag on your head.
怎么回事 What's this?
我叫萨达姆 Hey there, my name's Saddam.
我是个狂热的马球迷 I'm a big fan of Polo.
我找了你很长时间了 席琳迪翁 I've been searching a long time for you, Celine Dion.
- 不 你别想 他是我的女人 Oh, no you don't,she's my bitch.
- 你是谁 Hey, who are you?
我叫Bob 但是朋友们叫我丑仔Bob I'm Bob, but my friends call me "Ugly Bob"
因为我在一场大火中毁了容 because I have the features of a deformed burn victim.
真的 我想加拿大人都长得都差不多 Really? I thought all Canadians looked alike.
让我看看 Let me see.
对不起 伙计 Well,I'm sorry, guy.
你知道，我会治好你的脸的 You know, I could cure that face of yours.
- 你能吗? You could?
- 当然 我需要一点好处 Sure. I just need a favor.
明天有场加拿大足球赛 There's a Canadian football game tomorrow.
渥太华游骑兵队对温哥华骑士队 The Ottawa Roughriders against the Vancouver Roughriders.
比赛上我会把加拿大国旗 It's at that game that I will officially turn
正式换成我们伊朗的 the Canadian flag over to my Iranian one.
- 什么 为什么 What? Why?
- 嘿 别担心 放下包袱 Hey, don't worry about that, take a load off.
别去想那件事 看看这边 Don't think about it, look over here.
我所需要的就是请席琳迪翁 All I need is for Celine Dion
在赛场上歌唱我们伊朗国歌 to sing our Iranian national anthem at the game
以结束我对加拿大敌对占领 你觉得如何 to finalize my hostile takeover of Canada. What do you say?
- 你是说对加拿大的敌对占领吗 Did you say hostile takeover of Canada?
- 不是 放松 老伙计 No, no, relax there, fella.
Scott说在这儿见他 可他还没出现 Well, Scott said to meet him here but he's not showing up.
趁等待这段时间 Well, while we're waiting,
我们干嘛不找找财宝呢 why don't we search for treasure?
好主意 我们找吧 Oh, good idea, let's search for treasure.
- 你们这两个白痴在干嘛? What are you idiots doing?
- 我们在找财宝 We're looking for treasure.
那是对不好表达的探寻的 Is that some kind of metaphor
一种隐喻吗? for a kind of search that can't be described?
- 不 我们就是在找财宝 No, we're searching for treasure.
- 听着 我有个内幕消息 Listen, I have an inside scoop.
有个伊拉克独裁者 There's an Iraqi dictator
正悄悄的慢慢的侵占加拿大 who is quietly and slowly taking over Canada.
你说的是臭哄哄的萨达姆 Yes, you mean Saddam Smelly.
我们在电视上看见他了 We saw him on the telly.
对于这件事你们两个怎么办 Well, what are you two gonna do about it?
- 你什么意思 What do you mean?
- 他在这儿是你们的错 It's your fault that he's here.
你救回了被绑架的女儿 You brought the Iraqis back with you on your plane
顺便把这些伊拉克人也一并带了回来 when you rescued your kidnapped daughter.
- 你是说我们要负责? You mean we are to blame?
- 没错 现在必须补偿你们的过错 That's right, and now you must make amends.
明天 萨达姆要在游骑兵队与骑士队 Tomorrow, Saddam will try to finalize his takeover of Canada
足球赛上试图完成对加拿大的占领 at the Roughriders/Roughriders football game.
- 那将是你们除掉他们的唯一机会 It will be your only shot at wiping them all out.
- 带上这个 Here, take this.
- 是什么 What is this?
这是炸弹 It's a bomb.
你们必须把它绑在身上赶去比赛现场 You must strap it to yourselves, go to the game,
牺牲你们自己以除掉萨达姆那伙人 and sacrifice your lives to take out Saddam's minions.
- 那听上去太可怕了 That sounds scary.
- 为了加拿大 你们必须这么做 Well, you must do it for Canada.
- 为了加拿大 Terrance For Canada, Terrance.
- 为了加拿大 Phillip For Canada, Phillip.
是啊 Terrance和Phillip Yes, Terrance and Phillip.
当尘埃落定 And when the dust is settled
加拿大就会摆脱那些伊拉克人 Canada will be rid of both the Iraqis
还有你们两个愚蠢的放屁笑话了 and your immature fart humor.
Phillip 必须为加拿大战死我很难过 Well, Phillip, I'm very sad that we have to die for Canada.
是的 Yes.
这颗炸弹会把我们炸成碎片的 This bomb will blow us both to smithereens.
但我们真的别无选择 But we really have no choice.
只有用我们的死才会换来加拿大的生 Only our deaths can bring Canada life.
- 真臭 That's funny.
- 等等 Terrance Wait a minute, Terrance,
那个屁让让我想到了什么 that fart gives me pause.
怎么了 Why is that?
那个臭哄哄的萨达姆·侯赛因 That smelly Saddam Hussein,
使用生化武器 不是吗 he uses German chemical warfare, does he not?
- 没错 显然他用了 Yes, apparently he does.
Terrance 把电话簿拿来 Terrance, get the phone book.
我们要尽量打电话给每一个加拿大人 We must call every Canadian we can.
- 噢 Phillip 听起来好像你有主意了 Oh, Phillip, it sounds like you have an idea.
- 没错 Terrance I do, Terrance.
游骑兵队为了钱也要 And the Roughriders are really giving the Roughriders
送给骑士队一个持球跑 a run for their money.
另外 我必须说骑士队 All else aside, I must say that the Roughriders
轻轻松松的领先了游骑兵队 are simply outmatched by these Roughriders.
现在中场休息 And that's going to take us to halftime.
其间将有个有关萨达姆 Be sure to stick around for the halftime show,
和紧张兮兮的伊拉克人的节目 Saddam and the Electric Iraqis,
插播进来 向恶意接管者致敬 in a salute to hostile takeovers.
- 我想时间到了 老朋友 Well, I guess it's time, old friend.
- 对 准备拉响警报 Yes, prepare the alert.
你们好 我的加拿大朋友们 Hello to my Canadian friends.
大家放松 放松一会 Everybody, relax, take a rest,put your feet up.
抬起脚 因为这些狗在狂吠呢 Those dogs are barking.
你们或许已经注意到你们的国家发生了一些变化 You may have noticed some changes to your country.
别担心 变化还会持续下去的 Don't worry about that.The changes will continue.
在这儿我要永远的宣布 I'm here to announce once and for all
加拿大就要成为新巴格达了 that Canada will now be known as New Baghdad.
你们要把我当成你们的统治者 You will bow down to me as your ruler.
要遵守我的法律 否则就得死 You will obey my laws or you will be killed.
现在你们要唱伊拉克国歌 And now you will sing the Iraqi national anthem
否则就刺穿你们的脑袋 or you will be stabbed in the head.
- 现在开始吗 Phillip? Now, Phillip?
- 开始行动 Terrance Now, Terrance.
这他妈的怎么回事 Hey, what the hell is this?
他们在使用化学武器 They're using chemical warfare.
他们怎么做到的 How could they?
- 我们成功了 Phillip We did it, Phillip.
我们打败了这些穆斯林 We destroyed the Turks!
- 啊 多么光荣的一天 Oh, glorious day.
- Terrance Terrance 你拯救了加拿大 Terrance, Terrance, you've saved Canada.
- 哦 那全是Phillip的主意 Oh, it was all Phillip's idea.
- 上帝保佑你 Phillip God bless you, Phillip.
- 别碰我 丑仔Bob Don't touch me, Ugly Bob.
这儿到底发生了什么事 Hey, what the hell happened?
你们应该被炸成碎片了 You were supposed to be blown up!
我们想出了一个更完美的计划 We came up with a better plan.
你看 Scott 在你的批判之后 You see, Scott, after all your criticism,
是屁拯救了加拿大 it was farting that saved Canada.
- 哦 真幼稚 Oh, that is so juvenile.
- 嘿 Scott 你喜欢吃苹果吗 Hey, Scott, do you like apples?
当然喜欢 Of course.
你怎么能喜欢苹果呢 How do you like them apples?
我恨你们 Terrance和Phillip I hate you, Terrance and Phillip!
噢，席琳迪翁 Oh, Celine Dion.
你还没唱完国歌呢 You never finished that national anthem.
没错 Terrance 说的对 You're right, Terrance, you're right.
啊加拿大!我们的家园与故土 ♪ O Canada, our home and native land ♪
你的儿女 ♪ True patriot love ♪
忠诚爱国 ♪ In all thy sons command ♪
雄心万丈 国势昌盛 ♪ With glowing hearts we see thee rise ♪
强大而自由的北方之邦 ♪ The true north strong and free ♪
万众一心 啊加拿大 ♪ From far and wide, O Canada ♪
我们挺立护防 ♪ We stand on guard for thee ♪
上苍祝幸 国泰民安 ♪ God, keep our land ♪
自由辉煌 ♪ Glorious and free ♪
啊加拿大 ♪ O Canada ♪
我们挺立护防 ♪ We stand on guard for thee ♪
啊加拿大 ♪ O Canada ♪
我们挺立护防 ♪ We stand on guard for thee ♪
Cartman的父亲是谁 Who is Eric Cartman's father?
新一集的南方公园 Find out on an all-new"South Park"
尽在几周后全 in just a few weeks.